✔︎ fallen ; my inner demons

28 ✯ caress

❝Word by word she caresses next with her words while I caress her head beneath my chin.❞

"Is Ava going to kill us now, Y/N? If we hadn't caused you to go on that food rampage we wouldn't have gotten kicked out." Noi said.

"No, it's my fault." I said, scratching the back of my head.

"Boys!" Ava yelled.

Everyone turned to Ava, who had a happy smile on her face. It slightly melted my heart, seeing her sweet smile in action.

"You guys were so awesome! You guys were on such good behavior!" Ava yelled, pumping her fist in the air.

I felt a blush rush over my face.

"No offense, Y/N. But I love you! You efficiently got the day out canceled! I didn't want to go out at all." Ava said, running over to hug me.

I wrapped my arms around her as well. But somewhere in my mind, I knew that I was the cause of her having to go out in the first place. Did I really deserve her appreciation?

"Princess Ava?" Asch asked.

Ava and I turned towards him, her arm still around my shoulder.

"Let's talk about marriage." Asch demanded.

Ava's face reddened as she seemed to be deep in thought. Then she let go of my embrace. And she rushed up to Asch, before pressing her lips to his cheek. She did the same to every daemos in the room, then she ran back to her bedroom door.

"That should keep them occupied for another day. See ya!" She called, slamming the door in my face.

I couldn't comprehend what has just happened. And by the looks on the boys' faces, they couldn't either. Ava... just kissed the boys. On the cheek, sure. But she still did. And I'm sure it meant the same to them regardless. Everyone was frozen, and had these spreading blushes all over their faces.

It was so awkward. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. No one wanted to be the first to react. It would mean for awkwardness times 100. And of course, Noi was the first to react.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Noi screamed.

I physically winced at that. My poor ears.

"SHE CARESSED ME!!!!! PRINCESS AVA DID IT!!!" Noi squealed over excitedly.

He started jumping around the living room crazily. I was... I felt weird. I couldn't really feel anything in the moment. But when the moment passed... I felt a huge sense of bitterness and hate going my way. It was like someone had stabbed me in the chest.

And that someone was Ava. The bitterness seemed to creep up my throat, engulfing me, making me want to vomit all the popcorn I'd eaten that day out onto the floor. I held it in, but at the cost of the strength in my legs. I crumpled to the floor, my hair hanging around my face. I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch something. And I wanted to go kill someone.

But I watched as Leif rushed to my side before I could do anything.

"Y/N, are you okay?" He asked.

His face was still dusted with that blush though. And it made me loathe what had just happened. I cupped his cheek in my hand as I stared at the floor. Then I tipped my head towards his, our foreheads touching. I was leaning on him. Sitting still, letting me release my emotions. And in the moment, Noi was still in fanboy mode.

How depressing. Asch was standing above me, his face redder than I'd ever seen. I was about to laugh at me when I felt my words get stuck in my throat. Rhys' face was even redder than Asch's.

Then a wave of guilt rushed over me. I was a complete idiot. I'm blaming Ava for all the stupidity I'd caused. I'm blaming her for things she doesn't even know about. What kind of friend am I? A horrible one, plainly. A horrible, horrible friend.

I'm the problem. I've always been the problem. Because I always need the help of others to do things. It's stupid. Stupid, stupid Y/N. Always stupid.

I don't know why I even think I deserve to mess up Ava's chances with boys. And thinking that I deserve any of them at all? To be in their presence? Maybe Asch was right.

I'm sure Asch would automatically say being in his presence should make me honored. Of course. The big idiot. But at least he's not as big of an idiot as me.

"Princess, are you okay?" Leif asked.

Oh yeah. I was still leaning on him. I subconsciously wrapped my arms around him. I buried my face in the soft material of his human shirt. He wrapped his arms around me the same way. I felt tears pricking up at the corners of my eyes.

They started crawling out of the sockets of my eyes, running down the sides of my face. And I let myself cry. I felt guilty that Leif had to feel this, and that the others had to witness my meltdown, and it was awkward, seeing as the room was quiet, with only my sharp breaths breaking the deathly silence.

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I just rewatched my inner demons today! It's such a heart stabber every time. Thank you guys for 21K btw! If you guys have any ideas for a special episode or something just leave a comment! Love you guys!
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edit = 15.07.2021
wc = 920 words
im being active altho i have a lot of schoolwork to do lol :>