Cherry- H.S

I Can't Breathe.

A/N: I've had this chapter song picked out for a long while now, but the title of the chapter(Though the song has nothing to do with it) Really does hit. George Floyd's last words... I can't breathe. This man did not deserve death. This man was brutally murdered. I know you are all here right now to read a story, to escape from the reality of the world, but I cannot post this chapter without saying this... I average around 20K-30K reads on each of my chapters, I will not be silent when I have been gifted a platform such as this one.

In our world today silence is violence. Murders like this one, police brutality must be stoped one way or another, and as of right now we're in the midst of another civil rights movement. Sign petitions. Donate if you can. Educate family and friends, and be actively anti-racist. Make a change in the world, and do not be silent in this. Thank you guys for reading, thank you for supporting me, but I need you all to know that I support and love every single one of you no matter your gender, sexuality nor the color of your skin.

ALSOOOOO WHEN THEY ARE WRITING THE SONG IN THIS CHAPTER, PAY ATTENTION TO BOTH SIDES, THINK OF BOTH SIDES AS THEY WRITE THE MUSIC!!!!!

CHERRY'S POV:

    Crawling into his bed feels odd. It feels nostalgic in a way, comforting, but also horrifying. He follows behind me, and I watch him carefully, wondering how this is going to go. He moves next to me, and lays down, both of us facing each other but not touching. I stare for a few moments in silence, then slowly move myself forward, letting myself cave into him.

    "What's going on in that head of yours?" He asks as I curl into him, his arms wrapping around me. I cover myself from the world.

    "A lot of things.." I tell him honestly.

    "Like what?" He asks.

    "Anger... Confusion. Love, hope, fear... There's a lot going on in my head... I don't know what I'm supposed to feel right now.." I tell him truthfully. It feels like it's hard to breathe..

    "You're not supposed to feel any type of way... You're just supposed to feel. Whatever feels right." He tells me.

    "What do you feel then?" He asks.

    "I feel hopeful... I still feel like an asshole. I feel angry... angry at myself... I feel nervous... I feel open right now.... I feel like I'm spread wide open to you right now.."

    "Spreading you completely open is the only way of knowing you... There's no simple way to do it..." I tell him, and he takes a deep breath.

    "I'm sorry..." He whispers.

    "I'm sorry for thinking I would change that... It wasn't my place." I tell him.

    "You loved me right... I loved you wrong, that's the difference Cherry.." His voice is just above a whisper, and I feel myself shaking my head.

    "My mom would always tell me that you can't love someone right until you loved them wrong.. You learn... sometimes you learn." I try to comfort him in some ways even though truthfully I should be the one getting comfort... I don't really need it though in some ways. He was in the wrong, he screwed up, but he's the one that's doing something he's never done with this. He's never opened his heart this way. I've been broken before...

    "Darling... What does this mean... For us what does this mean?" He asks me, and the question makes my heart beat faster.

    "I think that's a question best answered when we sit down and talk tomorrow..." I tell him, knowing that the answer in itself might be hard to speak about.