Happy Musings of my Inner Critic

Giver's Remorse

Giver's Remorse

Was I used?

Was I abused?

I'm now confused.

Should I have refused?

Was I just scammed?

Well, I'll be damned.

I wish I could understand.

Why it is I should be slammed.

I gave when I had little.

Her request was noncommittal.

I could have turned her away.

But I thought not today.

She asked me to buy her food

Five children, single mom, out of a job

If she wasn't lying she was screwed.

I gave in with a sigh.

Trying not to question why.

I went back into the store to buy.

Choosing not to deny.

We are all in need, these days.

I'm hurting too but I knew

I had enough I could give.

And if I'm wrong, may God forgive.

Her daughter with her only eight

Needing food to put on the plate.

I wasn't sure if she was playing it straight.

I had my questions right out of the gate.

Still, put them aside.

Letting God be my guide.

Hoping despite my reservations

He knows that I tried.

She spent more then I intended.

Still had my doubts.

As the food bill added up

At the checkout.

Sad to say I had giver's remorse.

Hoping I helped, knowing I wasn't forced.

I stayed the course.

Hoping the example I set might reinforce.

To those two little eyes looking at me

Behind a facemask, there is good in this world

Still not sure, if I was being put to task.

But I could have said no, Mom did nothing but ask.

Either way,

if she was in trouble

or if this is how lives day to day

She was in need, had children to feed.

Still wish I could feel good about what I've done

And not feel as though I was taken in by someone.

Sad when you've done a good deed.

Helped someone in need.

And have to worry that you were subject

to someone else's greed.

I did what could.

What I think I should.

Hoping my actions are understood.

I'm just trying to do some good.