Book of Randomness (Amory took over this book, I just--)

The typewriter font hurts my eyes. (𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚚𝚞𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 #𝟷𝟸)

I need another reference--

𝚂𝚘 𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚊 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎.

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Farris: Hey beautiful, you have a quarter?

Amory: No.

Farris: Cause I told my mom I'd call her when I fell in love.

Amory:

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Pinory: Mom, what do you think the meaning of life is?

Amory: Hm, that's a tricky one.

Amory: I guess it would be crushing your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!

Pinory + Pam: *scared*

Amory: Or having a family! It's pretty much the same.

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Jamara: *behind the wheel, in her ghost car* I never said we were going to the zoo.

Pinshiem: But you said we were going to see depressed out of shape creatures walking around in circles.

Jamara: Yep! We're going to the mall.

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Anvory: *wraps her body around Pinshion and is legit about to eat this man*

Pinshivo: *about to murder this man*

Pinshion: *chuckles* I'm in danger.

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Allory: I'm tired of people telling me to "go to the medic" and "you've lost a lot of blood." It's my severe head injury, not yours, mind your business.

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Plinshio: [look, I know we don't see eye to eye on things, but-]

Amera: Because you're short.

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Teacher: Pam, what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you over and over again?

Pam: Oh, easy. *pulls out a pencil*

Pam: I'd take a pencil out of my pencil case...

Teacher: To write something to your teacher?

Pam: Make sure that it's really sharp...

Pam: *throws pencil at a classmate* and ram it into their eye at full speed! Mom always said the pencil is mightier than the knife, because they can't outlaw bringing pencils to school!

Teacher: ...I'm calling your father, Pam.

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Amory: Hello, people who do not live here.

Penshiro: Hey.

Allory: Hi.

Punshugo: Hey!

Emory: Hello.

Amory: *to Pinshio* I gave you the key for emergencies.

Pinshio: We were out of Doritos.

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Pinshio: I really don't think you should drink anymore coffee today.

Amory: Coffee cures depression.

Pinshio: I don't think it works like th-

Amory: MORE EXPRESSO, LESS DEPRESSO.

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Pam: Shit.

Amory: Excuse me young lady, we don't use that shitty ass language in this goddamn mother fucking household.

 Pam: Wonder where I learned it from.

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Amory: Sometimes, I feel like dying.

Pinshio: wha-?

Amory: But then I remember I don't get to see you again when I die.

Pinshio: uwu

/

Ponshio: Sometimes, I feel like dying.

Amera: Good for you.

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Police: 911, what's your emergency?

Jamara: A monster broke into my house.

Pinshium: *across the room* Jamara, we're roommates! You're apart of Jamory, remember?

Jamara: *screams* It found me!

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Anmory: D-did you hear that? It s-sounded like...despair...

Ponshio: It's probably me.

Anmory: N-no...not rainbows...despair.

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Kidnapper: We have your daughter.

Pinshiem: I don't have a daughter.

Kidnapper: It says "Daddy" here on the contact name.

Pinshiem: OML THEY HAVE JAMARA--

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Jamara: Okay, I have an announcement.

Jamory: You pushed Pinshium out the window.

Jamara: That was yesterday's news.

Jamory: You shot Pinshivo?

Jamara: He's my best friend! I would never!

Jamara: Even though I hit Pinshion with your car. 

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Jamara: I am SO relieved you found me! Wait, how DID you find me?

Pinshiem: Well, I didn't see you stalking me for the past 5 hours, so I knew something was up.

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