Abnormal-deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying.
I stirred the bowl of cereal in front of me letting the contents letting go soggy. As much as I begged her not too my mom was taking to me to school this is part the reason I didn't want to tell her I knew she would treat me like a baby or like I wasn't normal.
"Jonah have you thought about which therapist you'd like too see?"
I'd been trying to avoid that conversation for a while now I knew it was coming when my mom handed me some brochures she picked up about some local therapists.
"No I haven't yet... Are you sure we can afford it?" I wondered
"I'm not sure yet but the sooner you pick someone I can see if it covers our health insurance besides you don't need to worry about that worry about you." She tapped her nails on the counter nervously this is also why I'd been putting off telling them I knew we'd struggle.
"Okay" I nodded
"Come on lets get you to school" She said ruffling my hair
---
I was sat in study hall not really doing anything but thinking about which therapist I should see. I wanted to try, I really wanted too I just couldn't shake the feeling of uncertainty about it I can hardly talk to the people I know and love how am I supposed to talk too a stranger in some office about how I feel? I saw Cyrus and Buffy walk into the library waving at me I smiled in their direction as they came over and sat opposite me.
"Hey Jonah, how are you?" Buffy asked cautiously
"I'm good" I answered
"Okay just Cyrus kinda told the group everything" Buffy confessed
"Cyrus?!"
"I'm sorry we were talking at lunch and they just kept asking me questions about you and why you were acting so weird I couldn't hide it from them" He said
"It's okay I've have bigger things to think about I huffed"
"Like what?" Buffy wondered
"I told my parents a couple nights ago" I confessed
"That's great news" Cyrus grinned
"We've been talking about getting me to see a therapist"
"That's a good thing isn't it?" Buffy wondered
"Yes but my mom wants me to make this decision fast so she can see if we can afford it or not and I don't know the whole idea of talking to a stranger about my problems makes me feel... abnormal" I huffed
"First of all, you are not abnormal, Jonah. A lot of people go to therapy. Second, therapy can be weird, especially at first. I don't blame you for being hesitant about it." Cyrus reassured
"Really?"
"Totally and It should be your decision ultimately whether or not you feel comfortable with it or not" Buffy said.
"Also if you want my advice I think it would help you a great deal you are good at talking to people whether you realise it or not but of course it completely your decision" Cyrus said
"Thanks that really helped" I smiled faintly
"Wait" Cyrus paused "Didn't you say my dad helped you during your first panic attack?" I nodded
"Well you're familiar with him and he wouldn't do it for free at course but he would definitely go at reasonable price if you're not too disturbed about seeing your friends dad for therapy I could talk to him for you" He looked at me hopeful
"Thanks Cyrus I think that would be the best thing actually" I nodded
"Okay awesome" He smiled
"We're proud of you Jonah I know none of us have told you that but we are we will also always be here for you"
Buffy came round an hugged me from where I was sitting which I returned gratefully. I felt Cyrus come round and wrap his arms around Buffy and I as well. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Thanks guys" I choked
"Just another service we provide" They giggled
Ah sorry this took so long to get out man college is chaotic anyways I appreciate you guys being patient and sticking around to read this :)
Love Lj xxx
YOU ARE READING
Feelings are fatal
Fanfic"I'm always sad and I'm always lonely but I'd never tell you that I'm breaking slowly" As Jonah enters high school with his friends it appears harder than he expected. With the feeling that he's losing his friends and his anxiety getting worse he kn...
