A Lifetime With You

Where Do We Go From Here?

EXPLICIT MATURE CONTENT AHEAD

(skip ahead 6 weeks)
Taylor's POV
Today is my 6 week postpartum doctors appointment. Joe is in London filming so I've been home with the kids for 2 weeks now by myself. My mom has been helping me a lot. I don't know what I'd do without her. I put the kids in the car and drive myself to the doctors office and enter through the secret entrance just in case. I get called back immediately because I was the only one waiting. "Hello!!! You brought the babies!" my doctor said, peeking in the stroller, where they were both thankfully passed out. "Yeah. Dad's in London filming so I've been home with them for two weeks." I said. "Awww. Let's talk. How's postpartum this time around? Same? Different?" she asked. "It feels exactly the same, only this time, I'm making a thousand times more milk it feels like. I'm constantly having to pump and I have to change my breast pads every two hours because I leak so much. I'm overproducing, which isn't a bad thing because I'm glad he's getting enough, but at the same time, it's stressful remembering that I have to change the pads because if not, I will start leaking all over my shirt. I'm no longer bleeding, that stopped like a week ago. My hormones are still insane. I'll feel extremely happy one minute and the next, I feel so down and sad for no reason. I think a little of it might have to do with my body. I just...I'm having a hard time processing it. Like, I've lost most of my belly, but there's still a little bit there and this morning when I got up, I noticed I have stretch marks on my inner thighs. They're not dark thank goodness, but still, it's hard for me to see them especially when I use to struggle with my body and had the eating disorder. I'm so ready to have sex again if you clear me to do so, but I'm not comfortable when I look in the mirror so I know Joe has to feel the same way." I said. "Honey, your husband loves you. He loves everything about you, trust me. You are perfect to him. He adores you. Besides, those stretch marks are just proof you're a badass. You are a gorgeous human and it's gonna take time, but you'll learn to love your body because it made you a mommy and I know you love your babies." she said. She left the room so I could change into the gown she provided. "Alright, I'm gonna do a quick look down here just to make sure everything is healed and then you'll be good to go." she said. I nodded. She examined me and told me everything was healed and I could start exercising and getting back to my normal routine again. I left the appointment and went home. By the time I got home, both kids were screaming but my mom was at the house so she can tend to Avery while I feed Elijah. I got both of them out of the car and went inside. My mom put Avery in her high chair and started feeding her baby food and I sat on the couch and started nursing Elijah. Avery finished eating and I was still feeding Elijah so my mom came to sit with me. "What did the doctor say?" she asked. "She said I'm completely healed and everything looks great. I talked to her about my insecurities and what not." I said. "What insecurities, honey?" my mom asked. "I've still got some baby weight to lose and this morning when I woke up and went pee, I noticed I've got stretch marks on my inner thighs and a few on my hips." I said. "Be proud of them, Taylor. They are beautiful and so are you. You're a mom and that just proves it." she said. Elijah fell asleep while eating so I unlatched him and burped him. "He smells so good. Something about that new baby smell..." I said. "Can I give him some love?" my mom asked. "Of course!" I said. I passed him over to her. "I can't believe how tiny he still is." she said. "Right! It's crazy. I don't know how. He eats alllll the time." I said. "He's been so used to the boob by now, he's not gonna want a bottle anymore whenever Joe comes home and helps with feedings." my mom said. "Yeah. He's always preferred the boob more anyway. Most of the times, getting him to take a bottle is a hassle." I said. "I can't wait for Joe to come home. I miss him." I said. "Mhm. I think we both know the real reason you want him to come home. But please, for the love of god, use a condom this time. Are you back on birth control?" she asked me. "Yes, mother I am. Not that it matters since I'm a grown woman. We will most definitely use a condom and the birth control because I'm not getting pregnant again for a really long time." I said. She glared at me. "I got the little thing that goes in my arm because I knew if I got the pills again, I'd skip a day or something." I said. She snuggled the baby a little while longer before she left.