Maybe I'm Just Getting Older

Why

Why do I give everyone else the energy that no one gives to me?

Why do I give all I think I have to others hoping that the less I have will set me free?

Why give pain permission to take up all the space in my heart?

Pushing those who I love away and tearing my peace apart?

Why am I so angry at those who deserve all my patience?

Yet hand feed those who hate me and stay complacent?

Why am I so gullible yet skeptical of those who show me love?

And hurt myself then ask for forgiveness from the One above?

I give all my energy away in hopes of helping others in ways I can't help myself.

I do this so I have no time to see the problems that I have laid upon a shelf.

I let pain take up space so that I can feel something at least.

And being alone to hear myself gives me a sense of release.

I get angry because the fire inside of me never quiets.

And the best revenge is giving love to people who have never tried it.

I know exactly what I'm doing when I hold back or let go of people.

And no one should judge what I have done before they see the sequel.