T/W- lots of anger and crying ig
Scream- give a long, loud, piercing cry or cries expressing extreme emotion or pain.
When I was little I had this bear that was in many ways my only friend at the age of three.
I called him Lucas he was given to me by late grandfather I was so attached to that thing that whenever my mom tried to wash it or anything I wouldn't let her because I thought it would hurt him until one day she told me that the bear can't actually feel anything. Almost like it's numb. I didn't understand what that meant the idea of not feeling things.
Now it feels like I understand it completely.
I just feel as I'm walking through life this cycle of despair is practically a routine. Wake up throw on any clothes I can find go to school have a panic attack somewhere during the day come home collapse into bed until it all starts again. It makes me sick.
But I bare it preparing for another day like that.
"Jonah wait eat something please sweetie" my mom asked before I walked out the door
"I'll eat at school" I told her
"But you didn't eat dinner last night and you barley eat breakfast I would like to see you eat now" she told me
"I'm gonna be late"
"Jonah I know you didn't want to talk about Cyrus but you do know if there's something wrong you can tell me right?" She pleaded
"Yeah" I breathed nodding "but not now"
With that I walked out closing the door behind me.
As I got to school I saw Cyrus and TJ next to the entrance TJ waved at me to signal me to come over. Cyrus got his attention shaking his head telling him not too.
That hurt like a punch in the stomach.
I headed to my own locker taking out my books before homeroom. Just as the intercom went off the halls went silent to listen in as our Miss Bartons voice came on.
"Can Jonah Beck make his way to my office immediately that Jonah Beck."
My face flushed red as I froze a few eyes went on me some of them curious some judgemental. I shut my locker quickly going to the principles office.
Sitting in there felt police interrogation. My palms sweating even though she sat there with a smile I don't think I'm in any trouble.
But it's never fun being publicly called to your principles office.
"Good morning Jonah you are probably wondering why you've been called here"
"Yeah I am" I spoke sheepishly
"Well I'm here to check everything is okay with you"
"I'm sorry I don't understand" I said
"Well one of your friends I should think raised their concerns about you and I checked with a few of your teachers they said you have been distant in class and-"
"Which friend? Was it Cyrus?" I asked
"No and I can't tell you in afriad" she said a little startled by my outburst "But I care about your well being is there something going on at home?"
"No and even if there was it's non of your business I'm fine" I firmly told her
"Well I can see you are not in the mood to talk about this but when you are my office is always open and you can also see our guidance counsellor" she smiled warmly with her stupid yet sweet accent.
YOU ARE READING
Feelings are fatal
Fanfiction"I'm always sad and I'm always lonely but I'd never tell you that I'm breaking slowly" As Jonah enters high school with his friends it appears harder than he expected. With the feeling that he's losing his friends and his anxiety getting worse he kn...
