A Lifetime With You

Baby Blues

Joe's POV
Last night was rough. Avery was up every hour and a half, either to be fed or changed. Taylor was still asleep so I quietly snuck out of the room, careful not to wake her or the baby. I wanted to make her some breakfast. I decided on some pancakes and bacon. After it was done, I placed the plate on a tray along with a glass of milk and a fork. I took it upstairs and when I opened the door, she was nursing Avery. She smiled at me, obviously still very tired. "For me? Thanks baby. It smells amazing." she says. "I hope it tastes amazing. I'll cut your pancakes for you." I cut her pancakes and poured syrup on them. "Ouch." she says. "Honey, it's not too late to switch her to formula ya know?" She frowned at the idea. "No. I'm gonna do this. It'll get better. The nurse even said so." She was very committed, that's what I love most about her.

1 PM
Taylor's POV
I was in the middle of feeding the baby, something I find myself doing ALL THE TIME now, when there was a knock on the door. I knew it wasn't Joe because he would usually just come in. "Who is it?"
"It's me." I recognized the voice. "Come in!" Tree walked into the bedroom. She sat next to me. "How are you feeling, sweetie?" she asks me. "Everything hurts and I'm tired. She's so perfect though." She smiled. "Joe left to go get your medicine. He wanted me to let you know." she said. I nod. "How was the birth?" she asked. "It went well actually. It was a little longer than I expected, but she came out healthy. It was the most rewarding yet hardest thing I've ever done. She's my pride and joy." I say, looking down at her while she nursed. "She's beautiful." Tree said. "Thank you. She's almost done so you can hold her afterwards." "I do have to bring up some stuff. It's ok if you say no. You just had a baby and you're exhausted so don't feel like you HAVE to do it. The options are on the table though. I've got several photographers coming to me saying they want to take her newborn pictures." Tree said. "We've got one picked out already." I say. "Awesome. Next thing, Cosmopolitan magazine wants you to do a sit-down interview in 2 weeks." Tree said. "Yeah, ok. I'll do it." "Ok. Next thing, People magazine wants to come and do a little mini-shoot for their "meet my baby" section of the magazine. They want you and Joe to be in the pictures as well." She said. "I'm gonna have to pass on that one. We'll introduce her to the world when we're ready. We wanna be the ones to do that." I respond. "Totally understandable. Final thing, outfit fittings for the tour are supposed to start in two weeks. Clearly that won't work. Your body is gonna change a lot between then and the time tour starts. When would you like to reschedule for?" Tree asks. "Shit. This is all so fucking stressful. I think Im gonna have to reschedule tour. It's supposed to start when she's 5 months old. There's no way my body will be done changing and no way the dancers and I can learn the choreography by then. I just don't wanna upset my fans" I didn't want to start crying, but I did. "It's ok. You know what? We won't even think about it right now ok? I'll get the rest of the team together and we'll get a plan together. Baby, the fans will understand. If they're loyal, they'll understand. You just worry about yourself and this little princess right here. You're so strong. I know it may not seem like it right now because you feel awful, but you are awesome. Your body just did an incredible thing. And it's still doing an incredible thing by nourishing her tiny little body. That's totally badass." she said. She was always so good at pep talks and cheering me up. She wiped my tears. "Can I get a smile?" she asked. I smile at her. "Gorgeous." she said. Avery finished nursing and I hand her over to Tree. "Oh my goodness, she's so tiny! It's like holding a feather." I nod. Right about that time, Joe came in with my medicine, some roses, my favorite smoothie from jamba juice, and a present. "You're gonna make me cry." I felt myself getting ready to cry again.

Joe's POV
Tree is sitting in the chair in our room, holding Avery. "Hormones" she mouths to me. I rub Taylor's back and she stops crying until she opens the box. It's a necklace with Avery's name, weight, and birth stone. "I love it" she said, starting to cry yet again. I kiss her head. There was a knock on the door again. "Hey, Tay. It's dad." I open the door for Scott and he comes in. "Hello, my love" he says, hugging Taylor. "Hi, Joe." He gave me a hug. "Hi, Tree." She gets up. "You ready to meet your granddaughter?" Tree asks him. He nods and she places Avery in his arms. He kissed her head. He turns away from us and starts to talk to her. "Dad, are you crying?" Taylor asks. He shakes his head. "You look just like your mommy did when she was first born, only you are a lot tinier than she was" we overheard Scott say. He turned around and we saw that he had been crying. He stayed for about an hour and cuddled Avery until she got hungry again. "Bye, sweetie. Remember what I said. You're a badass. You guys let me know if I can get y'all anything. I'll be back sometime this week. I'll text you." Tree said telling us bye. Scott hugged us and left. I lied down on the bed next to Taylor as she fed Avery. I was watching TV and then the next thing I remember is Taylor yelling at me to wake up. I woke up. "Since she's done, can I go shower now?" she asks me. "Yeah, of course." She handed Avery to me and carefully got out of bed and walked to the closet to get out some pajama pants and a nursing tank top. "Let me know if you need any help." I say. She nodded. She got undressed, everything but her adult diaper that she had to wear for the bleeding, and I watched her look at her new body. She still had a little bit of a bump, but it has gone down for the most part. I saw her truly struggling to keep it together. The last time someone told her she looked pregnant when she wasn't, she ended up going through an eating disorder. It's different this time considering she just had our daughter 2 days ago, but I didn't want her to think horrible thoughts about herself. I kiss Avery's head and lie her in the bassinet. I go into the bathroom. "Hey, look at me. You are beautiful. You are so damn perfect. That will go away in no time. Look at you. You're 2 days postpartum. That's impressive. You know what this body is proof of? She's right over there in her bassinet. You did that. You gave her life. It kills me that you think negatively about yourself, especially now." I wrap her in a hug and she cries into my chest. "Shhhh. What's wrong baby? Talk to me. You've barely been keeping it together since we came home from the hospital. It's not good to hold all of this in." She cried even harder. "Let it all out." I hugged her tighter just to ensure her that everything was going to be ok, but quickly realized I was hurting her sore body. "Joe...Am I...A good mom?" she asked, looking up at me with blood shot eyes. "The fuckin best! We're only two days in and I can see the love you have for her. Never doubt the fact that you're a great mom." I say. "What if my belly doesn't go back down? You won't ever have sex with me again will you?" she says. "It will. Even if it didn't, I wouldn't love you any less. I'd still think you're beautiful regardless. Of course I'd still have sex with you. We've still got 6 weeks before we can even think about that though." I wipe her tears. I kiss her forehead. "I'll tell you what. After you take a shower, pump some milk and I'll watch after her so you can get some sleep." She started crying again. "I don't deserve you." I wrapped her in a hug again. I kissed her head. After she was done, I held the sides of her face and planted a long, passionate kiss on her lips. I wiped her tears and told her to take a shower. She took her adult diaper off and got in the shower.

Taylor's POV
I washed my hair and my body so I could just relax under the hot water. Everything started spinning and I was certain that it's because I'm tired. I sat down in the shower and let the hot water run over my body. I placed my hands over my breasts because the hot water was just irritating my nipples even more. I watch as a stream of blood flowed out of me and down the drain. She really did a number on my body, but she's so worth it. She's my greatest accomplishment in life. My hormones are through the roof right now and I find myself crying at EVERYTHING. I start crying again, but it's because I'm so happy. Joe frantically came into the bathroom. "What's wrong baby?" he asked. "Just so happy. And tired." He sat with me for a few minutes. "Do you need help getting up?" he asks. "Just a little longer." I sit there for about 5 minutes more and I call for him to come help me out. He helps me up and I step out of the tub and he dries me off and helps me get dressed. I put on an adult diaper. It sucks, but it's the only thing I can wear and it be comfortable. Over that I put on some sweatpants and I also put on a tank top. I get in bed and I start pumping and Joe sits next to me to keep me company. I takes me about 30 minutes to pump two full bottles, which is equivalent to 4 feedings because she only eats half. After I pump I apply some nipple cream because they're extremely sore. "Wait, before you go downstairs, I need to get some kisses." He places Avery in my arms and I kiss her head several times before handing her back. He gives me a kiss and makes sure I'm comfortable before closing our blinds and curtains. He kisses my head and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.

11 PM
Joe's POV
I was lying on the couch with Avery curled up on my chest. I'm starting to get hungry and I look up at the time. I get up from the couch and go upstairs and see Taylor starting to wake up. I turned on the lamp. She smiled at me. "How you feeling?" I ask her. "Much more rested. Thank you for letting me sleep. I'm starving and my boobs hurt though. Is she due for a feeding soon?" she asks. "No. She ate not too long ago. What would you like to eat? I'm pretty hungry too." She thinks about it. "Literally anything. I'm just hungry." She sat up in bed and there were milk stains all over her shirt. "Great." she said. She changed shirts and we went downstairs. She pumped while I made us some dinner.

Taylor's POV
I'm wide awake now. Joe really is the husband of my dreams. I'm sitting on the couch snuggling my tiny bundle of joy, soaking in these moments. Joe came into the living room with some dinner for me. He sat next to me and we ate. I lied Avery down next to me while we ate. In the middle of eating, she started crying. "What's wrong baby?" I tried to calm her, but she wouldn't calm down. "Are you hungry? I just pumped so I don't know how much is left in there. Might have to feed you a bottle." I held her and unclasped my tank top strap so I could nurse her. She latched on and started eating. "Ouch. It's like toe curling pain." Avery started getting irritated. "Let's try the other side." She did the same thing to my other breast. "Babe, you wanna do me a big favor? Can you go make a bottle with the milk I just put in the fridge?" He nodded. He poured half a bag of milk into a bottle and put the top on it and brought it to me. She started chugging it down. "She's such a good baby" Joe said. "She is. We got really lucky." We watched TV for a little while longer before Joe got up to go clean the kitchen. After he finished, we went upstairs to our room. Olivia, Benji, and Meredith were all passed out on our bed. "Come on babies. Go to your beds." They didn't bother getting up so we put them in their beds, which were in our room as well. Avery was fast asleep in her bassinet on Joe's side of the bed. We put it on his side that way it's easier for him to pass her to me during the night time feedings. I'm freezing so I snuggle up next to him and he cuddles with me and I fall asleep once I get warm. This is the life I never knew I needed, but I'm so grateful I have it.

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