Love In My Terms

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I was playing Truth and Dare,

My friends were idiots

The bottle landed on me and I chose truth

Because I was curious.


These people knew all about me

I wondered what they wanted to know

So instead of going with my daredevil self

I chose 'Truth', giving them quite a blow


The girl who asked chuckled nervously

She hadn't prepared a question

She told me she was sure I'd want a dare

So she was shocked by my decision


I laughed at that and told her to take her time.

The sound of the Air Conditioner the only disturbance.

She furrowed her brows, thinking hard.

My mind was unable to take in the suspense.


She looked at me and smirked

I knew it was a question I wouldn't want to answer

I braced myself for the unexpected.

Hoping it wasn't a question I would regret answering later.


'What do you think is love, Zaina?'

She asked with a smile

The rest of us gasped and laughed

The question was a rebellious one, at least for our modest lifestyle.


I removed the pin from my hijab

Unravelling the black headdress

I tied it again

Trying to focus.


'Love for me, I guess'

I began to say.

'Is the warm feeling you get when you get full marks

In a test for which you studied for days.


'It is the first sip of cold water

After playing out in the sun all day.

When you feel sick from the dehydration

And the water drives the dizziness away.


'It is the feeling of absolute relief

After a scary presentation

When you collapse into your chair, glad it's done.'

They all stared at me in confusion.


I racked my brain to make it easier to understand.

And came up with more.

'It's when you're not afraid to show your weirdness

To them, because you know you're secure.


It's when you cry for hours on end

And they hold you in their arms

And when they're down

You'd never let them out of your arms


When the thought of losing them places a lump in your throat

And a weight on your chest

When their smile is something you'd die for

And in the crowd of their fans, you cheer loudest

"This," I continued.

"Is love to me,

And it may be different

From all the stories we read."


An awkward silence filled the room.
And then, we burst out laughing.
We continued our game, and I wondered
If a queen like me, could ever find a king.

—————————————————————————————————————————————Surprise! I'm not dead! Hehe
A lot has been going on, with the pseudo-lockdown my parents imposed on my sisters and I, online classes, online tests, etc, etc.

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