The Night Of Separation

[4]

T W O months later:

Despair.

Is guilt greater than despair?

He was guilty at the beginning for what had happened to her because there was a hope that she will be awake.

Slowly, the despair started to reside within him. The light (hope) he had for her was covered with a dark shadow that dissolved the light.

What does this world offers besides the pain that people hold so dear to themselves? Why do people forget about pain, suffering and sadness?

He looks at her lifeless body still on the same hospital bed sleeping a deep sleep that he wasn't even sure about. He had called it sleeping for a long time and now he had lost sight of it.

He managed to find her name after struggling for days.

Caira.

This woman was exceptional. Her name reminds him of soft candy. But the times he had confronted her, she wasn't all that sweet to him. It hasn't been two days since he had looked at her, no words, no stories, no communication and nothing.

Just her in her white clothes and glare reserved for him that he cannot help but chuckle at every single time now that he remembers them. Those things that annoyed him, her challenges, her eyes and herself starting to come back at him like a beautiful memory. How is that what he found annoying now seems something different?

What he did remember now was her glaring at him, guards high, dead eyes, red lips and small nose. The way her body swayed in every step that she took.

He wasn't sure how he ended with her and how does he stumble on her. Why was she sent his way? Maybe he was doing something wrong or perhaps he was a route of her?

Questions, thinking, overthinking and no answers whatsoever.

"God, Caira, you cannot just leave like this. The doctor didn't spend their time on you just for you to leave this world. My mother and I didn't pray each night for your life for you to sleep here. The world was meant to break its people but just open your eyes once. I promise I will fight with you against all those who have done you wrong. You wouldn't be alone anymore. Please come back". He cried

The constant stable beeping sounds of her heartbeats restored through the room, with the sound of his broken heart. He felt himself wanting to go along with her. To the places, she has been to and to the place she was stuck in. To throw her out of that never-ending circle and stay in. He wants to take her to a place where she might have a will to live again.

"Please". He pleaded

The silence of the room was filled with loud sounds from the machine attached to her. He moves back as her body violently shakes and the doctor rushed in, pushing him away from her.

The only sound that remains in his ear was the sound of her last heartbeat. The sound of that straight line that the machine produces was the sound that lingers, repeat and stayed in his mind.

He cannot do this.

His steps start to move and drag himself out of the hospital, where he finds people coming in with the hope that they will be better once they have spent generous amounts here. But were they?

They came in two months ago and they both are dying in different ways.

He drags his feet along the street as his steps swayed from one to another as if he was drunk. To anyone, he might appear drunk. But maybe he was intoxicated by life.

He was sick. Not the sick that was visible to people. But the kind of sick that was eating him alive.

He had a happy family. A happy family who had gone through enough disaster already. Where he was asked about his father and taunted. Where his mother was a piece that everyone had an eye on and his two sisters. Where everyone wanted to have them. Where everyone made sure their life was tough than it would have been.