Maybe I'm Just Getting Older

Genuine

In my attempt to be humble

I boasted my faults

Mostly made up

Until I clothed myself in them

To convince myself of authenticity

By nature, I am uncomfortable with myself

So I hide, mask, and distract

Myself more than others from my imperfection

I cannot trick others into thinking that

I am who they see

If I myself don't believe it

When I wake up in the morning

And I see myself completely natural, vulnerable

I instantly realize why I mask myself away

Unable to remember who I was

Before insecurity and pain

Shifted me beyond recognition

I never really knew who I was

Unless my being is characterized by

Constantly needing to change who I am

A constant pull to adjust to the expectations of others

An addiction to acceptance

In order to avoid being put down and aside

In the very place I have become all too familiar with

I have learned to accept pain and disappointment

As something as natural as breathing

I have learned to constantly move on

Yet always being reminded of what I left behind

And in my constant need to leave behind

I have found peace