✓ Blood Lust (Levi Ackerman - Attack on Titan) #wattys2021

Chapter Thirty-Three

I'm in the middle of papers when Hange and Levi barge in, startling both my father and me.

"Can we borrow Eliora for the day? She is still my apprentice after all," Hange speaks first.

My father looks from Hange to me, then his large stack of paperwork, sighing. "I guess so. I'll just drown in my responsibilities."

"Why does it smell like sick in here?" Levi asks, holding his nose in disgust. I look to my father, panicked that he'll tell the truth.

"I drank too much last night and got sick."

"Learn to hold your liquor, Erwin," he responds before turning on his heel, probably to get away from the gross aroma. Hange looks between us, a grin spreading across her face.

"I'm going to be a great godmother, aren't I?" She pushes a hand against my abdomen. I swat her away in annoyance.

"Stop Hange. There's nothing to feel yet."

"Yet!" A maniacal smile covers her face, unsettling me at the crazy idea forming in her mind. "I'm going to tease Levi about this constantly."

"He doesn't know and you can't tell him."

She frowns, looking over at Erwin. "We aren't telling Levi?"

He shrugs. "I told her to but conflict later seems to be her go-to in life."

"Are we leaving or having a social party here?" Levi asks, popping back into my father's office.

"Lead the way, Captain."

"Remember when you kicked his ass?" Jean says when we come into view of our old training grounds.

"I hope he doesn't hold grudges." My stomach flips at the nostalgia hitting me from being back. My eyes search for the area that Reiner and I used to practice in the middle of the night. I blink back tears, unprepared for the emotions overcoming me. Will I ever get over his betrayal? I don't know anymore.

"He was Commander of the 12th before Erwin," Hange tells us. "It's been a long time since we've seen him."

"He must've sucked if I was able to flip him on my first day of training," I mutter, earning a sharp look from Levi. Guess I'm rusty on how I'm supposed to act.

We hitch our horses, going into the training grounds to find him.

"Commandant Sadies," Eren says, walking forward and saluting. The bald man turns to us, looking even more haggard since we last saw him.

"Jaeger."

We follow him into a conference room, each of us taking a seat. That is, everyone except Sasha.

"What's wrong, Braun? Not sitting?" he inquires.

"No! I'm fine standing here!" she screeches, standing to attention.

"Don't lock your knees, Sasha. You'll pass out," I comment, looking down at her legs and seeing her noticeably relax.

"If I recall, back in the day I used to invite you here to chew you out. And it's only been a handful of months. I hardly recognize you all anymore," Sadies says, looking at each of us.

"Commander Sadies, or rather Commandant," Hange corrects, "with plans to retake Wall Maria underway, perhaps you can guess why we are here."

Sadies stares at Eren, silent for a few moments. "Eren, you resemble your mother so much." Gasps echo the room, including my own. "However, those fangs lurking deep in your eyes are surely your father's."

Eren shoots up, his eyes determined and furious, much like during our time in training. "Tell me about him! Everything you know!"

"I know nothing in the grand scheme of things. However, I can tell you a story utterly useless to humanity. The story of my past, as a mere bystander." Sadies spends the next hour telling us how he met Grisha Jaeger, first outside of the walls and how he stole Eren's mother from the Commandant. He continues on to tell us about the day Eren was injected then finally, to the sabotage he did to the kid during training.

"So that's it?" Eren asks, his eyes wide.

"Now we know the real reason you resigned," Hange says, ignoring the titan shifter. "Not to atone for the soldiers you killed, but because you realized you were never special. That's the childish reason you're here." Playful, slightly crazy Hange is gone, replaced with a somber, serious version of her.

"Quit it, Hange," Levi orders.

She ignores him. "Screw your inferiority complex. Don't run from reality. Isn't that what vowing to give our hearts is all about?!" She stands up to make the salute over her chest, her voice rising a few octaves in anger.

"Please stop, Hange," Eren tries this time.

"Let her continue," I mutter, taking a sip of my tea. Damn, it became cold during his long story.

"No. The Commandant is right. I was never special or anything, but I'm the son of a special man. That's all it is."

"Your mother, Carla, said this: Is it wrong to not be special? He's already special, because he was born into this world."

Eren looks at peace, leaning back in his chair. Myself, I'm not calm. I'm disturbed. Sadies is more of a coward than I originally thought.

"I need some air," I mutter, leaving behind my cold drink and heading outside. I don't want to be here anymore, but I find myself walking back to our spot.

"C'mon, punch me. I don't know why you're holding back, blondie." Reiner taunts, circling around me.

"I don't want to hurt you," I defend, keeping my gaze on him so he can't get the upper hand.

"I'm pure muscle. Your little weak fists can't do anything to me."

"Famous last words, Rein." I fake to my left before taking a swing straight to his nose.

He grunts in pain, a bit of blood running out of his nose from the impact. "That smarts a bit. Good job!" He beams at me like a proud parent.

"You're so weird." I start to walk away, done for the night, but he grabs me by my ponytail, dragging me back. I'm caught off guard, maneuvering out of his grasp. He lands a kick to my side, pinning me down.

"If I was a Titan, you'd be dead already."

"Then eat me," I tease, grinning. His gaze turns intense as if he's staring into my soul. My breath hitches, nervous at where this is going. Our eyes meet and he's off of me in a flash.

"Go to bed, Ellie." He runs his hand through his hair in either frustration or anxiety, I can't tell.

"Reiner—"

"Just go, please. We're done for the night."

I nod, feeling dejected as I leave. Why did it have to get so awkward?

"Why are you over here?" Levi asks, startling me out of my memories. His hands are in his coat pocket, several inches shorter than Reiner, reminding me that I'm not in the past anymore.

"Just reminiscing."

Levi is silent, looking at me with a veiled expression. "We should get going."

I nod, following behind him. He helps me onto my horse despite my not needing his assistance. He pauses, his hand paused on my thigh, his gaze glossing over.

"Levi? We're leaving?" I remind him.

"I know. I was just checking something," he defends, tightening a strap. He walks away, getting on his own horse. I keep looking over at him on our way back, wondering if I've offended him somehow.