i anit any good

3

izuku pov 

i made my way out round the back to where i smoke . i honestly feel sick knowing theres food in me , i sat down and shinso joined me like yesterday this time carrying food great more nausea . " why dont you have food i forgot my lunch yesterday what about you " shinso asked " i dont particularly enjoy eating unless it's nessasry " i mumbled but he caught it " that dont sound healthy " he said bordly i shrugged " is anything i do healthy probally not " i said before i had rice shoved in my mouth from his bento box i almost choaked but managed to swallow " i thought i'd die strung out on drugs not almost die from choaking on rice " i said feeling bile rise up i stopped him for a minuet and let the bile go back down . " sorry bile " i said 

" you need to eat weather you like it or not " he said seriously " why the hell do you care " i asked suspciously " i think your lost , you dont know what your doing and you dont know where your going you've got no one to really back you that you trust and i think you dont understand alot of things like your emotions or careing for others i dont think you get the point of things and all of this builds up in frustration and more emotions that you bottle up " said shinso tiredly but calmly " i saw you down by the beach last night , my window faces it . you looked confused but let raw anger out i also saw what you were taking that shit isnt going to do you good . will you let me try to help you , will you let me gain your trust " said shinso 

i thought about it will it be better , will i get out of the cycle . " i bearly know you shinso " i said quietly " well , how about you use this to get to know me and if at any point you truly distrust me or somthing then you can call this ordeal quits and i leave you alone " said shinso " ok i'll at least try " i said uncertain . " at least another two mouthfuls " shinso said stearnly i shook my head looking away " for a bad boy you act rather childishly and cute " he said i turned to reply but this time he put some sasuage in my mouth " dont you dare spit it out " he comanded staring right at me i slowly chewed the food im my mouth before forcefully swallowing . " one last bite and then no more " he asked " please just take it izuku " he said i sighed opening my mouth for him to put more rice into my mouth i slowly chewed and swallowed while he ate normally . " izuku do you have a vendetta agaist food or an eating disorder " shinso asked concerned " no just sometimes i loose my appatite and then other times a binge eat it flips between the two but when i've lost my appatite for food when ever i do eat i almost throw up and feel nasuase " i explained quietly not looking at him .

" come on it's time to go in " i muttured so we calmly walked in talking about conspiricy vidoe's since we both dont sleep and end up in you tube rabbit holes . we sat down in our seats " we're going to the music rooms " my father said i dont like playing on gutairs i dont own or play regularly " izuku we got your gutair " my dad said handing me my gutair case that had a boquet of flowers painted on . a girl came up to me " omg i love your case who painted it " she hair long jacks connected to her earlobes "  uh i painted it myself ... " i said awkwardly we sat in this music room i keep my music book in my case , i took out my gutair and just started playing randome melodys i've been playing with . " you can play gutair " asked a boy with a bird head " what kinda bad boy would i be if i didnt " i said bordly making shinso chuckle . 

" so you write music " a pink skinned girl said exitedly " uh ... yeah ... i guess " i said awkwardly " play somthing " demanded the grapist " rather not my music is personal " i said " just play somthing we wont ask questions " said spikey blonde kid i relented taking my song book out i fipped through it before sitting at the grand piano , i opened it on the song so i can play the notes since it's been a long time since i wrote or preformed this . i started playing .

It's a little cold in paradise tonight
Love faded
I'm finding new forms, I'll ride it out
It's fine for now
im seeing clearly now , theres no turning back                                                                                                         And im overwelmed