Forever Mine-A Stevepop Story

Ch. 7: I Hate Myself

*Edited

Warning: Self harm

Soda's POV:

I hate myself.

I'm so stupid!

Why did I not stop myself?

I think of mean insults for myself while I lay down on the bed and cry. I wish I never have tried to make a move on Steve. I cry for a few minutes. I hear a knock on the door and Ponyboy walks in with a glass of water. I sit up and take it and drink it all.

"How are you doing?" he asks me.

"Terrible. I don't know what to do anymore."

"Just give Steve some space. I think you both need it."

"But you don't understand," I say grabbing Pony's shoulders, "I love his SO much! I can't leave his side."

Pony looks freaked out and I let go of his shoulders. 

"Sorry."

We sit in silence. Then I realized something.

"I think you're right." I say.

"About what?" he asks.

"That I'm obsessed with Steve. I am." I feel disgusted with myself.

"Oh my," he says, "I think you need help."

I look at him in shock.

"You do Soda. It's not healthy to be obsessed."

"No I don't, okay?"

"But Soda-"

"Please, just leave me alone."

"Okay, well, I'm going to the Nightly Double with Darry."

"Okay."

He leaves the room.

*Self Harm Warning

30 minutes later, Pony and Darry have left to the Nightly Double, and I go to the bathroom and I find a razor. 

I hate myself. I thought. 

I grab the razor and make three small cuts on my left wrist, then on my right wrist, and I bleed out. 

It felt great. I cut myself one more time on my left wrist and I clean myself up.

*End of Self Harm Warning

I want Steve with me. I want to hug him and kiss him, but he's not mine.

I realized it's 6:30 p.m., dang, time goes by fast.

I decide to go to sleep, I don't care how early it is.

I went to sleep on my bed after I had a cookie for a snack.

-

There's another chapter, the next chapter will be a time skip, thanks for reading :)