Collarbone Control

5

Harry watched as Draco stormed into the toilets, holding his shoulder where he had just pushed him moments ago. He made light circles where the contact had been, reminiscing in the feeling as he stared at the door, now closing. Harry turned on his feet to leave but something wouldn't let him walk away, like there was something pulling him towards that bathroom, to Malfoy.

Draco had been on his mind so much these last couple days that he felt obliged to stay. Obliged to truly find what was wrong, or at least help him back to the Hospital Wing - where Harry assumed he'd been these last two nights. Why else would he be wearing so little clothing? He must have snuck out before Madam Pomfrey saw him.

Pushing open the door and ensuring his footsteps made no sound, Harry thought to how Hermione rushed through the common room earlier that evening. She'd looked slightly flustered and when Harry had tried to ask her what she'd read up on in the library, she shook her head. It was none of their business as to what was going on with Malfoy, and they should just drop it now.

What illness was bad that Hermione didn't feel she could share it and that Malfoy was so defensive about? Looking at his body just minutes ago was unsettling to Harry - disturbing almost. It eerily reminded him of Inferi whom Harry encountered a few years ago when with Dumbledore. Their skeletal pale bodies haunted his mind and Harry shuddered.

As he tried to push the thought away, he could hear violent vomiting with tiny whimpers in between each retch. Harry trembled as he moved closer. He must be really ill to be chucking up when in such a frail state. He reached the cubical door where he assumed Malfoy was, taking in a sharp deep breath, he gently knocked on the door to alert Malfoy of his presence.

'Draco?' he said softly, 'Are you okay in there?' He waited for some kind of response.

He heard some shuffling from the other side of the door and a small whimper. Looking down at the crack between the floor and the door he saw the shadow of Draco leaning against it. Harry crouched and moved closer, looking at the small of Draco's back, exposed to the outside, deciding whether to stay or not.

Draco made some kind of croaking sound but Harry saw no movement from behind the door. Huffing Harry raised to his feet - he should leave, this isn't his place. Hermione was right, it was none of their business.

Stay.

Harry felt Draco say. But not out loud. It was as if Draco had planted the thought into Harry's mind. It was a weak, painful thought but it was enough for Harry to realise want Draco wanted.

Leaning against Draco's cubical Harry slid down, settling in a similar position to how Draco must be and leaned his head back onto the cold frame door.

'Legilimency,' Harry said with a smile to Draco, 'nice.' he muttered, hoping Draco would respond in some way.

Suddenly aware of how close he and Draco were, just a small piece of wood between them. How Harry wished there not to be, how he wanted to break down the wall and embrace the other boy, hold his hand and -

Harry shut up he thought to himself... Draco was a Legilimens. He was probably casually reading through these ridiculous thoughts currently, sneering to himself over Harry's moronic ideations.

Suddenly, Harry felt something cold reach out and touch his fingers which were dangling by the crack under the door. Looking down he saw Draco's spindly fingers searching for his own. Harry took Draco's hand and felt a tingling sensation shoot through his arm from the point of contact. Feeling short of breath from this desired touch he felt a smile reach his eyes as he looked down at Draco's hand that was gripping his own.

He noticed red scaring on Draco's knuckles as if he'd been bitten and frowned. Curious he thought, Draco Malfoy is making less and less sense.

A croaky giggle that seemed to turn into a coughing fit erupted from the boy behind him, causing Harry himself to let out a dry chuckle.

'Bellatrix,' Draco said in a shaking frog-like voice, 'she taught me Occlumency in our 6th year to keep out... well everyone from muddling up my mind.' It seemed like it was taking Draco great effort to talk, 'And I picked up Legilimency along with it, pretty easy when everyone around you is using it.' He forced out. There was a deep nostalgic sadness in his voice, haunted by what he'd experienced in the last years.

'Snape tried to do that for me.' Harry replied, remembering the nights of torture while he tried to stop Snape entering his mind, 'Was a shit teacher though.'

Harry felt Draco take a sharp intake of breath at his final statement on their previous Headmaster.

'Sorry.' Harry began remorsefully, 'I forgot he was close to you.'

'Don't-' Draco said, 'You don't need to apologise.' he still sounded in pain when he spoke.

They sat in a thick yet comfortable silence for some time. Harry not wanting to press many questions to Draco, but their hands still locked together which was the only thing Harry could concentrate on. The feeling of Draco's shaking hand, seemingly holding on to Harry for dear life. Harry felt wanted by Draco. Needed.

He thought back to the last time he and Malfoy had been on a bathroom floor together - surprisingly this had happened more than once. Sectumsempra, the spell danced in Harry's mind, mocking him for its miss use. Malfoy had bled everywhere that night, red liquid pouring out of the huge lacerations, ones that Harry had created. Would he still have those scars? A familiar guilt plagued him, regretting that the curse had ever slipped past his lips.

Abruptly Draco took his hand away from Harry's, stood up and swung the door open, causing Harry to fall back on to Draco's bare feet. He looked up at Draco who wore a friendly smirk, trying not a laugh at Harry's position.

He got to his feet in one swift movement and stood face to face with Draco. They were just a few inches apart, if Harry'd stuck his tongue out far enough he could have licked Draco's pale face. He could smell sick on his breath, his eyes were puffy and red with tear streaks down the side from his brutal vomiting. He could see the huge purple bags resting under his eyes, exhaustion filling the look. He saw his defined skull that was almost alien-like. It was like a knife in the heart to see Draco in such a state.

Putting his arms around Draco's frail quivering shoulders Harry pulled him into a soft embrace. Holding his breath, Harry waited for Draco to react in some way. In response, Draco moved his shivering, pale arms slowly around Harry's waist, pulling him closer into a firmer hug. Letting out a soft cry Draco wept into Harry's shoulder. He wept hard. Wet yet warm tears bleeding out rapidly.

'It's okay.' Harry whispered, trying his best to comfort the trembling boy, 'I've got you.' he rested his head on Malfoy's own.

All of a sudden Harry's mind was flooded with images. Visions of Draco's suffering over the last few years. The meals he'd skipped, the countless times he'd forced his fingers down his throat, the times he'd weighed himself, sit-ups to burn anything he'd consumed, his mind constantly on food, and the word control burned through him. Nothing else mattered more than Draco's need for control.

Draco squeezed Harry closer as he let it all out, placing it into Harry's mind, showing him his illness -his mental illness.

'Ana-rrexia and b-bu.' Draco coughed out between his tears which were now soaking Harry's shirt, 'Bulimia n-nervosa.' Draco finished, trying to stop the flood of emotion consuming him.

'Let it all out.' Harry said, trying to reassure him, 'It's okay.' he repeated.

'Thank you.' Draco whispered, 'Thank you.'