Cherry- H.S

A Little Too Much.

A/N: hi.... I love you all... I'm soft when I write this fanfic and I wanna thank you guys for reading it... seriously I get all warm and happy when I write this so it means the world that you guys love it. Thank you *virtual hugs*

"I had no idea you lost someone... Someone so important to you." He mumbles to me, and I nod.

"It's not a known thing, but I don't hide it either." I shrug, drinking coffee, and not my normal smoothie.

"I lost.. I lost my girlfriend to cancer almost two years ago." Easton speaks out, and I look at him.

"And how are you?" I ask, keeping my eyes locked on him. I don't want to apologize because that's the worst thing to hear.. Someone feeling sorry for you because of something none of us can control.

"It's been hard. We lived here together, she was a social media manager, and of course I was still with this gig... I just see her in everything I do. You probably know how it is.. What about you?" He asks me, and I shake my head.

"I still see the crash a lot... I hate getting in cars. Sleep is crazy too but... But I'm learning, and moving forward and stuff." I nod to him, and it feels good talking to someone who's been through something similar, losing someone you love and not being able to control it.

"I find that making friends, and finding new people to be around helps..." He looks up from his coffee cup, and I smile, thinking about Harry, and Mitch, even Easton himself.

"It's been helping a lot actually. I'm glad I have you as a friend too, it's nice." I tell him. We have been in the studio the past few days together, recording piano for Harry, and hanging out. I haven't heard much from Harry either. It's bothered me, it's definitely been tough, but I'm trying my best to not think about it in that way.

"Well I need to get going.I have another session in around an hour, but I'll see you in the studio next week alright?" He asks, and I nod, leaning in for a side hug. He leaves, and I go back out to my bike, getting on, and going to my apartment.

Today is Saturday. I haven't seen Harry in six days. I haven't called him in four. I miss him... Sadly I miss him. I ride my bike back to my apartment, letting the happy go lucky attitude disappear, going back to the same monotone that I've felt the past four days.

I haven't slept. I've gone back to the same routine, fearing what will come if I close my eyes, knowing I could call Harry but not wanting to. I don't want to be dependent on someone who's not showing much interest in me.

"Hey Bowie." I sigh, walking into the apartment. I walk into my bedroom, and keep the tshirt on, but take my pants off. I find myself going to the piano, playing around, messing with different melodies, and keys, but not able to focus on them.

I don't want to fuck any of this up with Harry, but somehow it feels like I already have. It feels like I might have upset him, or maybe he's just realized he's not in this. It's embarrassing, being down, and out like I am right now over nothing, but I am. I get in my head, I overthink... It's just what I do. Bowie sits on the edge of the piano and meows to me.

"What? I know I look bad, I'm kind of sad okay?" I ask him, and he walks across the keys, pressing them down, making his own type of music. "That's a great song, maybe I should write it down." I laugh, and he sits in the middle of my piano, tilting his head with a meow.

"I think I'm a little bit in over my head, don't you think?" I ask, and he gives me a soft meow.

"What? You don't think that if Dean-" Bowie gives a harsh meow. "I know, I know you don't like him... I'm starting to not like him so much either... I just think that maybe after... him, and now Harry it's like... Is this smart? Being with someone else? Someone like him?" I ask the cat, and he meows, a disapproving tone. "Listen... He hasn't spoken to me... I like him just as much as the next girl, but he doesn't tell me things... I just feel like there's a certain way I should feel, and I-" There's a knock at the door, and I stand up from the piano bench, walking slowly to the door. I open it, and my lips part.