Mending A Broken Heart (bxb)

Chapter 4

"It can't just be me, right?... Dylan?... Dylan!" Cara had been rambling on about the sudden change in Jeremy's attitude when she noticed that Dylan had zoned off and wasn't even listening to her anymore.

Dylan shook his head startled at the sound of Cara's voice breaking him from his trail of thoughts, "What?"

Cara looked at her best friend skeptically, "Dylan, are you okay? You've been zoning out a lot lately. Did something happen?"

Dylan mentally scoffed, oh, if only you knew, he thought. 

Dylan shook his head, "Nothing happened. I think I just forgot to take my meds," Dylan stood up from his bed and scavenged his bedroom to find the box of pills that contained a small circular pill for each day of the week.

Cara, having heard what had happened on Dylan's three month anniversary from Jordan the day before, knew what was going on Dylan's head. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about anything?"

Dylan furrowed his eyebrows, "What?" He scoffed, "No, I'm just... late on my meds," Dylan dropped the pink pill on his head before plopping it in his mouth and drowning it with water.

Cara sighed, "You know, word travels fast in a group of four people."

Dylan, knowing what Cara meant by that, dropped his arms to his side and sighed. "I feel like the worst boyfriend ever."

Cara stood up and wrapped her arms around Dylan in an embracive hug. She pulled him to the bed and held his hands. "Dylan, you don't have to feel this way. Jordan is not like Conner in the slightest and -

"It's not that Cara. It's that Jordan told me he loves me and the last time someone told me they loved me it ended really bad and I don't want that to happen again," Dylan interrupted her.

Cara gave Dylan a sympathetic sigh, "You can't keep this bottled up, Dylan. You have to talk to Jordan and tell him how you feel. It's easy to fall back to old, comforting activities that keep us feeling sheltered and alone, but opening up to Jordan can help you move on."

Dylan shook his head and slumped on his bed, "Jordan knew the kind of person I was before we ever got into a relationship. He knows what I've been through, and don't get me wrong, he's been amazing at comforting me but I just feel like I'm disappointing him every time he tells me he loves me and I can't say it back."

"Jordan doesn't care if you say it back or not, he loves you for you. He fell in love with all your perfections and imperfections, you don't need to feel stupid for dealing with your own insecurities," Cara stated while moving her hand across Dylan's arm.

Dylan knew that Cara was right to a certain extent, but he found it hard to believe it when he had all these thoughts on his head telling him the opposite. "I don't know, Cara. Can we just not talk about it anymore?"

Cara sighed, but she knew not to push Dylan too far. She nodded and wrapped her arms around Dylan in a comforting hug. She cared for him a lot and she knew that whatever Dylan was going through was real.

She remembered her early memories with Dylan and how he had been so carefree and happy. Looking at her best friend now, she saw a different Dylan. She saw a Dylan that was insecure around the people that loved him.

The rest of the time that Dylan spent with Cara was in silence as she had been infatuated by her phone. Dylan couldn't help but listen to the thoughts in his mind. He tried to fight them off, but the only way they managed to escape his mind is when Jordan came by.

Jordan, weary of how his relationship with Dylan is heading to, decided to pass by Dylan's house. Jordan never wanted to make Dylan feel uncomfortable, but he could tell something was off from the night before. In addition to Dylan's sudden change in character, he had stopped replying to texts and had ignored all of Jordan's calls.

Upon arriving at Dylan's house, he knocked on the white, wooden bedroom door before gaining the attention of his boyfriend and best friend. Cara jumped at the sight of her best friend as she knew that he could help Dylan out of his slump.

Dylan glanced at his boyfriend's appearance and almost instantly he could feel his worries fade away. It's like all of his overthinking and everything he told Cara a few hours before didn't matter when he knew that Jordan would always be by his side. Dylan smiled and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck in an engulfing hug. He loved smelling the burnt Oakwood cologne Jordan was infamous for as he snuggled his nostrils on his boyfriend's shoulder. He also loved feeling safe when Jordan's arms held his body so softly.

"I'm sorry for being so distant this past couple of days," Dylan murmured quietly.

Jordan cupped his boyfriend's face and smiled, "It's okay," the couple held each other as they laid down on the bed. "How about you and I go on a little date tonight?

Dylan smiled. "What's the occasion?"

Jordan rolled his eyes, "Why can't I just take my handsome boyfriend out on a date without a reason?"

Cara knowing how this conversation would play out decided that it was her time to leave the two lovers on their own. "Guys, I think I might just head out. It's getting late," she turned to Dylan, "You're going to be fine," and then she turned to Jordan, "treat him good."

Dylan smiled, "Thanks Cara, love you,"

Once Cara had gathered her things and left, Dylan looked back at his boyfriend, "So where are you taking me?"

Jordan smiled endearingly, "Do you remember when I first got my driving license and we drove around the interstate blasting music from the radio?"

Dylan nodded as he reminisced on the memory. He remembered how happy he had felt when the music was pounding in his ears so loud that he couldn't even listen to the thoughts in his mind. He nodded his head as a response, in hopes that it was the date his boyfriend has planned for him tonight.

"Well I thought that we could go for a drive tonight like we did that day. Are you up for it?" Jordan asked.

Dylan smiled, "I would love to! I've always told you that day was one of my favorites."

Jordan scoffed jokingly, "I mean, I don't mean to brag but I am a pretty good boyfriend, if I say so myself."

Dylan rolled his eyes at Jordan's smug act, but deep down he knew that Jordan truly was a good boyfriend to him. There was no reason for him to be worried or anxious about anything at all. But then again, that was easier said than done.

The car ride down the interstate presented Dylan with the same out of body feeling he had felt the first time they had driven there. Dylan felt like nothing mattered but the songs that were blasting from the radio. For a couple of hours, Dylan could forget about the thoughts that had a way of crowding his mind and he just engulfed himself at the moment with his boyfriend.

As the sunset on the horizon and the music shifted to a soft ensemble, he couldn't help but admire his boyfriend. The way the golden rays from the sun shined on Jordan's eyes making them a golden honey brown and the way his curly blonde hair flapped around from the wind blowing in from the open window, made everything feel alright.