Cherry- H.S

In Case You Don't Live Forever.

CHERRY'S POV:

Today is an odd day... Today is a day that I don't really know how to feel. Last year this day wasn't really big in my mind because last year I was in France when this day rolled around, and I told myself to take a few minutes but to not let it affect me. But now I'm here, in LA, and it's kind of hard to just pretend like it's not in my mind.

  Dean died three years ago today.. I know he wasn't good for me. I know he was a shit boyfriend, and all around a shit person, but he was still important in my life. He was still my boyfriend of three years, he was the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with... What a relief it is that I'm not... He was the most toxic man that's ever entered my life... So how am I supposed to feel?

I'm sitting here inside a multi million dollar home, that is now my home. I'm staring at a baby grand in front of me sitting in the living room. I live with my boyfriend who is not only my boyfriend but a super star. I make my own money. I've traveled the world, I've seen every place, I've done everything.. I've done everything he would never let me do. I've moved on from him, but I'm sitting here thinking to myself... What would he think if he saw where I was right now? If he was still here I mean...

Part of me feels like he would call me from Tennessee, living his life with Nicole, god help her. I'm not even sure where she is or what she's doing now.. I never met the woman, just saw her from afar at his funeral, but I still feel bad for her. I feel like he would see my success, and somehow try to take it from me... Try to belittle me, try to make me believe I don't deserve it, nor my life the way it is... He would try to bring me back to him because he never thought I would be good without him... So why do I feel a grip in my chest?

I look down at my phone, seeing the time, knowing I should be expecting Harry back home with me soon. He stayed with Mitch last night. They said they were "going to finish the song I started." But that I worked too much, and that I should have a night to myself. So I stayed home, and wrote songs for Hayley Williams solo project that I've been hired for, and I also worked a bit on some of the Ben Platt stuff I've been hired for as well.. But Harry doesn't need to know that.. I still have work to do.. I still have at least another song to write, but right now I want Harry home, because I want this sinking feeling gone.

I call him, and receive a voicemail right away which only makes me wonder. I call again, and get the same thing so I call Mitch, wondering if they're still together.

"CHERRRYYYY BOMMMMBBBBB!" He yells into the phone which makes me cringe away at how loud he is.

"Hello Mitch, how was your night last night?" I ask.

"It was good, great, fine, why are you asking? No we didn't do drugs." He speaks quickly, and I scrunch my eyebrows together.

"So... You did drugs then.." I laugh, and he scoffs.

"I just said we didn't... Why would you think-"

"Mitch Rowland did you or did you not do drugs, you know for a fact Harry will tell me the truth, and you know how I feel about liars." I tilt my head, the phone pressed to my ear as I wait for an answer.

"Okay fine we might have done a tiny bit of shrooms.." He admits, and I laugh.

"Oh what I would do to see you on shrooms.." I'm thankful for this laughter, for this distraction right now, but I need to get a bit back on topic. "Is Harry still with you?" I ask.

"Um... No, he left like an hour ago, is he not with you?" He asks, genuinely confused.

"No.. His phone went straight to voicemail, Mitch did he say he was going anywhere?" I ask, and he sighs.