Beautiful You

teen relationships

What is love? According to me, love doesnt have a specific definition. i believe in love but i dont strongly believe in finding it in another person. I think sometimes, someone is destined to be strong enough to stand their own ground and be their own person for the rest of their life. and sometimes someone is meant to have a significant other.

for me, its never about finding that missing piece in my puzzle or finding my other half. my idea of a healthy relationship is when two individuals who are independent and strong enough on their own come together and form a much greater force out in the universe. its about building each other up together and individually. Its calming our own storms while having the emotional support and the feeling of belongingness we need from our significant other.

Loving someone gives you the strength you never knew you needed. it helps you love yourself in the ways you never knew you could. it could be the most beautiful or painfully devastating, if its with the wrong soul.

As teenagers, we assume that being in a relationship will solve all our problems. but we often attach our worthiness to the number of people interested in us. But most of us have felt lonely in a room full of so many people.The thing is loneliness is an emotion and that emotion is simply a feedback to what is going on inside of us. and being in a relationship is not going to change whats going on within yourself.

people around you could tell you so many things they love about you and yet we find ourselves in moments when we refuse to believe them. why does that happen? its because you havent searched for answers from the inside, you havent looked at yourself without mirroring the way people perceive you. its the work you put in, in yourself that is going to help you brave through your battles. while being in a relationship we get the help we need and we learn to be coherently dependent on someone else, but since our young minds are so impressionable, we lean into the dependancy so much that we forget how to lean on to ourselves. When certain events force us to be independent, we falter and realise that we somehow forgot how to.

there is a quote that says "we accept the love we think we deserve."

so the question that arises is how do we know for sure what kind of love we deserve?

I think the answer is you dont.. You simply cant know for sure. Because if you did, you'd either be a narcissist or someone with very low self esteem and your world would go spiralling down either ways. So you just.. learn. From every relationship that you've been in or the ones around you. You learn, about yourself, about whats right for you at that moment. And i think the love we think we want or deserve keeps on changing. its not going to be the same 5 years down the line. your priorities will be different, your goals and interests could change, you will find a new aspect about yourself. And most of us are afraid to do it the wrong way. but what we fail to understand that in order to have something that is right for us, we need to know what is wrong for us as well.

as we come to the end, i want to be clear that im not closed off to love and relationships and i know that people have different expectations and beliefs regarding the same and i respect that. I just want to spread the message from a teenager to a teenager that you've a long way to go and you dont need someone to make your life validated, to tell you IF you are good enough. because you already are. and if someone hasnt taken interest in you or saw you the way you want them to, doesnt mean you are not worth looking at.

and no matter how the circumstances turn out, i really hope you treat yourself with kindness and patience and find solace within yourself.