Mending A Broken Heart (bxb)

Chapter 10

Sitting on the front porch was no other than Jordan. His head was down and he stared at his hands, as he thought of how he ended up at Dylan's house. They weren't dating anymore, but Jordan had felt unaccustomed to his new lifestyle without Dylan. When he heard the engine of Calum's car turn off, he looked up and instantly furrowed his eyebrows. He watched as Dylan had thanked Calum for the ride and then exited the car.

The boys locked eyes as Dylan walked to the front porch and Jordan had felt stupid for showing up unannounced. "Hey," Jordan spoke. He fumbled with what to say to him as they were now on new relationship territory, "I don't know why I came here... I just wanted to talk to you but now I just feel stupid."

Dylan had looked off to the side. He wanted so badly to be with Jordan, but he also wanted to prove his independence. "Jordan, we can't keep doing this."

Jordan looked down again and let out a sigh, "I know..." he shook his head, "I don't know what I was thinking and now you're hanging around Calum, and he -"

"He just drove me home, Jordan." Dylan interrupted him. He didn't want Jordan to get the wrong idea of him and Calum.

Jordan sighed and he had felt even more stupid, "I just... this is hard for me, Dylan. I need you more than I thought I would. Do you need me like I need you?"

Dylan definitely needed Jordan but he felt like he grew accustomed to his life with him. It was always panic attacks and flashbacks to moments he didn't want to remember when romantic dates and fun getaways should've been. Dylan knew that this break from Jordan was essential to heal himself from his past trauma. "Of course, I need you. This is not a breakup, Jordan. I just need to figure myself out, and I can't do that if I'm with you."

Jordan nodded his head as he took in the information. He understood what Dylan meant but he felt defeated that he couldn't be with Dylan to help. "Okay, I just don't want to lose you."

Dylan smiled, "You won't lose me. I promise you, I'll come crawling back to you."

Jordan had felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. Suddenly, he felt stupid for overthinking and being dramatic. "I'm sorry for driving over here unannounced," he said as he walked down the front steps.

It broke his heart to see Jordan leave and Dylan almost wanted to invite him into his house and talk like they used to, but he knew he had to be strong. "Wait," Dylan had hesitated, "Can I hug you?"

Jordan had smiled and walked forward, "Yeah, of course, you can."

As Dylan held Jordan around his arms he couldn't help but long for his touch. He missed the burnt oakwood cologne that Jordan was known for and he missed placing his chin on the crook of Jordan's shoulder. He didn't want to acknowledge that this may be the last time he would hug Jordan in a long time.

He sighed as he closed the front door to his house and slumped into his room. He had spoken to Jordan that he needed to figure himself out, but quite honestly, he didn't know what that meant. He knew that all of this stemmed from his toxic relationship with his ex, but he didn't know how to heal from it.

Jordan drove to the basketball court after his interaction with Dylan to clear his head. Jordan had thought about Dylan for almost the entire day. He thought about what he might be doing, how he was coping without him, and if he was okay, and seeing Dylan a couple of hours ago allowed Jordan's worries to ease. Even though they weren't together, Jordan still felt the need to take care of Dylan and it hurt not being able to help him with his inner battles.

Jordan threw the basketball at the hoop and he watched the ball bounce off and dribble to the side. He went to go pick the ball up when he saw a figure lean down and hold the ball. When the figure stood up, Jordan let out a sigh of relief. "What are you doing here?"

"Wow, a decent greeting would have been nice," Jeremy spoke.

Jordan rolled his eyes, "I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to be here."

Jeremy had passed the basketball to Jordan, "I heard about what happened with you and Dylan. I'm really sorry, man."

Jordan dribbled the ball and then rested it on his hips, "It's okay. It's what Dylan wanted."

Jeremy nodded, "You loved him, right?"

Jordan paused, "I still love him, and as far as I'm concerned we're just on a break."

"How do you know if you love someone," Jeremy had let out randomly.

Jordan stopped to stare at his best friend and then smirked, "Are you..." he let out a chuckle, "Are you in love with Cara?"

Jeremy immediately blushed, " I wouldn't say I'm in love," he rolled his eyes and groaned, "I just have a small, harmless crush on her!"

Jordan scoffed, "Are you sure it's just a small crush?"

Jeremy crossed his arms, "Yes, I'm sure. Anyways, it's not like she'll ever like me the same way."

Jordan couldn't help but empathize with Jeremy. He reminded him of himself when he first started crushing on Dylan. "Don't say that, man. I never thought Dylan could like me, and look how we turned out."

"You guys literally broke up last weekend," Jeremy added.

Jordan rolled his eyes, "I meant before that, and we didn't break up. We're on a break."

Jeremy sighed and brung it on to himself to reveal the secret that Cara and he had tried to conceal, "We kind of hooked up last weekend at Melisa's party, and now I don't know how to feel because our hookup just made me fall for her even more and -

A gasp exited Jordan's mouth and then he hollered, "Jeremy, you hooked up with Cara!" Jordan couldn't contain the surprised look on his face, "How did that even happen?"

Jeremy shrugged, "I don't know. We were drunk and one thing led to another, and we ended up in one of the guest's rooms and you know what happened next."

Jordan brought his hands to his forehead and he took a second to take in all this brand new information, "How is Cara taking this?"

Jeremy slumped, "At first, she tried hard to keep it a secret, but then she started calling me in the middle of the night or in between classes to hook up."

"No way, Jeremy," Jordan smiled, "So are you guys dating?" he asked eagerly.

Jeremy frowned and shook his head, "I'm just a hook up to her."

"Oh," he walked towards Jeremy and pulled him in for a hug. He couldn't help but feel bad for him. "Jeremy, you can't let her use you like that."

Jeremy sighed, "I know but whatever we have right now is the closest I'll ever get to being with her, and I don't want to lose that."

"You're going to get your heartbroken, Jeremy"

Jeremy let out an exasperated sigh and brought his elbows to his knees as he held his face. The two boys went their separate ways at the end of the night.