In Case ✔️

10 | Trying

Lisa | 10

"Why does me being jealous sound ridiculous?"

My eyes suddenly widened at that. She was so close. The heat of her body was radiating off of her and surrounding me, along with the scent that still drove me crazy. My mind was racing but my heart was racing even faster. Her hand on my hip was slowly gripping tightly as her eyes continued to scan my face with a look that caused my mind to grow hazy.

I was in a trance.

I stared at the eyes that were staring at every detail on my face and watched a twinkle appear the moment the heat in my cheeks appeared, showing off a pink tint in my skin. My heart was pounding so harshly that I was afraid she could hear it. This feeling was paralyzing. I couldn't utter a single word. But, I knew I needed to.

"Shouldn't it be?" I asked a little too breathlessly. It came out weak and in a slight whisper. I watched Irene stare straight into my lips the moment I spoke. Her breathing grew heavier with the way my cool breath hit her lips. It was unintentional.

I think.

"It should, but why am I?" She asked just as quietly as me, "Why do I keep feeling this way whenever someone else has your attention?" She asked herself, voice turning into a sneer. My knees desperately wanted to buckle.

My eyes wouldn't, no, couldn't remove themselves away from her lips. They tingled in need. My lips yearned to taste and feel her soft lips again. How badly I wanted to just lose all my control and take what's mine, but then I remembered, what was meant to be mine, was already taken.

And that woke me up.

As if a switch turned on, I closed my eyes tightly and breathed in deeply,

"Stop it," I said. And when I opened my eyes, Irene was suddenly looking at me with concern written all over her delicate features. Every line, every curve was so perfect and all I wanted was to have this perfection, but I couldn't. I couldn't risk another heart ache. Not again.

"This is wrong Irene and you know it," I whispered, removing her hands off of my hips and placing it back to her sides, "You can't do this to me again," I croaked out, forcing my eyes down to the floor and removing my hold from her soft hands that I wished I could hold forever.

I'm here. I'm facing the truth. I have never moved on from this woman.

Pathetic.

"Lisa, I'm sorry," she whispered.

No.

"I should've never done that," she said with a groan of annoyance. The annoyance wasn't towards me, that much I was sure of. But I was also feeling extremely annoyed,

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," I looked up back to the eyes that I could never forget and watched the guilt grow in her expression.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like, when I saw you again all these weird feelings grew and I just don't understand them," she said, backing away and brushing her fingers through her hair in frustration. I couldn't help but sharpen my gaze,

"I don't get you Irene. You broke up with me, you stopped loving me, you LEFT me!" My time was getting stronger but my heart was feeling weaker and my tears wanted to leave and show her the pain she caused me. "But, here you are confusing the hell out of me and acting like you actually want me again!"

Irene winced and stared up at me with so much pain and guilt. It was like every truth I spoke out was like a bullet to her chest.

"Even when we were together, you never made sense. I understood you were never good with your words but, damn it Irene," I paused and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, "I was so damn in love with you that I didn't care if you rarely told me you loved me back."