Beautiful You

Strength.

I've been doing bad lately and I expect myself to be this alpha child who has her shit together all the time, who has her emotions in control in all the situations, who deals with things efficiently all the time. But then I lose it altogether and I hit a rock bottom and find myself in the dumps for days or sometimes even for weeks. And I feel so helpless and end up crying myself to sleep almost every night.

So it makes me wonder, what is strength? How do you know you are a strong person? How do you know your limits? When you keep losing your shit and hitting rock bottoms time and again? And if you are not a strong person, how do you become one?

I have tried finding answers to them by reading more than a dozen articles on the internet, going through countless quotes about self love and inner strength, but nothing really satisfied me.

So here's my own perception about inner strength. And I think it helps one in the lifelong journey of self love.

It is the ability to rise up from your rock bottoms every time, knowing it will happen again and that is okay too, while keeping a healthy attitude towards life. It is the acceptance of your realities, your vulnerabilities, and allowing yourself to go through the pain, embracing your emotions. It is forgiving yourself for screwing something up, something that you thought you could do well at. It is identifying your weaknesses and converting them into your strengths. It is the ability of starting the process of letting go of the past that hurt you and the people who drain you. It is not never crying but rather to have the courage for choosing to be vulnerable, even though it may make you feel weak.

And you dont have to have your shit together all the time. You're allowed to mess up. You're allowed to not be the strongest person in the room. You are allowed to put yourself first.

Because after all, you're a human being too. And you're allowed to love yourself, especially at your worst.

And you don't have to put a tag on yourself and decide if you're a strong person or not. You're here. And you are still going. And that's what matters the most.

I encourage you to create your own versions about inner strength.

As Marcus Aurelius once said and i quote, "you have the power over your mind- not the outside world." So reflect back on yourself and you will find a whole new dimension within you. 

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Smile. Be kind. Fall in love with yourself.

xoxo
Ava.