Prince next door (Prinxiety au)

Chapter 19

"Are you absolutely sure?" Virgil asks his boyfriend for the tenth time that day.
"Yes, Virge, I'm absolutely sure. I'm not going to let you go alone to your grandma's funeral." Roman reacts as he packs his backpack already.
"I- I still don't really feel anything." Virgil admits softly. Looking down at his feet. He feels so cold. Like he doesn't have a heart. Roman stops what he's doing and turns around to tilt the younger man's chin up so he'd look at him.
"It's okay if you don't." Roman assures him before pecking his lips softly.
"It feels wrong." Virgil sighs. He may have not had a bond with her, but it's still a human life that's gone now. Shouldn't that affect him even just a tiny bit?
"It's not." Roman tells him. He knows Virgil has been struggling the past days because of the news and his lack of emotional response. Roman never met that grandma, but even as a kid Virgil would say he wouldn't mind never having to visit her.
Virgil sighs. He just hopes people will blame his lack of tears on shock or something.
"Thank you." He kisses Roman again. He's actually really glad Roman decided to come with him. He's not sure if he could handle it all without him by his side. Roman looks down at him with a crooked smile.
"Anything for you." He replies before letting Virgil go again to continue packing. They'd be back in their hometown for two or three days. One where Virgil has to go to the morgue with his close family to go over the funeral, then the funeral itself and the next day they go back home. Virgil planned to go by bus later tonight, but Roman insists they can go with the car. He assured him Remus wouldn't need it for the weekend. Roman will set him off at his dad's before going to his own parents. Virgil already packed his bag and is now just waiting for Roman to get ready.
"Alright, that should be all." Roman speaks up after a few minutes.
"You sure?" Virgil asks him knowingly.
"Yes, Virge. For the last time: I'm sure." Roman turns around to his boyfriend. Virgil hums. Not bothered by his tone in the slightest.
"Guess you don't need this then?" He holds up Roman's phone charger with a smirk.
"Don't look all smug. I knew that was there." Roman grabs it out of his hands to shove it in his bag as well.
"Right." Virgil humors him with an amused grin.
"Shht." Roman shushes him as he throws the bag over his shoulders.
"You're a dork." Virgil accuses with a chuckle.
"You're mean." Roman replies as he sticks his tongue out when he passes his boyfriend to go outside and into the common room.
"See you guys in a few days!" He calls to Patton and Logan.
"Have fun with your family! Virgil, you can always call me if you need to!" Patton calls back as he waves.
"Careful on the road." Logan adds as he holds up his hand in a small wave. Virgil smiles as he waves them goodbye as well. He gets in the car next to Roman who pecks his cheek before starting it. Virgil blushes softly as he puts on his seat belt.
"Good to go?" Roman asks just in case. Virgil nods.
"Yeah." He sighs. As soon as they start driving, he zones out and stares through the window at the fast passing scenery. He shoots back to the present reality when he starts recognizing the streets.
"It's the second to the right." He points to the right direction of his father's house. Roman follows his directions until they're right before his father's house. He parks on the side of the road and looks at Virgil.
"Are you going to be okay?" He wonders. Not really wanting to leave Virgil alone now.
"Yeah, don't worry. I'll call when we're back from the morgue, okay?" His boyfriend promises. Roman nods relieved, but then he looks guilty at the younger man again.
"Er, is it okay if we don't say anything to my parents yet?" He asks him softly. A bit ashamed he's that scared of coming out. He doesn't even know why he's scared. He's got no worries or stumbled on any problems at college. His parents accept Remus without question and Janus has been coming over almost every time they go home. And still he feels a cold hand grasping his heart by the thought alone.
Virgil bites down on his lip. He knows he shouldn't take it personal. He knows Roman just isn't ready to come out of the closet yet, but it doesn't feel good to hide. Or be hidden.
"Yeah. Of course that's okay." He tells his best friend. Roman looks into his eyes for a few moments longer before leaning closer and kissing his lips gently.
"Thank you." He whispers before deepening the kiss. Virgil lifts his hand to rest it in Roman's neck as he enjoys what might as well be their last shared kiss for the entire weekend. He'll have to go back to hiding his feelings. Pretend nothing Roman does or says bothers him in the slightest. Back to being just best friends. But he can do it. For Roman he can do almost anything.
"I don't want to go now." He admits with a cheeky smile. Roman rests his forehead against Virgil's head as he looks into those gorgeous brown eyes.
"I'll see you again tomorrow morning." He promises. He knows how weak that sounds. He realizes he should just get over his fear and show his boyfriend off to anyone he meets with pride. But he can't do it. Not yet.
"Yeah." Virgil agrees. They share another passionate kiss before Virgil opens the door.
"Bye." He looks over his shoulder with a lopsided smile.
"Virge, wait." Roman calls him back.
"What?" Virgil leans back in the car to listen. Roman shoots forward to peck his lips quick.
"Now you can go." Roman winks. Virgil lets out an amused chuckle.
"See you tomorrow, Ro." He waves him goodbye before closing the door. Roman waves as well before driving away. Virgil watches him leave before walking up to the front door and ringing the doorbell. He has a key so technically he could just walk in, but he prefers ringing the bell instead. Dad's new house never really felt like his home. Not like the one he grew up with where mom still lives. His dad opens the door and looks delighted to see him.
"Oh, Virgil, I'm so glad to see you again." He pulls him in a hug.
"Hi, dad." Virgil replies as he hugs him back. "I'm sorry about grandma." He adds with a soft frown when they let go. His dad sighs as he looks down.
"Me too, son. Me too." He agrees before plastering a smile on his face again. "Did your mom drop you off from the busstation?" He wonders. Even right now that's the first thing he can think off.
"No, Roman brought me." He quickly moves away from his mom as subject.
"Oh." His dad looks surprised. "You two really have been close again, hmm?" He wonders. Recalling how he also talked about Roman around Christmas. Virgil hums. Not going too much into it. He doesn't know if Roman meant just not show it to his parents or everyone so he's playing it safe.
"I'm happy for you, Virgil." His dad reacts. "Is he coming to the funeral tomorrow?" He asks him.
"If that's okay." Virgil replies. Trying to sound overly casual on the subject.
"Of course it is." His dad nods. They head inside the living room.
"Hi, Sharrol." He greets his dad's new wife.
"Hello, Virgil." She smiles warmly at him.
"Where's Thomas?" Virgil looks around surprised to not see his little brother.
"With a babysitter until we get back from the morgue." His dad explains.
"Are you ready to go?" Sharrol asks. Virgil puts his backpack down.
"Uh, yeah." He nods softly. It's just going to be them three, his godfather, his aunt and two cousins.
"Okay." His dad reacts as they start gathering their essentials before going out again and getting into his car.
A ten minute drive later and they're meeting up with his other family members.
"Hey, Virgil. How's college?" One of his cousins, Max, pulls him in a hug and Virgil is pretty sure this is the first hug he's ever received from him. Both his cousins are a few years older than him and they never really connected that much.
"It's okay. How are you two?" He asks as he looks at his other cousin as well. They're both working already. His oldest cousin, Simon, even living alone with his girlfriend, Josie, for already a few years.
"Hanging in there." Max replies while Simon just smiles sadly. The two of them actually did have a close bond with their grandma so Virgil can only imagine how hard this must be on them.
"Hi, Virgil." His godfather, dad's older brother, gives him a hand. Virgil shakes it with a lopsided smile to play the grieving grandson. They all head inside and get welcomed by a friendly couple.
"Oh, you must be Virgil." The woman with short blond hair and red glasses smiles kind at him. At first Virgil is a bit taken back, but then he realizes it's because she's already met everyone else when he was still following classes.
"Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you." He replies a bit awkward. She nods with a big smile before gesturing they can follow her husband in a different room. Virgil looks at the two black round tables and leather chairs around them in a circle. They all sit down a bit hesitantly. No one really sure what's supposed to happen next.
"Can I offer anyone a drink?" The woman asks as she looks around at everyone. Both Max and his godfather ask for some still water, but no one else is really in the mood to drink something and stay all too long in this melancholy place.
"Is everyone okay? Are there any questions before we go over the plan for tomorrow?" The man asks gently. Virgil just keeps looking at the floor. It's difficult seeing how everyone around him is having a hard time while he feels nothing but sympathy for them.
"Are we going to be able to park here?" His godfather speaks up.
"The close family will come here a half hour earlier to avoid everyone saying their condolences to you before the funeral starts, so you will be able to park here. Normally the parking spots on the side of the road should be free as well on a Saturday morning. So everyone can park there if necessary." The man replies as his wife returns and places two glasses with still water on the table before sitting down. His godfather nods appreciatively.
"As we've agreed, all of you as well as two more cousins will arrive here tomorrow at half past ten while the actual funeral is at eleven." The man start going over the agenda.
"You will be able to wait in another room. Often people are confused as to why we do things like that, but trust me when I say it's easier for you. We've had people who insist to meet their relatives before the funeral and before the actual funeral even begins they're broken." The woman chimes in.
"Simon, Max, Kathy and a close friend of Beatrice will read a letter at the altar. We've put the letters in our program laying ready, but it would be wise to bring your own copy as well just in case." She continues.
"We've gotten the pictures you've send in and put them already in several slides accompanied with the music you've chosen. There's just the case of the wristbands and pendant left." The man takes over again.
"It was just the three of you who wanted to keep some ash, right? If anyone else would like some, you can still decide now." He looks at Max, Simon and their dad before looking at the room. Virgil shakes his head softly and his dad does the same. He didn't realize they were going to cremate her until now.
"Okay. You can come choose a way of storing the ash in a few minutes if you like." The man looks back at the three who said yes.
"After the funeral we'll escort everyone who stays to the tables where we'll go around with drinks and little desserts." The woman adds finally.
"One of Beatrice's friends asked if it was okay if she brought her daughter as well. Is that okay?" Virgil's aunt speaks up.
"Most definitely. We always count for five to ten people extra because it often happens people realize too late they want to come as well." The man nods his head assuring. Virgil lets out a relieved sigh to know Roman can actually stay with him tomorrow. They all remain quiet for a couple of minutes before the man speaks up again.
"Would you like to stay here for a few more minutes to mourn?" He offers.
"I think we're going back home." Virgil's dad speaks up. "The babysitter is waiting." He explains apologetic.
"That's alright, sir. We'll see you tomorrow." The woman nods at him. His dad smiles appreciatively back before standing up and squeezing his brother's shoulder on his way out. Virgil and Sharrol following him close behind.
They drive to the babysitter in silence. Sharrol gets out of the car to get her son. His dad looks in the rare view mirror at Virgil.
"If it would be easier for you, you can always ask Roman if he wants to stay after the funeral as well." He suggests.
"Thanks, dad." Virgil smiles grateful at him. He was already wondering how he'd ask that without raising suspicion. He sees Sharrol come back outside with his little brother in her arms. Well, apparently not so little anymore. Gosh that kid grows fast. Virgil looks at him with big eyes. Sharrol opens the car door on the opposite side of Virgil where the baby seat is.
"Is that your big brother? Oh, yes, it's Virgil. What do we say to our big brother?" Sharrol coos as she puts little Thomas in the seat.
"Da." Thomas starts flapping his arms with an excited smile. "Da. Da." He keeps repeating.
"Hey, little guy." Virgil smirks at his half brother. Sharrol clicks him secure before closing the door. Little Thomas immediately starts crying at the thought of his mom leaving him behind again.
"Hey, hey. Mommy is coming too. Don't worry." Virgil whispers soothingly as he plays with his little fingers. Smiling proud when Thomas grabs it and tries to put it in his mouth.
"Careful he's already got some teeth to gnaw on your finger." His dad warns him with a chuckle.
"He grows so fast." Virgil replies when he looks up from Thomas to look at his dad in the rear view mirror.
"Tell me about it." His dad sighs. "I remember when you were that small and look at you now. In college." He shakes his head in disbelief. Virgil snickers softly before looking down at his half brother again. Sharrol gets into the car as well then after paying the babysitter. She smiles over her shoulder at the two in the backseat.
"Oh I love seeing you with him." She sighs happily. Virgil smiles awkwardly. He had a hard time adjusting to the idea of his dad having another child and trying over with some new kid while he was left in pieces from their divorce. He's happy his dad is happy though. And he knows his mom is happier too now. They drive home and his dad puts little Thomas immediately in his bed.
"So how's college?" Sharrol wonders with a gentle smile when she hangs her coat away. She's always tried to be nice to him and not once pretended to replace his mom. Out of all people his dad could've chosen to retry this family thing with, he's kind of glad it's with her.
"Uh, college is alright." He shrugs. What can he say that they don't already know? He goes to school, studies, gets okay grades.
"Your dad told me you've reconnected with an old childhood friend of yours?" Sharrol plumbs down in the couch tired as she looks up at him intrigued. Virgil hums.
"Yeah, Roman. We lived next to each other." He tells her as he sits down as well.
"How come you stopped being friends in the first place?" Sharrol wonders curious. Virgil bites down on his lip.
"He's two years older. I guess he just grew up faster than I did so we kind of grew apart." He replies with a half truth. She hums understanding.
"But you two are back to being close friends?" She figures because of what his dad has told her. He wonders what exactly he told her.
"Yeah, uh, I guess being best friends as kids isn't something you forget easily." He scratches the back of his head.
"Well, I'm glad you've got him. It's really nice of him to be there for you in this difficult time." Sharrol speaks up with a warm smile.
"Uh, yeah." Virgil agrees awkwardly. He's spiraling. He needs to get out of this conversation before he ruins it.
"I'm, uh, actually really tired from the trip, so, uh, I'm going to head upstairs already. Tell dad goodnight from me." He stands up as he grabs his backpack and slowly leaves the room. He waves his two finger salute before escaping to the guestroom they always set up for him. He lets out a deep sigh before dropping his bag on the ground and letting himself fall back on the bed. He takes out his phone and dials Roman's number.
"Hey you." Roman picks up and Virgil can just imagine the smile on his face.
"Hi." Virgil smirks.
"How was it?" Roman wonders more seriously when he doesn't say anything else. Virgil lets out a sigh as he drops his arm over his face.
"It was something. My cousin hugged me." He tells him. Roman hums amused.
"Grief does weird things to people." He reacts.
"Ha ha." Virgil replies sarcastically. "Funeral is at eleven by the way, but I already have to be there at half past ten." He tells him in addition.
"Okay, I'll make sure I'll be there." Roman promises. Virgil bites down on his lip before continuing.
"Dad, uh, he said you could also stay after the funeral if you want. You don't have to though. You're already doing enough." He lets him know.
"I said I'll be there. That means wherever you need me." Roman replies serious. Virgil feels a smile curl up his lips.
"You're the best." He whispers happy. He hears Roman chuckle softly. "So how are things at your side?" Virgil asks him then.
"I don't know. I'm kind of scared mom is suspicious. She keeps asking about you and I don't know how to keep brushing her off without seeming rude." Roman admits.
"Did you tell her you're home because my grandma died?" Virgil questions.
"Well, duh. I kind of had to explain why I'm here and Remus isn't." He replies.
"Wouldn't it be possible if, and I'm just throwing this out there, she's just curious because she thinks I'm having a hard time mourning the dead of my grandma?" Virgil smirks softly. It's quiet for a couple of seconds.
"I'm an idiot." Roman curses before laughing. Virgil bites down on his lip to not laugh out loud either.
"Well at least you're still my idiot." He reacts. Roman hums in agreement.
"Very grateful for that." He replies and Virgil snickers under his breath.
"In case you're wondering, I haven't told anyone anything yet either. So you're safe." He lets him know to ease his mind a bit.
"Thanks, Virge. It really means a lot to me." Roman whispers in response.
"I know." Virgil says with a lopsided smile. "I get it." He adds.
"It's going to be difficult to not wrap my arm around you or kiss you whenever I want." Roman admits. Virgil chuckles softly.
"Yeah, I've become so used to that the past two months." He agrees.
"I love you, Virge." Roman tells him.
"I love you too, Ro." Virgil replies.
"You believe me right?" Roman wonders.
"Of course I do." Virgil frowns softly.
"Because I'm not trying to hide you or anything. I want to proudly flaunt you around. I just- I just don't know why I can't seem to do that here." Roman starts rambling.
"Hey, Ro. Stop. I believe you. I do. Don't worry about me and just think about yourself for once." Virgil tells him softly. He hears Roman let out a deep sigh.
"I'm sorry. I wish I could be better." He speaks up softly.
"Can you stop? For real?" Virgil reacts. He hates hearing Roman so doubtful and insecure. "I love you okay? I don't need you to show me off to the world. I just need you." He tells him stern. Roman is quiet for a few moments.
"Man, am I glad I said hello to you all those years ago." He sighs before snickering.
"I'm glad you didn't give up on me." Virgil admits with a lopsided smile.
"I'd never." Roman promises him. Virgil smirks up at the ceiling when he drops his arm beside him again. "I am gonna have to let you go for now though. Dad wants to watch another peaky blinders episode together now I'm here." His boyfriend adds and Virgil chuckles.
"Alright, well I'm actually going to try and sleep already so see you tomorrow." Virgil replies.
"Sweet dreams." Roman tells him before Virgil hangs up the phone with a sigh. Not at all ready for tomorrow. Or sleeping alone for that matter. It rarely ever happens anymore where Roman and him don't sleep in the same bed. Whether it's in his or Roman's.

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Family don't end in blood, but it sure as hell doesn't start there either. It's absolutely okay and valid to not have a bond with a family matter. To not care for them even though "they're family". A shared bloodline and surname doesn't mean shit if the person isn't good to you or their 'loved' ones.

Also coming out is scary and it can happen that you're open and feel safe with one group of people, but not ready in the slightest with another. That doesn't mean you're any less valid! Whether you're out and proud to the world, still questioning or still in the closet, you are you and that won't be taken away from you!

Also also, sorry if this is a rather boring chapter lol