Divergent Her

Chapter 22

Tris POV:

When I wake up I think about Four. How he told me to not lower my rank for the people who want me to be weak. I also think about how he walked me to the the transfer dormitory. I know me and him are starting to become friends. Which I am happy about, but I want to be more then friends. I don't he needs that now though because he and Lauren just broke up. And on top of that I doubt he likes me. It's nice though knowing he at least cares about me as a friend. 

I want to sit with him and hangout with him at breakfast, but I know I can't. I can't go up to my instructors table and sit down. It would make people think I am trying to get him to do something for me and I don't want people to think I am a selfish person even though I am not in Abnegation anymore. 

We walk to the dining hall and we sit down. The seat on my left is open. I wonder if Four will sit in it. I mean I know we are just becoming friends, but I wonder after how we connected last night he might want to hang out with me more. He wouldn't have to say he is here for me just to sit with his initiates. I keep thinking of different reasons why he could sit her and I get my hopes up. Then he walks in. I smile at him and raise my hand to wave at him. But he doesn't glance at me and he sits down next to Zeke. 

I look down at my toast and think. We barely even know each other and he has other friends he is 18 and I am a 16 year old girl who is his initiate I'm not special. "What's wrong." Uriah asks. I shake my head and say "Nothing." "Today's fear landscape day. Do you think we'll get to see our own fear landscapes." Will says. "No we go through one of the instructors landscapes my brother told me." Uriah says. "Ooh, which instructor?" Christina says perking up. "You know, it really isn't fair that you all get insider information and we don't." Will says glaring at Uriah. Christina ignores them and says "I hope it's Four's landscape." 

"Why?" She doesn't even know him and he isn't our friend I guess. "Looks like someone had a mood swing." She says rolling her eyes. "Like you don't want to know what his fears are. He acts so tough that he's probably afraid of marshmallows and really bright sunrises or something. Overcompensating." I just shrug and say "Yeah I guess." I feel disappointed I glance at him and for a second his eyes shift to mine and I look down immediately. He isn't ever going to be nice and I was stupid to think that after everything he was going to be nice.

Four POV: 

I know I want to be close with Tris and I want to hangout with her, but I can't do it in front of all the others. I don't want anyone to think I will be ranking her because she's my friend. I don't really know if we are friends, but I know I want to be her friend. I walk into breakfast and I don't look at her because I don't want her to try and call me over or talk to me because people can't know we are becoming friends. 

All through breakfast all I can think about is her. I allow my self one glance at her ans she looks at me and then looks down quickly. She looks hurt. I did that to her. She doesn't understand why I am ignoring her. I wish I could just go up to her and talk to her.

Today is fear landscape day and Lauren is talking about her fears and what they will be going into. I am not paying attention because I don't like Lauren and we are not on speaking terms. Lynn asks what the lowest number of fears in recent years was. And Lauren answers her by saying four in an angry tone. I keep myself from rolling my eyes. 

I don't really pay attention to anyone responding to her fears I just look at them and stare off into space and think about what I could possibly say to Tris to make it up to her. I really messed up and after everything that me and Lauren did to her she probably doesn't want anything to do with me.

Finally it's her turn and she got kidnapping. The fear starts and she freaks out a lot. I remember that she was attacked and this is like a real fear for her. I say "Stop." before I realize what I am doing. I walk up to Tris and say "What was that Stiff?" She stutters "I-" "You are in first place and that was pathetic." She looks up at me in pure hatred and anger and she slaps me very hard. I feel my face stinging and she walks out of the room. What did I just do?