Mending A Broken Heart (bxb)

Chapter 12

Jordan had set the cold brew coffee on the bedside table in an attempt to energize the fatigued boy sleeping on his bed. He brushed his hand through Dylan's hair and he watched as his eyes fluttered open. He smiled as his former boyfriend yawned and then stretched his arms.

"Time to wake up," Jordan had spoken softly.

Dylan groaned, "Just a couple more minutes," and his eyelids fell into a sedated sleep once again. Jordan sighed and let Dylan rest, and in the meantime, he decided to make a plate of breakfast to go along with the coffee. "Dylan?" Jordan brushed his hand on his cheeks and soon enough Dylan had opened his eyes defeated with the fact that it was time to wake up.

Dylan sighed and then tore away the bed covers from his body as he walked towards the bathroom. He had felt this uncomfortable familiarity when he woke up that morning. Jordan waking him up with breakfast like he used to and finding his toothbrush the way he had left it in the bathroom just didn't sit right with him. "I think I'm going to head out now," Dylan had stated as he stood on the threshold between the bedroom and the bathroom.

Jordan furrowed his eyebrows, "What?" Dylan had only just woken up and he hadn't even touched the breakfast that Jordan had prepared for him.

Dylan proceeded to collect his belongings from the bed. "Thank you for helping me out last night but I need to be alone right now."

"You're going to leave already?" Jordan let out a desperate groan. He thought he would have had more time to spend with Dylan in the morning.

Dylan shook his head and let out a sigh. As much as he wanted to be alone, he also hated leaving Jordan on bad terms. "I just..." he hesitated, "things haven't been the same with us Jordan, and I can't sit here and pretend like we're okay when we're not."

It was Jordan's turn to shake his head. "What happened to us, Dylan?" He gestured his arms forward in a questioning manner, "I'm sorry for what you're going through Dylan, really I am, and I wish I could just help ease the pain your feeling but I can't help but think you're just pushing me away-

"I'm not pushing you away, Jordan," Dylan interrupted. He placed his belongings on the desk and went over to where Jordan was sitting on the bed. Dylan sighed in defeat, "I don't know anymore."

Suddenly, Dylan had felt this overwhelming rush of regret. Maybe, all of the doubts about Jordan loving him and him overthinking about his past trauma just resulted in him pushing away the one boy who had ever truly loved him. He couldn't help but feel like he just made things worse. Dylan's train of thoughts was broken by the sound of Jordan's voice, "Is it something that I did?" he paused, "Was I being too overbearing?"

Dylan shook his head, "No, this was never about you," hearing Jordan feel insecure about his role in the relationship just made Dylan feel bad about going on a break in the first place, "You were so caring and loving. You were the best boyfriend I've ever had," he rubbed the palm of his hands on his jeans, "I'm sorry..." he sighed, "I'm so stupid."

Jordan shook his head in disapproval, "You're not stupid, Dylan."

"I don't know why I feel the way I do... I don't know how to explain it," Dylan let out, "It's like I'm suffocating all the time and I can't catch a break."

Jordan reached for Dylan's hand and brushed his thumb across his palm. The pair locked eyes and Dylan hadn't noticed how much he longed for Jordan's touch until that moment. Slowly, but naturally, both boys had leaned in. Although Dylan had been longing for his lover's lips, a jolt of anxiety stirred in his stomach. Growing frustrated with these reoccurring feelings, Dylan planted his lips on Jordan. The kiss had a certain abruptness to it in the way Jordan had fallen back on his bed, but as he grew familiar with his lover's lips again he couldn't help but let out a small smile. Dylan held the sides of Jordan's face engulfed with the passion of the kiss, and then a thought popped in his head. His hands scavenged Jordan's body and stopped above his shorts. He slipped his hands under and he pulled away smirking, "Do you have a condom?"