both of them are quiet the whole ride home. after bright's outburst he pleaded that none of them speak. no sorry's and but's or any word. win knows that bright does this so neither of them can say harsh remarks to each other, but it's actually killing him. he hates that he can't properly explain his side, though he understands that he's hurt bright. but in his defense, he doesn't feel ashamed of him. that's something he'd never do.
bright's eyes are focused on the road, and curses under his breath from time to time whenever there's a traffic jam. what happened in the parking lot feels much like a low blow and a slow burn. it hurts more than getting punched and the pang of pain still lurches in his insides to the point that there's still a burning feeling under his chest. the least thing he'd want to happen is for anyone to be ashamed of him. that's the reason why he hasn't come out to his parents yet. though he tries his best to forget even the bits of it, the scenario keeps on replaying inside his head. win's actions, the look on his face, and whenever a streak of it brushed in his mind, his heart is being crumpled and torn into pieces.
he remembers what one of his high school friends told him years back. his name's nanon. the look of pain and betrayal was evident on nanon's face when he told bright how his partner never wants them to be seen together, as if nanon deserves a place in the dark -- at the backstage when his partner was busy battening his ego. it was devastating for bright because nanon is his friend. he'd never want to experience what nanon had gone through, and he's hoping nanon has found a partner who's proud to show him off the world because that's what he deserves.
his thought of nanon stops when they've reached his house. he doesn't go out of the car, thinking win would go out first. but neither of them get out with the still air around them.
"i want to stay," win whispers, fumbling on the end of his tie. when bright doesn't answer, he pulls his courage to look at him and say, "please? i really want to."
"your choice," bright says before he gets out of the car. frustration and guilt engulfs win, and he doesn't know which emotion to lean to at times like this, but he takes a deep breath and reminds himself to take what his instincts tell him.
they're eating instant ramen for dinner, in bright's bedroom with a tatami table between them. a few minutes passed and bright's done with his bowl of ramen. win senses he's going to get up and leave him, so he grabs bright's wrists and pulls it toward him.
"let's talk, bright. please?"
they have to talk, win thinks and he's hoping the talking would solve the problem. bright pushes the table beside him and sits cross-legged at he looked at win.
"talk, then."
win clears his throat. "i'm sorry. i didn't mean to make you feel that way, i swear."
"i just can't understand why you're afraid of what people would say," bright brushes his hair using his hands out of frustration.
"i'm afraid that when they know what's happening between us, they'd talk behind our back. and we'd have to deal with their stares and the whatever rumor they start saying or we'd lose our internship and other companies would know and we'd never have the chance to work ever again. i'm really afraid, bright, these thoughts are killing me because i love you so much, and i would never be ashamed of you. ever," win says, and tears start streaming down his eyes. seconds after, he's sobbing so hard he has to get the glass of water on the table to calm himself.
bright, seeing win cry, feels his heart melting. he pulls win towards him and hugs him tight while placing kisses on his hair.
"do remember what i told you when we confessed to each other?" bright asks, and continues when he feels win nodding, "i told you we'd get through things together. people may say things about us or hate us, when they really shouldn't, but we'll be stronger together. i know that you care about what people would say, but if we would let them get into our heads, we'd be stuck and we won't move forward which is harder. you now why? because when that happens we'd hate ourselves and start blaming each other for things that could have been prevented if only we didn't let ourselves love. but i love you so much, and this is something i'd never regret doing. not in a million years. i'd do everything for our boat to stay afloat but you have to promise me you'll trust me more. so, together?"
win pulls away from the hug, smiles over his drenched cheeks and says, "together."
YOU ARE READING
hooked | brightwin
Romance"i like girls," win repeatedly says in his head as he stares at bright's bare back, jerking off.
