Collarbone Control

8

Draco's mouth hung open. Potter had kissed him. Potter had kissed him. Before he could say anything Potter was stalking away.

'Potter' Draco wanted to shout but it only came out as a whisper.

Still in shock, Draco wandered the castle, his head spinning (and not from lack of food this time) and his heart racing. Fuck I need a fag. He couldn't believe what had happened or why it had happened. But it did.

Draco found himself at the door of a familiar toilet. He couldn't resist just peaking his head in... Maybe she'd be in here, he could tell her what just happened.

'Myrtle?' Draco called out as he entered the abandoned toilet, but there was no answer. He traveled to the sink and looked himself in the mirror. His lips were slightly puckered and his cheeks had a little colour brushed over them. he touched his mouth where Potter's lips had blessed and couldn't help but smile.

'Draco?' A high pitch voice said, 'I thought I heard you out there'

'Myrtle,' Draco turned around to face the ghost who was floating down to him, 'I knew you'd be around here.'

'Aww Draco I've missed you, but I heard you've been a very naughty boy' She said dramatically, causing Draco to roll his eyes, 'Have you still got that terrible habit?'

'If by naughty you mean being a Death Eater then yes, but I'd rather the term ex-Death Eater... and I'm righting my wrongs' Draco said playfully. He and Myrtle had a strange relationship, but it worked...

'And that dreadful habit of throwing up everything you eat?' She questioned directly.

'Still a habit' he said, as Myrtle looked at him with disappointment, 'But it's getting better and I'm trying to eat more...'

'Oh, Draco my love' She flew into the air hysterically, 'What a dreadful situation you were in last time we spoke... I'm glad it's getting better for you.'

'Well yeah that's one way to put it,' Draco bit his lip, unsure whether to share what just happened.

'What is it Dray?' She said in a tone that reminded him of Pansy 'I won't tell' She gawked her big eyes at him.

'Harry Potter... kissed me' Draco hesitated, 'I kissed him back'

Suddenly someone bolted out from the furthest cubicle and was out the door before Draco could register who it was. Myrtle gasped melodramatically and seemingly fainted with the back of her hand on her forehead.

Draco ran for the door, hoping to catch that eavesdropping basted but he was too late. He looked down the corridor, but both ways were empty. He slammed the bathroom door shut and stormed down the corridor, back to the Slytherin common room.

When he got there he was still full of rage. How could he have been so foolish, if he spoke to Myrtle in his 6th year he would always check the cubicles; often finding 4th years snogging each other's faces off, but he didn't even think about it today.

As he walked in he saw Blaise sitting alone by the fire, he looked up when he heard Draco coming and fixed his dark eyes, on Draco's grey ones. Draco could tell Blaise knew, it was like a smell, his knowledge, something gone sour like old milk. He was the one in the toilet.

Blaise opened his mouth to speak but Draco raised his hand to silence him.

'I'll explain, but no interruptions and don't say a word to anyone' Draco said firmly as he cast Muffliato spell around them and Blaise nodded seriously.

'So you kissed Potter?' Blaise said again.

'Yes, well no, he kissed me,' Draco said wearily, 'I told you I'd been starving myself and chucking up anything I did eat and you're getting hung up on Potter?'

'Well this is all just a bit of a shock okay' Blaise replied defensively, 'We knew something was up, why didn't you tell me.'

'You don't understand' Draco tried to explain, 'The whole thing is about not telling people, it's like your own little secret thing that only you can control.'

'Ah okay,' said Blaise still a little confused, 'So how can I help you? and what are you going to do about Potter?'

'Well if I'm honest there's not much you can do about my eating but be encouraging I guess, I don't know...' Draco scratched his head, 'and Merlin knows what I'm going to do about Potter.'

Draco stepped onto his scales yet again. The task was always aggravating as Draco wasn't losing nearly as much as he had done in the past since he was actually keeping some food down. This didn't mean he wasn't losing at all. 52.8kg.

Malfoy shuddered. This was the lowest weight he'd been in the last two years. He'd been lowest in his 6th year, but that was when he was trying to kill his headmaster so it didn't really count. But he didn't feel any joy when looking at the scales, he felt sad, he was trying he really was but he was just feeling more crappy. 

He didn't feel good for losing, but also didn't want to gain. He stepped off and changed into his nightwear, lying glumly on his bed. Why is it he can never sleep?

He gave up and stormed out the dorm down into the common room, catching Blaise's eye as he left. He was expecting to be stopped by his friend but he just nodded as Draco slipped out the door.

Draco walked up the stairs and up again and again with no real aim. His thoughts raced as he climbed the many staircases.

I want to recover. I do. But how? 'How!' he said out loud.

On his left, a door began to appear and Draco shuddered. The room of requirement.

He was hesitant to entre, he'd practically lived there in his 6th year - he'd not been here since. There were too many memories this place held, but he pushed open the door all the same.

The room was empty aside from one lonely mirror standing in the center with beautiful engravings around it. Draco approached it carefully, wondering how a mirror could tell him how to beat this.

He gazed into the mirror and saw himself staring back. But it didn't really look like him. His eyes were full, his skin not quite as pale and his cheekbones not so gauntly defined. His arms seemed strong and his hair was thick and soft. When Draco squinted so did the Draco in the mirror, who was now smiling. Grinning almost, grinning to his eyes in full happiness. There was a figure approaching behind, he turned around to see who it was but no one was there. When he glanced back into the mirror Harry was stood next to him smiling like his refection.

Then Draco noticed they were holding hands. Draco looked down at his real empty hands and longed for Potter to hold it as he did in the mirror. As Draco continued to stare at his reflection he felt tears forming in his eyes as he dropped to his knees, unable to take his eyes off himself - standing there happily with Harry on his arm.

It's not real he thought to himself willing himself to look away, it's not real he repeated in his mind. Finally breaking his trance and looking down at his hands he began to cry, 'it's not real' he whispered again. But then it hit him. It smacked him in the face like a bludger, the reason the room had given him the mirror.

It could be real.