Strong For Too Long Trilogy ✔️

15. She Never Really Loved Me

CHAPTER 15: She Never Really Loved Me
(Aaron's POV)

'-I knew enough detail to blackmail him into backing off of me...but then he confessed to falling for me. I wish he hadn't. When I first met Aaron Westlake, I knew he was an experienced combat fighter, high grades, both academically and in the field, but he only needed to look at me, or most of the time, glare at me, and I knew.

He was intimidated, an animal so use to being on a podium that when he met me, he saw a challenge, neither of us knew who was the predator and who was the prey. He didn't understand that I wasn't challenging him, I wasn't even trying to get to know him because I knew that if I did, I would fall. He's the kind of protective man almost anyone could fall for. I couldn't do that, it wasn't because of him though. I just couldn't let myself fall when I know, deep down, the ending of my life will be much like my beginning.

An abandoned child left on the doorstep of a dangerous door, owned by an equally dangerous man. How could I explain this to Aaron? I'm not falling in love because...I know in the end, breaking his heart will be inevitable.

Aaron Westlake was the epitome of a mysterious gentleman. perhaps not at the beginning, but he was stubborn, adamant and dangerous. Was? Hell, he still is.'

I squeeze my eyes closed, Tobias standing on the mats below me with Agent Meira and Agent Aidan training him, strengthening himself back to his originally healthy and functional state while I leaned on the railing from the level above with her diary in my fingers and my heart heavy as I read what she thought of me. For months I wanted to get into the woman's beautiful, blonde head and search for the feelings I was certain she had for me.

That was the consequence of being in another's mind.

'I didn't understand at first, the email he sent me wasn't exactly subtle in the fact I'd bested him in the one mission they were hesitant in doing, because it was for Pierce and it was more than obvious Aaron despised him, I didn't understand why, because Pierce didn't murder his parents. Aaron has held a long-filled resentment to Pierce, one he doesn't understand and I don't believe he ever will, because Pierce won't tell him the truth and I know it isn't my place to either.

That is why, I must say it in here, for if I know what is to come, I know I won't get the chance later. Pierce was in love with Cassandra Crane, who was falsely accused of ridding Aaron's parents of their so-called American affiliations, when deep down...that wasn't true. Pierce wasn't exactly open with Aaron's Father, or even his Mother. He wasn't the force that drove Aaron's family away and I wish Aaron would see that. His hatred runs deep in thinking I need protection from Pierce, when he was so very wrong. Orrin Kingston isn't the threat either, he was like a Father to me.'

Reading her thoughts on paper when I would have sat her down and talked. Communicated with the most closed off specimen that took my heart into her pale, porcelain fingers. The same fingers that could strangle my source of air, ridicule my mind of illusion and want, desire and a penetration that clung onto me so deeply.

I was still tied down to her, even while her ashes have gone cold and the grave I can't return to because if I do, I'll lose everything all over again for the longer I reach for her. The worse it'll be for me when I kneel at her grave and end my own life just to join hers. I have gotten close to, many times.

Samsara still hides all alcohol from me, but she can't remove the scars I recreate every day, every time I send my fists sprawling at a new punching bag until my blood consumes me and not Olive's. Remembering her blood on my hands was the lingering aftermath of being with her when she died.

"Why do you continue to haunt yourself with her? She was beautiful, I'll admit that, but she's eating at you, even from the grave, Westlake." Agent Soren stands there on the side of me, wearing a suit, black tie and a navy blue button-up with ironed black trousers and dark brown leather shoes that shined against the white lights above us.