More Than I Should

Chapter 21- "Choice"

*Y/n's POV*

I sit at the top of the tree and stare at the sky. My walls have finally came crashing down. I promised myself that for the sake of my family, I would build walls. The walls that I built would be strong enough to shield me away from any pain that I could potentially feel.

"Oi, dumbass? Are you trying to get yourself killed? If you are, I'll just feed you to the titans myself," I hear Levi say behind me.

What is this? Pick on Y/n day?

"Answer me!" He barks at me.

I look at him and there was something different in his eyes. It wasn't pity but concern.

"I-I'm fine. I'm not doing anything of that sort."

"Tch, what's on your mind?"

"Huh?" Was he actually asking me that?

"I asked what was on your mind." He let out a breath and sat down on the branch, next to me.

"Oh." I take a deep breath and look at him. "I built walls around myself ever since I lost my family. I'm sure you know what I mean I guess. But ever since I've had all this stress on me and people giving mixed signals, I don't know. I just needed to put my walls down for a moment and let certain things out. I'm sure they're being built up again, so who knows. I just know Petra was right."

"Explain how Petra was right."

He was looking at me and his face wasn't really stoic like usual. His face softened as I spoke which is a new side I have never seen.

"Just about everything. How I'm a bitch. How I'm too cold. How I act snobby. How I lash out on you guys for no reason. How I just am. About everything."

"She's not right at all," Levi says, looking away to the sky.

"What do you mean?"

"She's jealous."

"Why?"

"Because of this."

And at that moment, I thought I was eaten by a titan.

He smacked me square in the face. No reason to do so. He just did it.

I would've preferred being eaten by a titan.

"I can do things like that and you could potentially do it back. Or the fact you call me Levi. Or the fact, you're 'getting all of my attention' as Shitty Glasses has said. She's always wanted that kind of relationship, I guess you could say, with me, but she isn't-" he stumbles on his words.

"Suitable?"

"Sure. Suitable for that position."

"I see. But why would she be jealous of me, out of all people. Despite what you said, I still don't understand why she feels that way. Its not like you're hers, nor are you mine. That's not what I meant."

"Fucking calm down. I understood what you meant. Listen, don't let Petra bring your sorry ass down. It would make her get what she wants, am I correct?"

"I guess you're right. How do you deal with everyone Levi?"

He looks at me and shrugs. "Deal isn't the right word. I tolerate them because I know that if I am in need, they would be there and I share that same gratitude. Even though it may seem that I'm an asshole, I'm not. Well I certainly am, but not in the way people think."

"I don't think your an asshole. You have had a different past than some of us. That's what make you the person you are."

"My past shouldn't reflect on my emotions. Neither should yours. I'm an asshole because I choose to be an asshole. Its not because of our past. Its because of a choice. A choice that I have control over. Let that sink in. Y/n, don't put walls up unless you feel the need to."

He stood up and jumped off the branch onto a lower one.

"Come on. You need to eat. I don't want to drag your sorry ass around all the time."

I'm sorry for the small update. I haven't been okay lately. Quarantine has been complete shit and I haven't been in the best mindset. I understand I just started up this book again, but I don't know how long I can write it without speeding up their relationship. And also Im trying to write different books on my other account. Idk but I promise that I'll keep this book going as long as I can. I have one reader that has helped me keep this book going so if you read this, you know who you are and I thank you. I promise I'll keep this book going for you.