With the Power of God and CHEESE, anything is possible (invader zim x reader??)

God Save Conspiracies

Dib couldn't help but bang his head against his desk.

Despite its show of seemingly magnificent power earlier in the day, the Chibble now lay unmoving and unglowing on his desk, being absolutely useless in every conceivable way.

On his way home from the Church of Cheesus, Dib had crossed paths with Zim, who was walking around the neighborhood with GIR - no doubt planning something nefarious; it was the perfect opportunity to put the Chibble to the test. He ran up to the alien and whapped him in the face with the book. The Chibble was quite a hefty book, so it did manage to knock Zim down, but it wasn't the result  Dib was hoping for. He wanted the alien to be completely and entirely obliterated, just like the Briest had been only minutes prior. But alas, that evil space bug had been merely left squirming on the pavement, clutching his disgusting alien face and screeching  a slew of curses. Completely intact. Completely unobliterated. (Dib had to make a hasty retreat home to avoid Zim's wrath.)

Had the Chibble run out of power? Did it need to recharge? Did it only have enough power to obliterate one person ever? Did aliens not fall under the jurisdiction of the Chibble?

After hours of testing the book with no results, Dib tried leafing through the pages of the Chibble; perhaps the book itself would have the answers. Nope. All its cheesy pages had to offer, with words scrawled in what appeared to be spraycan cheese, were various convoluted stories that seemed to be attempting to convey some kind of equally convoluted moral, all of which were cheese related. There was absolutely nothing about obliteration. Absolutely nothing useful.

Dib sighed in defeat. He didn't seem anywhere close to finding answers. He supposed he could send his report about the Briest to the Swollen Eyeball Network in the meantime. Perhaps they would also have some ideas about unlocking the Chibble's power.

Dib turned on his computer and called the Network. A silhouette with glowing eyes appeared on the screen.

"This is Agent Darkbootie." The figure announced, before he squinted his eyes in annoyance when he saw who called him. "Ugh. Agent Mothman,  What is it this time?" He rubbed his temples, "Are you going to try to convince me that your classmate with the skin condition is an alien again?"

"Zim is an alien!" Dib spat, "But no, that's not why I'm calling this time. I made a huge discovery concerning the Church of Cheesus!"

"The Church of what now-?"

"It's this religious group! Turns out it was being run by some supernatural entity!" Dib recalled the Briest's unnatural smile; his creaking, stretching body; his claws. "I'm not quite sure what it was exactly, but there was no way it was human. He tried to kill me!"

Agent Darkbootie contemplated this. "Interesting. Do you have any evidence?"

"Ah! Well..." Dib's neglect to take any pictures of the Briest's attack was now painfully apparent, "no." Darkbootie frowned. "B-But I can tell you! He had these claws! And moved in unnatural ways! And-"

"It doesn't matter what you think you saw," Darkbootie snapped. "This organization runs off of evidence and evidence alone. If you do not have evidence, we cannot take your claims seriously, Agent Mothman. For all we know he could have been an eccentric, old, but still very human, religious cult leader."

"He tried to kill me!"

 "This proves nothing, Mothman! A human could have also tried to kill you. If you want us to believe that he is, in fact, a supernatural entity, you must provide evidence."

Dib swallowed. "Ah, well you see," a nervous laugh, "that's kind of impossible now."

"What do you mean it's impossible?"