I Wish I Hadnt Seen You.

chapter 8

Claire opened the blanket and put it on Mark. Yes. Shed managed to grt him to sleep. It was a little weird to have that tough man she saw fight bad guys be so vulnerable to her. But she was glad hed finally let her in.

She knew now he would be fine. More like she was determined to do so.

He just wanted someone to acknowledge all his pain all these days. And just like her. He wanted someone to see through his soul.

She traced the scar under his eye. Slowly. He seemed at peace. But claire wouldnt sleep. Bonnie was already asleep. But claire wasn't sleeping today. She was gonna sit right here. See what his nightmares could do.

She sighed as she sat on the sofa infront of Mark. Opening the file Callahan sent her. She read through it. He was in the army. She wasnt surprised.

Saved a thousand lives. Unlike what hed told her today. She smiled. You aren't what you show us Mr hill.

And now she knew why Callahan cared so much. Because in the end. Just like a human. Mark hill was scared too. No matter how tough he made himself seem.

He was killing himself from inside. And thats what he thought he needed. But she knew better.

She looked at him. So much peace. Shed seen alot of people in her life. Treated a thousands...but this one. She felt like she wasnt treating this one. But healing herself along with him.

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Mark stirred in his sleep. Opening his eyes. He saw his venessa. Her hands choking him. On his throat. Fighting to breathe. He gasped for air. His wife behind. Whispering. Die. Mark fought for breath. Pushing her off of him. He grabbed his gun from the table.

Soft hands wrapped around his hands. His vision cleared. As he saw Claire. Her grey eyes looking into his. "We're fine Mark. Could you please put this down?"

Mark pulled his hand back from her grasp. She wasnt horrified. She looked at him calm as a cucumber.

"Could you get off my back? Leave me alone" Mark grumbled. As he walked out her door.

He heard her footsteps. "You saw venessa. You saw your wife. Why? Why do you see people who are dead?" She asked. As if to pry a monster out of him.

Mark growled. "Stay away from me!"  Claire halted in her steps.

Mark opened his door and was about to get in when she grabbed his hand. Not the forearm. But his hand. Her tiny warm fingers against his cold palm.

Mark furiously looked at her. "Could you stop this? Talk to me. Im here. Talk to me. Tell me why you see them."

Mark cursed. She was stubborn. And he didnt quite care if he could hurt her right now. "Claire froehler. Get the fuck away!" He grunted at her.

She stood still. Smiled at him. This woman needed help. Shes crazy. Mark held his head. Here they were the head aches.

He cursed loudly. "You killed them didnt you? You did this to yourself" claire spat at him.

Seeing pure red at her words. Mark swept at her. "What did you say?" He spat back at her.

"You killed them. Didnt you? Your wife and son?" Claire stated clearly.

Mark punched the wall near her stairs. He saw her jump. He looked at her. Cold in his eyes. "I didnt kill them. No matter how many times they tell me that. I didnt. I couldnt reach them in time. Its not MY FUCKING FAULT THEY ARE GONE. I COULDNT SAVE THEM!!! SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE.  HE WAS JUST 3!!"

Claires watched him scream at her as tears ran down his cheek. Claire was used to pain from her clients. But today. For the very time she was crying. She wiped her tears. Moving towards him.

He saw her coming to him. Moving away. He said lightly. "I killed them. Ill kill everyone. Stay away. Im a monster. Stay away doc."

Claire stood still. "Ill stay where i am. Not far not near. You will choose what you want now. Take a deep breath. Do you think you did it to them? Do you think?"

He sat down on his knees. His hands in his hair. "I didnt....i didnt kill them. I loved them. I didnt. But they keep telling me otherwise"

Before she realized claire was crouching next to Mark. Her hands on his head. As though pulling away his dirty thoughts. "Shes dead. Your letting your own head create things you believe you did"

He looked up at her. "Why are you doing this? Why"

She smiled. Her hand now on her cheeks. Tracing his scar. "Because im crazy? And it takes more than that for me to call you a monster"

He moved her hand away. "Ive bothered you enough. I should go" he got up. Unable to reciprocate anything.

Claire smiled. Tugging at his hand. "Im scared. Will you stay?" She asked him in a baby voice. Marks face confused.

"Please...im scared." She repeated again.

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Claire shut her freezer door. Taking the pea packet in her hands she grabbed his hand from where he was seated at his counter top.

He winced. "I can do it" he tried to grab the pea pack. Claire conitnued to hold it against  his knuckles. Ignoring him.

"Hey doc? I dont like being touched" he stated. Trying to get her attention. Claire smiled at him. "Im sure this aint the kind of touching that bothers you detective."

Mark smiled a little. Yes. His nightmares didnt seem so huge today. Why? Because of her? No way. Mark shook his head.

"Mark. Im better off being called that" Mark stated silently. "Mhm" she said silently. As she moved away.

Sitting on the counter top next to him. She opened the nutella jar and started feeding on the chocolate in it. Mark couldnt help but notice her being so unnervingly attractive.

"Wanna talk about it?" She asked. Looking at him. Grabbing another spoon and giving it to him.

Alright. Yes. He thought this was gonna help. Shed changed his mind. And he couldnt help but notice how he actually saw he might get better.

He smiled at her. Grabbing the spoon."can you not look at me when i talk about it?" He asked.

Claire laughed. Her laugh so full. Mark was unsettled by the way his heart fluttered at her laugh.

She nodded. "Yes sure."