With the Power of God and CHEESE, anything is possible (invader zim x reader??)

God Save the Brie

Dib didn't exactly know what to expect from this "Church of Cheesus," but he somehow expected it would be slightly more remarkable than a small building with two cheese sticks taped to each other to form a 't', which had then been stapled over the doorframe. Dib was even more disappointed to find the inside of the building proved to be just as, if not more, unremarkable.

The high concentration of dust in the air made Dib cough as he walked past the rows of pews, towards the only person he could see in the building. The man appeared to be wearing a long robe, and as Dib got closer he noticed that this person looked quite dashing in his robes. While the dust made everything else in the building look old and dirty, it only seemed to increase the man's charm. The strange, beautiful man smiled, breifly flashing his supernaturally white teeth.

"Hello child," said the incredibly attractive, robed man with another toothy smile, "what brings you here to this Holy place?" He gestured around the room. It was indeed riddled with holes of many kinds, but Dib assumed that wasn't what the man meant when he referred to the room as 'Holy'.

The man's robes were incredibly intricate, embroidered with golden visages of all kinds of Cheeses. He must be of some status here. If anyone was going to give Dib information on this religion (and whether or not it would be useful in thwarting Zim), Dib would bet his money on this guy. "uh," Dib started, pausing to come up with the words, "I was wondering if you could teach me about your 'religion', Mr..."

"You can call me Father Richard, my child," Father Richard smiled again, "I am the Briest of the Church of Cheesus." He clasped his model-like hands, "It brings me so much joy to see the youth seeking the ways of the Lord our Gouda!" He turned around and grabbed a bowl, dipping his thumb into it. "How fortuitous that you should seek us out on Cheeto Tuesday! It is one of our various important holidays!" his face folds into a frown for the briefest of moments, "It's a real shame that you had to come after the service concluded...but it's not too late for you to still participate in the ceremonies!" He removed his thumb from the bowl and smeared his Cheeto dust-covered digit across Dib's forhead. Dib had to keep himself from shuddering as he imagined the bright orange stripe that must reside on his forhead now. It took everything in him to resist wiping it off with his sleeve. It would all be worth it when he found a way to use this against Zim. Dib Forced himself to smile.

The Briest stepped back and admired his work. He smiled even wider than before (how was that possible?), "Now that I have annointed your obnoxiously large forhead with the Dust of our Lord, I expect that you will start attending our services regularly! They are every Tuesday, at eleven AM. I hope to see you there, my child." The gorgeous man turned and began to walk away.

"...but Skool doesn't end until three PM...hey wait!" Dib chased after the man, "I have some questions about your Cheesy ways!" The Breist halted. Dib caught up to him, "like, what are your practices? What does it mean to follow Cheesus? Who or what is Cheesus? Where do you get your information from? Do you have any proof-"

"You said you had questions?" his voice was a whisper, so subtle Dib almost mistook it for the shifting of the dust.

"Well, yeah. That's why I came here."

It happened in less than a blink. The Briest had spun around and was now standing very, very close to Dib. Looming over boy, who now felt very small, the man said "there's no need to ask questions here." He took a step back, and Dib let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. The man continued, "All you need to learn about our religion is what I will tell you in the services: lessons I will interpret from the Chibble, our Holy book made of Swiss Cheese." His smile was stretched even wider now, all of his teeth were visible. "There is no need to question when you can merely absorb. Questions distract from the truth. Questions blind you." The Briest's smile stretched even further, to inhuman proportions. "This is your first lesson from the Chibble: there will be no more questions, boy."