How To Not Life

1st Betrayal

I ended up meeting a girl in 2nd grade and became best friends with her. I'm gonna call her Taylor Swift because she was obsessed with Taylor Swift. We became friends very quickly. both of us were extroverted and gave emotions easily (the opposite of my best friend Child Killer). Taylor came from a very rich family but her parents always fought. In 3rd grade they divorced and I was there to help her through it. She promised me she would be there for me just like I was there for her.

I really cared about Taylor. I viewed her as a little sister (she was only a couple days younger than me). She was so small and I felt it was my duty to protect her. After her parents divorce things were very difficult for her. Her life was constantly changing as she was split between her parents and her brother decided to just ignore. She told me I was her one constant in life. I didn't mind the title cause I knew I would be there for her.

However, she started to change in 4th grade. She started hanging out with a different crowd of girls. These girls were popular but more of a nasty type of popular. They were popular because they gossiped about everything. As soon as they knew a secret the whole grade would know. I tried to warn her but she accused me of being jealous that she was making more friends and becoming popular. I denied it but she didn't believe. I told her she could do what she want and I would be there to pick up the pieces. 

Therefore, Taylor stopped hanging out with me at school but we still hung out outside of school. This continued into 5th grade. One day when we were hanging out she asked if I like anyone. Well at that point I still liked Percy so I told her the story about him. I thought nothing of it and we continued with our sleepover. 

The next week at school everyone I went people looked at me laughing. I was confused. Then a girl came up to me, "Is it true you like Percy? That's hilarious like you have a chance with him."

I was furious. I immediately knew Taylor had told my secret. She betrayed me. I soon confronted her and she apologized tears in her eyes. She told me she didn't mean to do it. It was a mistake. She asked me not to leave her since I was the only one who knew the true her and if she lost me what else did she have left.

I immediately forgave her. I knew she wouldn't do it again and she learned from her mistake. I said we were still friends and it was okay. We all make mistakes. 

For the next several years things proceeded the same. i would share a secret she would spread it and I would keep forgiving her. In 7th, grade I just stopped sharing secrets with her. I learned my lesson. However things were gonna take a turn for the worse.

I think Taylor started to notice that I was slowly distancing myself. Therefore she asked if we could do a sleepover just like old times. I agreed. She came over to my house and we had fun going swimming and watching movies. It felt like old times. Soon we feel asleep in my bed watching Titanic. 

That night I woke up with a start to see Taylor above me leaning down towards my face with her hand under my shirt inching up towards my chest. I immediately screamed. My mom came running in seeing what was going on. She immediately pulled Taylor off me and sent her home. I cried the rest of the night not processing what happened. 

After that night, I couldn't look at Taylor in the eyes again. Her family ended up sending her away for the rest of the semester and Summer. When she came back to school the next year we had nothing to do with each other. I never talked to her again.

Her mother made a formal apology to me a couple days after the incident however I had wiped it from my mind. I was confused I knew I was no longer friends with Taylor but i could never remember why. I thought it was because I was tired of her betrayal and spreading secrets. It would take me till my second year of college to finally remember what really happened.

Turns out, I ended up blocking that night out my mind for the rest of middle school and high school. I couldn't process it. This memory only resurfaced in my second year of college when I thought a guy was gonna kiss me and I just started panicking. The panic of thinking I was about be kissed brought the memory back. 

I hear now she is doing well. She has a boyfriend and seems really happy.