Discovering Spencer

2. The beginning of the end

The first day of school is always scary. You don't know what to expect, everything is hectic and out of order.

When I was little I used to love the first day of school, it might as well have been a holiday for me. The built up excitement I used to get over the summer was what made me love it so much, new clothes, new teachers, new friends and seeing your old ones again. I never used to care about what happened on that day because nothing in the world could ruin my joy. Over the years my attitude changed. I realized that there was actually nothing glorious about going back to school. Summer's over, you have to go back to the hell mouth that is school and pretend to care about what you're learning.

For me the idea was so nauseating I tried not to think about it and that was exactly what I did this morning as I got ready. Took a shower, brushed my teeth, brushed my new blonde hair and not once did the idea of school remotely crossed my mind. When I went to my closet to pick out an outfit to wear that's when I started feeling nauseous. Picking out a first day of school outfit was highly important. You wanna make sure you make a statement but not enough of a statement where you end up looking like a fool.

A few weeks back my mom handed me an envelope with five hundred dollars to buy clothes and school supplies with. With what little I made working over the summer as an aid at my aunt's day care center my total came to be nearly eight hundred dollars. I took half of it and blew it on at various stores at the mall and saved half for when I'll need it the most.

With the new items I added to my wardrobe and my old stuff, my closet became too packed. I couldn't figure out what to wear. I'm not one of those girls who plan their outfits days before so my mornings are usually spent standing in front of my closet scoping out something to wear. I found myself in that predicament this morning. After a while looking I settled on a pair of ripped boyfriend jeans, bright tribal tee and my new pair of D.I.Y spiked white converse.

I looked nice, different comparing to what I looked like last year. I wanted to so badly take a picture and text it to my Chloe but we're not on speaking terms anymore. I felt like crying as I headed downstairs. So much has changed over the summer, too much has changed.

♥♥♥

"Spencer you know your mom's going to be pissed at you for this," my dad said, making the last left turn under the traffic light heading to Wilson High. "What would prompt you to do something like that?"

"It's just hair dad," I said, but what I really wanted to say was if I didn't do it I probably wouldn't get out of bed to go to school today.

"I know it's just hair," he mocked my voice. "You could have at least told us you were planning on changing it."

"It was a last minute decision," I said curtly

"Well I hope you're ready for your mom's wrath," he said.

I slumped my back on the seat lowering my head down a little as we approached the school. I was getting closer and closer to hell and I felt like hurling. I had a feeling that mom's wrath wouldn't hold up to the day I was about to have. I love her to death but she over reacts about everything where as my dad is more lenient. I guess his leniency has to do with the fact that he's practically at home all the time.

Dad is an artist, graphic designer and illustrator. He designs book covers and album covers for various artists and authors. Most of his days are spent in the basement which he calls his "studio" or spending time with Todd (little brother) and I. My mom on the other hand saves life working as an emergency room nurse at the hospital. Most of her nights are spent working the night shift at the hospital.

My throat started to dry up a little when we got to the student parking lot for my dad to drop me off. Seeing everyone in close groups talking and catching up made me miss Chloe even more. We usually met up in the courtyard with the rest of our friends every morning to hang out before heading to class. This particular morning I wasn't sure where to go. I had a grand total of no friends. The other girls who I considered my "friends" only hung out with me because Chloe was their friend. So they had to put up with me by association.

Once Chloe cut all ties between us, they also did too because she was the glue that held us together. After the incident happened I received a text from all of them checking up on me. I hung out with them a few times over the summer but over time we all eventually fell out like leaves on a tree.

From what I heard Chloe wasn't hanging out with them either. She was done with me and them as well. She belonged to a new clan, the clan of stupid bitches who told her that I wasn't cool enough to hang out with her anymore. So now I'm left to endure the first day of school all by myself.

"All right I'll see you later blondie," dad said chuckling. I couldn't believe it took him the entire school ride to finally make a joke.

"Bye dad," I said, not really moving. I un-strapped my seatbelt and took a deep breathe. My hand is clutching the passenger door but I can't muster up the courage to get out.

"Here's lunch money Spence," My dad is holding out a twenty to me. I wanted tell him that I had money but I couldn't speak so I just grabbed it and folded it inside my sweaty palm. "Have a nice day."

I said nothing to him just a blank stare on my face.

"Gees," He whined. "You have a nice day too dad." He mocked my voice again. I finally opened the door, slid out my seat and out the car.

"Bye dad, thanks for the ride."

"Okay call or text me if you want me or your mother to come pick you up."

"What do you mean if?" I asked. "Why wouldn't I want you to pick me up?

"I don't know," He shrugged. "You might wanna leave with a friend of yours, probably Chloe and you might want to do something after school together."

"Oh," I was taken aback. "Right."

He smiled at me and it's like watching me smile at myself. We looked so much alike. "Okay I love you."

"I love you too," I said without smiling but I do really mean it. We waved bye to each other and he took off in his black Volvo. I guess I should have told him and mom that Chloe and I aren't exactly friends anymore due to events that occurred over the summer. My mom and Chloe's mom are friendly with each other; they talk every now and again. Mom hadn't confronted me about Chloe yet which means she didn't know, and I'm guessing Chloe didn't tell her mother either or maybe she did and her mom is siding with her and she wants nothing to do with my mom. It was all very confusing.

I began to walk really fast because I didn't want anyone to notice me. I had no clue where I was going. I couldn't go to homeroom yet because there was 15 minutes before the first bell rung but I could go early which is such a loser move. Who shows up early to homeroom on the first day? I did not want to committ social suicide.

I walked up the steps by the library. I was standing between the six-hundred halls and the library. A few miles ahead I could see the walkway to the cafeteria. I walked up the walkway and there was a roundabout to the courtyard where half the population of the school could be found. I changed course not that I had a destination in mind to begin with and slowed my pace heading to the courtyard.

"Bennett!" I heard someone scream my last name. I stopped abruptly I didn't know what direction to turn. I heard it again. "Hey Bennett!" It sounded like a shout now. I turned around quickly. Part of me was hoping that it was Chloe finally coming to her senses. I was hoping that she realized that the mindless drones didn't have anything to offer her after all and decided to come back to me. A small smile began to spread across my lips.

"Shit!" I murmured under my breath. My hopes were crushed immediately when I saw who it was, Quinn Stewart marching towards me. Her hair was now cut into a messy crop haircut in the colors of lavender, baby blue and pink. She was wearing a pair of acid wash jeans and a black shirt with tons of white up-side down crosses on it.

As she got closer it seemed that she might have gotten taller. That couldn't be right? I looked down at her feet and she was wearing these super high velvet shoes with silver buckles, I think they're called creepers. Why would someone name shoes creepers?

"Hey," she said catching her breath when she finally reached me.

"Hi," I replied back with a fake smile. I did not wanna be in her presence, let alone talk to her. She was looking at me with a scary grin and all I could think about was running as far away from her or punching her dead in the face.