Cherry- H.S

So I Don't Let Me Down.

A/N: DOUBLE UPDATE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS(:

DON'T LET THE CHAPTER TITLE FOOL YOU, THIS CHAPTER IS WHOLESOME AS FRICK... I KNOW YOU GUYS WILL PROBABLY STILL CRY THO BECAUSE YOU GUYS CRY AT LITERALLY EVERYTHING... BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS! KISSES!!!!!!

    I've been home for a few days now, and Sandy is finally home as well. She dropped Bowie off this morning, and he notices how off I feel. Not only is it the most emotional time of the month, but to top it all off Harry is gone, and busier than ever... I've tried to keep myself busy too, I went to the studio with Mitch, and Kid. Easton was there too, and I'm used to hanging out around all the guys. I did it with Dean even though I wasn't really supposed to speak. I feel less judged that way.. Ever since the day after the studio it's been hard to get anything done. It's been hard to not feel... Blah. This time is worse than Jamaica, mostly because I'm in love with him now, but either way... I'm not dependent on him, I don't need him, but life is dull without him...

    I've stayed in my apartment since the day at the studio. I've written bits and pieces of songs, trying to find some type of motivation to write them. I made plans with Sandy, and I made plans with Kid, and Mitch again for studio time, but I crave an adventure... I crave a hug, but not just any hug.. This feeling is all too familiar... I've felt it a thousand times before.. I've never felt this fear though.. With Dean I had been oblivious to what he was doing with other women. Though I doubt that Harry would ever do something so vile, it's so hard for me to shake the fear... The trepidation in my brain won't leave.. The shaking fear of him doing something, even by accident... My phone rings, and I reach my hand behind my head as I lay on the floor to put it on speaker.

    "Hello.." I mumble.

    "Oh it feels good hearing your voice.." He speaks out, and I let out a soft smile, but still feel myself sighing. Fucking hell Darlene, get your shit together...

    "I bet it'd feel better if it was in person." I speak my mind.

    "I'm on speaker phone right now, I can hear the echo in your living room, so that means you're lying on the floor, so that means that there's something wrong.." He speaks out. The cold wood under my back feels good as I stare at the ceiling fan going round and round. I'm not going to sit here and cry to him about missing him, or my fears or any of that because he won't be home for a long while. He still hasn't even gone to film the video yet.. All my complaining would do is make him feel awful that he can't be here, and I don't need that right now.

    "You are on speaker phone, and I am laying on the floor, but I was laying down here because it's cold, and I am in fact very hot." I tell him. " And no, I am not talking about temperature." He laughs into the speaker, and I wish I could smile, but his laugh only makes me miss him more.

    "You're funny, but you're not fooling me... What's wrong baby..." He speaks softer, and I'm not sure what it is... The world could be crumbling around me, but somehow I will manage to piece myself together enough to hold up the facade... That is until someone asks me what's wrong, then I feel my lip shake, and I feel my eyes well up... Just from that one simple question. I bite my lip, trying to keep it from quivering, and I blink my eyes, trying to get the tears to leave, but they don't disappear. They roll down my cheeks softly.

    "Nothing's wrong.. I'm fine." I tell him.

    "Darlene..." He speaks in a more stern voice, but it's full of concern.

    "I'm fine... Everything is fine, I promise. I'm... Okay I'm actually having lady problems this time, it's not just an excuse I came up with in the midst of my babbling." I admit, knowing we're close enough at this point for me to just say it.