.The Child Of A Goddess.

-140-

Amata's pov:

"It won't hurt you!"

"Get it away from me!!"

I felt bad for yelling at Custos for asking me to hold a torch for her but the orange flames dancing at the top were too much, I couldn't move my hands towards it, the pain of my arms flaring up in phantom pain whenever I looked at fire.

Something that was once a no brainer now terrified me, urges to scratch at my arms to try to scrap off the burning skin was strong despite it being nothing.

The time we've been in this town we had just remained cooped up in an inn mostly, the angels letting us stay but being prideful bastards looked down on us and wouldn't talk so even to blend in was impossible as they wouldn't talk to us to let us buy fitting clothes so black leathery stuff it remained.

I spent most of my time in my room, lost in thoughts, I couldn't help it, I was the only one to blame.

She died because of me.

I didn't have the motivation to go on or want to pursue this quest no matter who comforted me, from Fortis to my mother passing by the cleaning maid that told me whatever was wrong would get better when she passed by, no one could get me to shake this feelings.

My back had healed up but I didn't care to train my possible wings in any way.

My arms were still both wrapped up because of these episodes of me feeling the burn of the golden flames acutely leading to washing my arm so hard they were angry red, scraped and skin torn open at the strength, never having the time to heal before it got bad again.

I spent my days in the arm chair near the window and looking out, chin resting on the back of my fist. I stayed there for days unmoving and unwilling to even live but it seemed that the sick twisted humor of fate didn't let me wither away, nothing changed, I wasn't getting weaker, I wasn't getting less.... nothing changed.

Not even the dragons could get to me, Viridi's want to be with me, to train, play or whatever, or Frigus' wants for attention, love, pets or games, nothing could get to me.

Nightmares of fire and death kept me up at night, often waking up with my hands digging into my arms like clawed grips.

I just lost the will to go on, to thrive... To live.

And.

Somehow.

As time passed.

So did the pain.

Acceptance coming.

Making way between the angers and denial suffocating me.

Acceptance came and opened my eyes again.

Grief and guilt still stabbing at my soul but acceptance was there to help me deal with it.

I don't know what it came from and why but fate deemed it time for me to go back to my destiny against my will.

I didn't want to accept the acceptance but no matter how strongly I held onto guilt and the pain to wretched it from my hands.

Slowly I was forced out of my shell by my own body working against me and soon all was almost back to normal.

Almost.

Being outside for the first time in forever felt different.

I wondered off into the forest on my own.

I had no intention of picking up the quest ever again, just heading home. the world could leave with wars still as half of it was at peace and I could go back home to my father and his real wife and child, I could be fine and with a family.

Thunder boomed as these thoughts raced around my mind and dark clouds gathered.

"I don't want to do this!!" I yelled at the sky and got assaulted by heavy rain and wind, knocking me over before I stood up. "Find someone else to do your biding!! I will not go through losing another!!" Thunder struck. "I don't care for your stupid destiny!! I won't complete it!!" I screeched as I tried to block out the wind with my arms, eyes half closed, a freaking whirl wind around me.

(listen to this I think it does fit a lot right now)

"I will not complete your stupid work!!"

I yelped when my feet left the ground, the wind dragging me up.

I looked forth in shock, leaves and pieces of flowers, dirt or branches, all these small thinks whirled around in the wind but as they moved they always followed the same direction and flow, creating the silhouette in the wind.

The arm formed of the debris reached out and felt surprisingly soft on my cheek, the same ghostly cold as her hand always felt like.

And a vision flashed by my vision.

The world in flames, the people miserable and dying, few free survivors while the rest were enslaved to angels, worked to death and bones, my friends either all dead or wishing they were with me crucified but still alive against how my eyes looked, wishing for death.

I yelled and yanked myself away.

"This future awaits all if you don't complete you destiny child." The voice came through the wind as it set me back down and cleared up as fast as it came.

I stood wide eyed as I stared at the clear sky, not even drenched by the sudden rain that had happened.

My mouth hung open in just shock.

I took a deep breath.

"Fine." I whispered. "If such is a future if I run from my fate then I don't have a choice but to go on." I reluctantly said.