Your Not Alone

10. Depression

I begin to go through a depression i had thoughts of suicide that i have never told anyone about, i felt as if school, heartbreak, dealing with work, not being very close to mother at the time was another reason.

I've never in my life thought i would ever have to go through a state of depression like this but this time I did and i couldn't seem to know how to cope with it because I was just so hurt.

Being the quiet person that i was and never really talked to anyone i honestly couldn't tell anyone, i know they wouldn't understand me and where i was coming from.

I sat in my room locked my door and laid in my bed, i just sat there looking at my tv with my head on my pillow at the edge of my bed with things just continuously running through my head.

My depression was taking a toll over me, i didn't really know how to take the things i was going through mentally, emotionally and physically. It were nights i would be up and before going to bed asking and praying for God to heal my heart of hurt and pain.

I wanted the pain to go away i felt that if i were gone maybe people would care for me and love me then, I couldn't take anymore of it so i just kept having thoughts of wanting to just end my life.