✓ Blood Lust (Levi Ackerman - Attack on Titan) #wattys2021

Chapter Thirty-Two

My lips press against Levi's temple, still in awe that he's actually asleep. Each morning, I sneak out to help my father catch up on paperwork. I tried assisting Levi with his, but I never do it to his standards. Luckily, my father isn't as much of a perfectionist as my husband is.

"Did you wake him today?" my father asks from across his desk.

I shake my head, sitting down in the vacant seat in front of him. "Nope. Still asleep like a baby."

"A very angry baby," he mutters, grinning. "Well, let's get to work. These papers won't finish themselves."

I mock salute him before taking half of his stack. Who knew being the Commander came with so much paperwork? Most of it came with the overhaul of the Military Police about four months ago.

My stomach churns like it has been for the past three weeks. My pen drops while I try to furtively cover my mouth, taking deep breaths to prevent the bile from rising up. My free hand grabs the wastebasket from beside it, still hoping my stomach will calm itself.

Luck is not on my side today.

I can't bring myself to look at my father after emptying the small breakfast I had. Vomiting is embarrassing but even more so when someone is watching. Plus, it is his trash can I've just ruined. Thankfully, I didn't upchuck on the floor.

"Have you told him yet?" he asks, leaning back and quirking one of his bushy brows at me.

"Told who?" I play dumb. "And about what?"

"I'm not stupid, and neither is Levi. He'll figure it out eventually."

My throat constricts and I realize I want to cry. Where are these emotions coming from? "I haven't been training as much lately. I didn't think this would happen. I'm not even sure..." My skirt clenches together in my fist as I try to calm down. Panic has permanently settled in my chest since I lost my home. I don't think it'll ever go away.

"You need to tell him, El. He's going to be a father. You know he doesn't like being blindsided about things."

I nod, knowing he's right. "I can't. He'll treat me like I'm made of porcelain. I won't be able to go on the mission. This one means more to me than anything."

"More than the life of your child?" His identical blue eyes stare back at me.

"Yes. I'd rather die trying to get my home back than to sit here and raise my child without Levi."

He leans back, a guarded look on his face. "So you already think the mission will fail, daughter?"

I swallow, hoping I don't piss off whatever fantasy he has in his head. I know how his obsession has been with Eren's basement. We're motivated by two different things but our goal is the same. "Reiner and Bertholdt are still out there. They're waiting for us, maybe even in Shiganshina. There's going to be casualties like all of our missions have had. I want to be with you and Levi rather than sitting at home waiting to see if you have died."

"I could prevent you from coming," he says to me, clasping his hands across his stomach, still leaning back. "I won't do that, though. I need you on this mission. I'd make do without you if you had decided to stay home."

"You can't tell Levi about this, though." I gesture down to my abdomen. "He'd do everything in his power to not let me go. He's already gotten so protective the last couple months since Historia became queen."

"And soft, since he let you slack on your training." My father grins and I can't help but return it. I know my secret is safe with him. Now to just fool humanity's strongest soldier.

He's hunched over our dining room table by the time I get home. It's getting dusk now and I briefly wonder if he's sulking from lack of food. My hand pats his back before pulling out ingredients for a meal. I can sense his stare on my back as I move about the kitchen.

"Is soup okay? I haven't gone to the market yet," I ask, turning to look at him. He nods silently, resting his chin on his fist.

I quickly chop off the vegetables and place them into a pot on the stove, adding water for it to simmer in. Moving on, I boil water, seeping black tea into two cups for both of us. He lifts the cup by the top to his lips as soon as I place it in front of him.

"You okay?" I finally ask, the silence bothering me.

He sighs, possibly out of annoyance of me talking. "Eren...he's pushing himself too hard with the experiments."

"What do you mean?" I take a sip of my slightly cooler tea, happy he isn't bothered with my talking.

"Today, he patched an entrance with the hardening ability and his nose started bleeding. He didn't care that this could be killing him. Stupid brat."

I lightly kick his shin with the toe of my shoe, grinning at him. "But he's your brat and you care about him."

"Tch," he scoffs, bumping me back. "Don't forget I beat the shit out of him."

"Love taps."

He snickers mid-sip, choking slightly. "So how was your day?"

"Boring. Like usual. I miss training with the others." Would my father even let me go back to training? My mother didn't treat pregnant Scout members, but they usually went on leave for the duration. We don't have that luxury now.

"You need the training. You've been slacking off these last few months and it shows."

My eyes avert from his gaze, a chill running through my body. He seems to notice I'm upset by his comment, trying quickly to backtrack. "I'm joking, El. I clearly have no problem with your body." He quirks an eyebrow at the innuendo. If he only knew what our nightly activities have caused.

Later that night, I find him in his study working on paperwork since he's been out with Hange most of the day. I'm out of my clothes from earlier, in a nightdress to sleep in. Levi furrows an eyebrow at the pages in front of him.

"You should come to bed."

"Tch. And who'll do my paperwork? The mice?"

I grin, wrapping my arms around him from behind. "Well, seeing as I actually killed those, we'll have to rely on the spiders."

"I killed those, too, when I cleaned the house a few months ago." His head leans back to stare up at me. "Go to bed, El. You look exhausted and I'll be fine. I stayed up most nights before marrying you."

"Let me take some of your paperwork with me tomorrow. I'm just as particular as you are about it. Don't you trust me?" I fake pout at him, causing a soft scoff that's suspiciously close to a laugh.

"Let's go to bed wife."

I win again.