Enzo |Complete|

[12] Talks

It's taken me much longer than it should have to open up to someone and finally speak my truth, but up until this point I never really had to. My parents and brother have been worried about what's been happening in my life for months now, but they've never dug deep enough to make me break and tell them. The thought of Enzo leaving and the two of us becoming nothing but strangers broke my heart, and I knew I had to tell him before I lose him. 

"You okay?" Enzo questions as he parks the car at the top of the lookout. 

I look over at him and give him a small smile "Yeah I'm fine." I take a deep breath "You sure you're ready to hear all of this?" 

"If you're ready to tell me, yes" He nods 

"I guess I'll just start at the beginning then." I take another deep breath before starting. "A friend of mine came to town for a few weeks and it was so great having her here, she hung out with Charlotte, Ellen and I and we used to go out drinking, dancing, you know the usual things. On a night out a few months back this friend of mine and I had two older guys approach us at the bar, we got talking and they bought us drinks and one of them, the one who is now the boyfriend of my friend offered us a pill, I was worried at first, but my friend convinced me to live a little, so I did. We took the pills and we ended up going home with the guys that night, which I'm not proud of by the way." I look up at him 

"I'm not here to judge you il mio amore, go on" He offers a small smile 

"Things moved pretty quickly from there and it wasn't long before I was in a relationship with Mikey, and my friend was in a relationship with Billy, they have a house out in the middle of nowhere and that's where we'd all hang out together and do drugs, that was why you found me out in the middle of nowhere the night you came back to town." I shake my head still so disappointed in my actions. 

"One day I got to wondering how the boys always have so many different types of drugs on them so I asked Mikey, he said surely I couldn't be that silly, that he and Billy are dealers and have been since the night we met them. At first, I freaked out, and I know that sounds silly but I did, but my friend reminded me what my family does for a living and said that if I was to judge them, I'd be judging my entire family. 

"I listened to her and I kept seeing him, I thought I loved him, I was off my face most of the time so what would I know." I laugh softly shaking my head "When Charlotte and Elle found out what I'd been doing and that my boyfriend was a small-time drug dealer they advised me I should stop seeing them that it wasn't going to end well, but drunk and high I went off on them and told them they have no place to judge me when their fathers are dealers as well, and Charlotte her boyfriend is a drug dealer as well so what's the difference."

"After our big fight we didn't have anything more to do with each other, they said they couldn't stand to watch the person I'm becoming and told them they were bitches, which I'm also not proud of."

"Mia" He takes my hand "You don't need to justify yourself to me"

I smile down at our hands and nod my head as I look back at him. "After that things got worse, I would leave home and not come home for weeks, I'd sleep in the house with Mikey and we'd do all kinds of drugs in the form of pills and Marijuana, but I'd never touched Cocaine, not until the night you found me, that was the first time." 

"Mikey and I were extremely sexually active, and most of the time I was the one who initiated it, but the more we got into pills and the longer we were together the worse things became. He'd get me so high that I couldn't remember my own name and then he'd take me to bed, If I told him I didn't want to, he'd say what do you mean baby, you just asked me to bring you in here, you wanted this, and from there we'd, of course, have sex, or rather he'd have sex with me, I just laid there." 

"It got worse from there, he started trying out new things with me and most of the time I didn't want to, but he told me that I'd said I wanted to and he'd feed me things I'd said and it sounded like something I would say, so I just could never be sure."

"So he raped you is what you're saying?"

"Well no, I don't think so, I- I don't know, I can't be sure that didn't tell him I wanted it, and he was my boyfriend so," 

"So nothing, if you were not able to consent and you said no it means no Mia, boyfriend or not he raped you." He shakes his head, frowning and a look on his face as if he's in pain. "Even if you were on the lounge and you told him to take you to bed and by the time you get in there you change your mind that still means no Mia, you're allowed to change your mind." He sighs 

"C- can I please continue on before I change my mind?" I ask softly 

"Yes, sorry baby go on."

"What broke me and ended our relationship was the night he invited one of the boys into bed with us, he told me that I'd consent to have a threesome, that I wanted Mikey and his friend at the same time, but this time I wasn't as high as I'd been acting, I didn't want to keep being fed pills, so I acted as if I was really, really out of it when I wasn't. I told him that I'd never said that and I didn't want to sleep with his friend and never would and that this time he hadn't got me high enough to go along with it."

"That, of course, made his friend extremely angry, and because he was angry, Mikey got angry, so he sent his friend out of the room and he, he beat me." I take a deep breath "I was in such a bad way that I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror, no amount of make-up was going to cover it, so that when I went missing for two weeks, I was recovering myself in a hotel back in the nice part of town" 

"Once I was all healed I was still hanging out with the group but I refused to see Mikey, I didn't see him again until the night you found me, the night I sniffed coke for the very first time, not my proudest moment." I sigh "But I don't want that life Enz, I don't want to see him anymore, I don't want to hang out with them anymore, I want my friend out of there and I was to move on."

"Mia" Enzo sighs and places his hand on my cheek, stroking it gently "First of all, I'm so glad that nothing happened with him and his friend and they didn't get to take advantage of you as they had planned to and secondly I am so, so, sorry that you went through all of that on your own. Why didn't you tell someone?" 

"Because I thought that it was my fault, that my parents would judge me for being with him in the fist place." 

"You know that they would never do that Mia, they love you so much."

"I know that now that my mind is clear and eventually I will tell them, but not right now Enz, I just want to keep this between us." 

"I'm not going to tell anyone, your story is your story to tell, but I'm glad that you opened up to me, and I hope it's made you feel a little better." 

"It has." I nod my head "Thank you for listening to me." 

"I'm always going to be here for you Mia, I care about you more then you know."

"Can I kiss you?" I ask him

"That depends, can I kiss you back?" he grins 

I climb over to the driver's seat and straddle him, he places his hand on my cheek once more and I take in his beautiful face for a moment, I then lean down and press my lips to his, kissing him sweetly. "Thank-you," I tell him again

"Always" He smiles and places his hand on my chin, then pulls my lips back to his kisses me once more.