Pyre

Chapter 19

TRIS POV

Tobias breathes in constricted bursts, sometimes not deeply enough and sometimes desperately. Even that hurts—I can tell by the way his eyes tighten—and the strong pain medication that the nurses periodically return to give him can only do so much.

"She has to go," he grumbles out of nowhere.

I almost sit up in surprise, but something tells me that my head would explode if I tried. He has barely spoken since he woke up hours ago, just grunts of helpless frustration when the doctor examined him; before that, he repetitively asked me if I was okay in a somewhat coherent state.

Although we haven't communicated much, there is a mutual anger simmering between us, and it is aimed at none other than Tori. She is the reason we are stuck in the infirmary with our injuries. She is the reason why there are people on the opposite side of the curtain crying out whenever the nurses care for them.

There are probably hundreds of Dauntless dead, and they would not have been if she hadn't been selfish.

And Tobias is right: she cannot remain in her leadership position. What she did not only undermined the other leaders' authority, but it directly slaughtered our faction. Regardless of the fact that we did secure Amity, that was the worst possible way for it to turn out.

"She almost got you killed," he says.

"She almost got you killed," I say weakly. "She does have to go, and we will figure it out. But right now, you need to focus on yourself, Tobias."

He sighs stubbornly. This is what I was afraid of. The day Tobias takes care of himself over others is the day Evelyn and I become best friends, and with the extent of his injuries, he can't afford to be that kind of defiant patient.

I got off easy with another concussion and a broken wrist. He, on the other hand, was pinned down in the Dauntless army's path and trampled. From what I have been able to see from my reclined position, he is quite literally black and blue and swollen to the point that it is difficult to breathe. What the doctor is most nervous about though is the internal bleeding, which is the underlying cause of the disturbing colors on his chest.

"I feel like I'm wasting space," I admit. There are people with gunshot wounds and other life-threatening injuries, and I'm taking up room in this hospital bed.

"You're kind of important," Tobias reminds me.

Not any more important than anyone else. It shouldn't matter to anyone that I am a former leader, but I suppose I will always receive preferential treatment from now on.

I fiddle with the strap of the uncomfortable brace on my arm. "Maybe they'll let me go home soon. I need a shower."

"Well, it sounds like I will be trapped here for a while," he slurs, the drugs tiring him out. "Promise you'll come visit sometime?"

His eyes display the same defeat that has his body pinned to the bed. Empathy spreads through me as a warm ache. We both saw what happened, and once again we have been reminded that war overwhelms everything. Every time I witness a tragedy I learn more and more that I need to make every second count. That I almost could have lost him permanently.

"Tobias," I murmur. "I'm not going anywhere."

He closes his eyes, the assurance helping him be content enough to finally rest. I try to drift off too, but it seems that every sense has been heightened, every noise across the infirmary amplified to bother my head.

And then the curtain is pulled back, and all chances of going to sleep are gone.

"Well isn't this a pathetic sight."