How To Not Life

Marine Guy: 1st Relationship

So our first story begins in Kindergarten. I was about 4 years old. I distictly remember in story time the teacher would always yell at us to sit in "our designated" square so she could start reading. However, going to a Christian school we did not do normal story time like fairytales. Nah nah nah our teacher would read us stories from the Bible and hold up pictures to look at. Now some of these stories would be sweet with Ruth finding a second chance at love and things like that. other time it could be gruesome with constant battle or you know the fact our Lord and Savior Jesus was literally crucified on a cross. That picture was not pretty especially to a four year old.

Anyway, during reading time we has designated spots and next to me was Marine Guy. I call him Marine Guy because he introduced himself as , "Hey I'm.... and I want to be a Marine when I grow up." Yep, this kid was born with red white and blue blood. His first blanket was the American Flag and his first toy was a gun. Also, even at this young age he carried around a mini Bible and copy of the Constitution. He couldn't read them but that never stopped him.

Anyway, Marine Guy and I would sit beside each other and talk sometimes. Nothing serious just random thinks a Kindergartener can think of. We always got in trouble though because we were not talking about the Bible during story time. But that never stopped us. Anyway, we became close and soon during Nap Time we would set up our mats beside each other.

Funny side story about nap time. You had to be quiet and have your eyes closed. The teacher actually walked around the whole hour to make sure your eyes were closed. Now, there was only one way you got out of Nap Time. If you picked up the Bible and decided to read it then you could stay awake. This is how the Bible become the most coveted prize for us children. No one wanted to sleep in the middle of the day (the exact opposite of me now in College all I want to do is sleep). Therefore, as soon as Story Time finished and Nap Time was about to begin it was always a race to the one copy of the Bible. Luckily, since I assigned spot on the Story Time Carpet was the closest to the book I often got it and didnt have to sleep.

Anyway, weeks went by and on one fateful day during Story Time Marine Guy leaned over and whispered to me, "Hey do you want to me my girlfriend?"

This question came out of nowhere but I barely being able to understand the true meaning of his words immediately agreed. This is how my "first" relationship began. Surprisingly enough this relationship lasted 4 years.

Marine Guy took his boyfriend duties very seriously. He called me everyday on the home phone and we would talk for hours. How he got my number you may ask? Well, our school sent out a directory that had every student's (and parents) name listed along with phone numbers, and home address. Honestly, looking back that is a horrible idea. I mean thiose directories were physical books that were mailed out every year. Anyone could have just shown up at my house...

Anyway, Marine Guy looked up my number and called me. We soon told our parents and our peers. We ate lunch together (and honestly it was just a friendship but still it was nice).

We always invited each other over for our birthday parties and gave each other gifts. He always bought me nerf guns. His family owned a huge stretch of land and he always tried to convince me to let him take me hunting but I never gave in. 

This continued to 1st grade where we conitnued being in a relationship. I met his parents (who absolutely adored me) and his younger brother also liked me (so much so I later learned on from his mother that he developed a crush on me). I think at this poitn I was starting to like the dude. So much so I wrote a picture book about our relationship for a project and read it to the class. How I was ever able to do that with a straight face is beyond me.

Then 2nd grade happened and things went downhill. I was talking to Marine guy one day when a girl came up to him and started talking to him. I saw him pull out his sticky note and then look at her. Their conversation was short nothing special. I then asked him about the sticky note. And he replied, "Oh its a list of my girlfriends so I can remember their names. Looked I listed them in order of my favorite. You are number one."

First, I was happy to be number one but then I realized I was not the only one. In fact this boi had 4 girlfriends. One of them being my best friend and the other my archenemy. The other one I did not know but still. I was so confused. I ignored him for the rest of the day. The next day, I pretended everything was normal and just kind of forgot about it. Honestly, looking back I dont know if I ever really cared about the dude romantically but oh well.

In 3rd grade, we were still "dating" but growing a part. At this point we did not call each other anymore and barely ate lunch together. What ended it was on the playground at recess one day Marine Guy punched someone. I couldn't condone violence. Therefore, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. (By the way he was suspended for a week so I had to wait till he came back to break the news to him. I still have the nerf gun he gave me its pretty cool mixture of a gun and bow and arrow.)