Suffocating Silence | Kiribaku

I Dont Exist / Bakugou

TW
Panic Attack

Kirishima takes my arm and leads me to his room. I'll be back in a minute. You can stay in here or do whatever, just what makes you comfortable.

I'll stay here.

Ok, be right back.

I sit on the edge of the bed. The ringing has dulled, but still plays lowly in my mind. I don't know if I'll ever get used to not hearing my own footsteps.

It shouldn't be hard to walk, but I feel like I'm going to trip. That's why I've been holding onto Kirishima. He's giving me the foundation I need to feel sturdy, in more ways than one.

Then it occurs to me, it's like before. Sometimes, when I had in my hearing aids, I couldn't hear myself breathing. I can't hear myself breathing.

I feel my chest grow and shrink more rapidly. My hands clutch the bedding beside me. I feel myself breathing heavily, but there's nothing.

Silence.

Kiri? Come back. I can't. I can't breathe-

I feel tears roll down my face, I want to scream. It feels like I'm suffocating.

I won't be able to hear myself, and I don't want to sound stupid but I need him. I need him right freaking now.

"K-iri!" my words are broken, but I don't realize. Please hear me.

Weak.

Weak.

Weak.

Less than 31.42 seconds later a red head ran into the doorway. He wears grey sweatpants, his hair down, lightly grazing his shoulders. Kirishima quickly signs to me, his face covered with worry. What?! What happened, are you ok?!

"C-me -ere," letters I was sure I formed didn't exist. My words probably don't make sense, but I'm shaking too hard to sign.

Kirishima enters quickly, closing the door behind him. He wastes no time getting to me, those protective arms of his wrap around me.

I'm shaking. I'm such a stupid weakling. Be a man, Katsuki!

I can't.

I can't.

No matter how hard I try.

I can't.

A dig my head into Eijirou's shoulder, and I feel my shoulders move with each sob.

It's so odd to be in so much mental pain, and you can't even hear yourself sobbing so hard your head hurts. It feels like I don't exist.

I move my hands off of the bedding to the red head's bare back and feel up and down with my scarred palms. I'm real. I'm real.

I'm real.

I feel vibrations radiate through Kirishima's back. He's talking?

I pull back, gripping onto his shoulders. I want to hear your voice.

He mouths something to me, but I don't understand. One of his hands moves to cup my cheek, and a thumb wipes away one of my fallen tears.

I close my eyes and lean into his palm. He makes me feel safe. I don't have to act strong around him. He won't make fun of me.

"Ei," I can say that, I'm sure I can.

He smiles at me for a brief moment, but then pulls his hand away. Come here, feel the rhythm in my chest, just breathe.

I watch as Kirishima moves to sit against the headboard. He reaches to the side and grabs a shirt and a red hoodie. He slips on the t-shirt and hands me the hoodie. Then the red head proceeds to pat the bed beside him.

I graciously accept it, and move to sit beside him. My body still not completely stable. The quiet makes me extremely hyper aware of every single sensation.

When I'm sitting next to him our legs touch, an adrenaline surge distracts my mind from the terrifying thoughts of earlier.

Kiri rests his hand on top of my leg, he lightly drums his fingers. I'm, once again, grateful for the distraction. It reminds me he's there.

My mind wanders for what seems like minutes, but before I know it my eyelids are fluttering shut.

A/N
Most of this chapter taken out of context sounds really inappropriaTE whOoPs. Hehehehehehehehehe. Thanks for all the support everyone!