Discovering Spencer

1. Golden Blonde

So last night, the night before going back to school, I dyed my hair blonde. Like really blonde, golden blonde to be exact.

I was trying to sleep but so much was on my mind that I couldn't. My eyes were wide open staring up at the bland ceiling when thoughts after thoughts crossed my mind. I was going to be a junior, at sixteen; I still hadn't had a boyfriend. The guy that I hopelessly liked didn't even know I existed and my best friend was moving up the social ladder leaving me to scathe behind.

Over the summer things were getting to me. I was surely but slowly falling with no one to pick me up. So last night I dyed my hair. I did it because it felt like I had nothing lose and I desperately needed to try something new. The box of Clairol perfect 10-lightest blonde had been in my bathroom cabinet for almost a week now. I had purchased it on what started as a whim.

Quinn Stewart who is this loud-freaky-kind-of-pretty-slutty-girl that I'm scared of made me do it. She has this cold blank stare look she gives people. It always looks like her eyes are rolling to the back of her head as if she's having a seizure. She didn't have that look on her face when I ran into her at our neighborhood CVS where she works.

When I went to buy the latest issue of Seventeen magazine she looked happy, a wide grin plastered on her deadly baby doll face. She asked me if I needed help looking for anything and I said no but what I did do was give her a compliment on her hair which was a wild combo of pastel blue, pink and purple.

"Thanks," she said, while chewing the crap out of a piece of gum.

I didn't know employees could chew gum on the job especially while assisting customers. "You should dye your hair too." She said biting down hard on the gum. "That would be so cool." She went on to say. Before I even got a chance to tell her no she was already on the next sentence. "You should go pink or dark purple or Rihanna red." She said. "Red would look really good on you."

"No thanks," I told her.

"C'mon what have you got to lose?"

"I don't wanna look like a poser."

"You won't," she assured me. "You could use the change." she said then prompted to lift a few strings of my hair with her oxblood red manicured finger nails. "Your hair is definitely holding you back girl, like to the extreme." she added.

Although she said it sounding very casual it struck me like I had just got knocked out on the cold cement floor. I knew what she meant when she said my hair was holding me back. All my life my hair had been the same, light brown, long and boring. I get it trimmed every three months and that was okay with me.

When she referenced my hair she wasn't just talking about my hair only, she was talking about my life and it became too scary all of a sudden. Without looking I grabbed a box of something in the beauty aisle and took off to pay for it before she could add any more life changing comments that could lead me into making anymore hasty purchases.

I hadn't actually planned on dying my hair because I wasn't going to let someone I've had, like, six conversations with influence my decision when it came to my hair, albeit the fact that she was right of course. I had contemplated doing it several times but a voice in the back of my head said it wouldn't be a good idea. My mom would freak, not to mention I would look like a major wannabe. But after experiencing the moments I was having last night I just did it. I woke up at 11 something to do it.

After blow drying it and seeing myself in the mirror I was pleased, really pleased. I didn't look like myself, I mean I still had the same piercing blue eyes, a dash of freckles on my face, too pink lips and petite oval face but somehow I looked different. The hair made such a difference, it popped my face out there in a sense where I could be a in a room and anyone could notice me.

It wasn't exactly the change I was looking for at first but seeing myself in front of the mirror made me happy. Quinn Stewart, the girl I've been deathly afraid of for so many years caused me to be happy. I guess people can make a difference in your life when you least expect it.