Cast The Die

Chapter Five

April 2019

My head feels like it's about to explode, my brain feels like it is swollen inside my skull. I'm trying to open my eyes, but they don't want to. They don't want to see what is about to happen. I feel my body being lifted and placed onto something soft, the sofa. I've opened one eye to see my Dad looking over me.

"Macey, can you hear me? Macey I'm so sorry" I hear Mum crying.

"Mum..." I've found my voice. My eyes are open, and I try to pull myself up. "What happened?"

"You passed out, Moo. I'm sorry it's all my fault. There was no easy way to say it" Mum started crying, sobbing actually.

And just like that, it all came flooding back. My parents are splitting up, they don't love each other anymore and more importantly, it is not my fault. Why would it be my fault anyway? Why would she even say that it isn't my fault like I would have thought it was? It just makes me feel like it is my fault, but they don't want me to feel guilty about it. I don't feel guilty about anything. I feel numb. I want to cry but my eyes are bone dry. I want to scream but my throat is still on fire. I start to think about the Whiskey again, how nice it would feel to take a sip of the burning liquor. Would the burning take away my thoughts? Would it make this all go away?

"Okay." I said. I wanted to say so much more but I couldn't. I wanted to ask why they don't love each other anymore. Has someone had an affair? Have they both had affairs? But I don't have the energy to say anything else. I stand up and walk towards the stairs, leaving my crying Mum sat on the sofa.

"Macey, are you okay? My concerned Dad asked.

"Yeah, fine. I understand" I said convincingly. I certainly do not understand. I don't understand any of this. How could they do this? Can't they just pretend they love each other for my sake? I know how selfish that thought is, so I take it back. I'm so angry, I'm sad, I'm confused.

"We love you. So much." He said.

"Love you too." I replied.