Rescue Me || Bellarke AU

22. Whispers In The Dark.

Whispers in the dark - by Skillet.

Bellamy woke the next morning feeling better than he had in days. He still felt guilty and his body ached all over. Despite all that, he still felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. A small part of him still felt like he was moving too fast. Could he really allow Clarke to see his vulnerable side? He'd admitted to her that he had feelings for her. But how far did those feelings really go? It felt like his life had taken a crazy turn ever since Clarke came into his life.

Thinking of Clarke brought the memories of the night before flooding back. He let his head roll to the side. There beside him, sound asleep, was Clarke herself. The bruises had almost completely gone but Clarke still had dark circles under her eyes, proving she hadn't been sleeping. She was also a lot skinnier than when Bellamy had first met her. All kinds of thoughts spun around Bellamy's mind as he watched Clarke sleep.

He wondered how different things may have been if he hadn't been so cold and harsh to her at the start. What would have happened if he'd never met Cage at the warehouse that night. Would he have still found Clarke? Would her mother still be alive? Would he have developed these feelings for Clarke at all?

Bellamy looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. His hand came up to rest over his eyes as he squeezed them shut tightly. He let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. Everything was so complicated.

"Stop blaming yourself." A soft voice beside him whispered.

Bellamy opened his eyes and looked at Clarke.

"You can't keep blaming yourself Bellamy. It'll destroy you." Clarke whispered again.

"It already has." Bellamy said softly. So softly, it didn't even sound like him.

Clarke shuffled closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Bellamy hesitated before wrapping an arm around her, pulling her closer.

"If I could go back and change everything, I would. Not just me screwing up and giving him your number. All of it. The way I treated you, the way I shut you out." Bellamy swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

"Bellamy.." Clarke whispered.

"No, I need to say this." Bellamy interrupted. He turned onto his side to face her and Clarke mimicked his actions, facing him.

"If I'd have just given you a chance to start with, maybe things would have been different. If I knew then, what I know now, I never would have been so selfish."

"Bellamy, he would have found me no matter what. I should have told you both from day one about Cage and what he was capable of. I put you both in danger because I was scared of what you'd say if you knew." Clarke looked into his eyes as she spoke to him.

Bellamy ran a gentle hand over her face, brushing some loose hair behind her ear. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

"We both made mistakes. What matters now is we understand each other." Bellamy attempted to smile.

Clarke sat up and ran a hand through her hair. Bellamy looked at her in confusion.

"Clarke?"

Clarke looked over her shoulder and Bellamy sat up instantly when he saw the tears spill from her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Clarke whispered.

"For what?" Bellamy wiped a tear away from her face.

"For dragging you into this for starters." Clarke looked down at the sheets.

"Clarke, we've been through this. It's not your fault, it's mine." Bellamy said sternly.

"It's not just that." Clarke sighed. "I promised myself I wouldn't let myself fall for another guy so quickly. I told myself I wouldn't let my heart get destroyed again."