Blind Love

Chapter 7

A picture of Ivan above.

Just as he was about to talk, Sofia's phone rang. It was Aline, her secretary.
"Excuse me, Mikhail. I've got to take this call."
Aline's jovial voice filled the line as she answered.
"Sofia. How are you, dear? Mr Francis called to cancel his appointment. But Mrs Eleanor called for her son, Bradley. She said that it was urgent."

Bradley was a nine years old who suffered Post Traumatic Stress disorder after having nearly drowned in his grandparents' pool. She had been working with him for about three weeks now. He was one of the sweetest children she had ever worked with.
"Mr Francis's appointment was scheduled for this afternoon, right?" After her secretary's affirmation, she continued, "Call Mrs Eleanor and tell her that I'm free at that time."

Sofia turned to Mikhail after the phone call ended.
"I'm sorry, Mikhail. Please continue."
"I really don't know where to start. I don't want to talk about my childhood. At least not yet."
She did not probe as she felt that he could easily retrieve back into his hard shelf. Mikhail was like a frightened animal that needed to be coaxed out of its hideout.
"Then tell me apart from anxiety, do you have any particular symptoms?"
"I have nightmares every night. That's why I don't like to sleep. It's always the same nightmare over and over."
"Would you like to tell me about it?" she said gently.

He cupped his face and sighed. He rubbed one hand over his face and stared blankly towards the window.
"In this nightmare I wake up. It really really dark; I can barely see a thing. I want to call for Ivan but I can't speak. Suddenly I hear gunshots. They are so loud that my ears start buzzing. I want to hide but I can't move. Then it just silence again. When I try to move again, I see that the floor is covered in water and the water level keeps in rising. Then it feels as if I am drowning and falling down a tunnel at the same time. I fall on the ground of my room and hear a baby crying. There is a white crib in the extremity of the room. The baby's cries become louder and louder and I move to comfort him. But there is nothing but blood in the crib. Then I wake up. It's always like that."

His voice was shaking and he rubbed a hand on his forehead. A migrain started to hurt him.
"Mikhail, I want you to do certain exercises for me everyday. There are some breathing exercises that could help you. It will help with the anxiety and migraine. Your dreams are trying to tell you something. But you need to get some rest to be able to fight your demons, okay? I'll give you some medicines but you have to take them."
"Please doc, no more medicines. I can't take them anymore."
"Okay then. You will have to do certain exercises for me. This will make you tired. Maybe this can help you."

Mikhail felt lighter. He felt really at ease with her but it was probably just because it was her job.
"I'll recommend a physio who can help you with the exercises."
"You won't help me with this?" he exclamed.
Panic bloomed inside his head. He did not want anyone but her to help him. He trusted her and he would never open up to anyone else. Was she abandoning him? His heart hurt. Bloof rushed to his ears as he felt himself running out of breath.

"Hey Mikhail! Stay with me", she said holding his hand.
He was having a panic attack. Her heart broke as she watched him. He seemed so strong and confident. But he was breaking in front of her.
"Mikhail, hear my voice. Breathe slowly. Inhale. Exhale. You can do it. You can fight it."
She kneeled in front of him and placed his hand over her chest.
"Here. I'm doing it with you. Inhale... Exhale."
He followed her chest movements, his heartbeat synchronizing with hers. His breathing turned calm again as he listened to her voice. She kept talking to him, anchoring him with the sound of her voice.

"Where would you be?" he whispered.
Sofia then understood what caused his panic attack. She squeezed his hand which was on her chest.
"I am not leaving you, Mikhail. No one's leaving you. But I will be very busy this week. I won't be able to come see you. It doesn't mean that I won't be present if you need me. There are other persons who need me too."
"Okay", he exhaled shakily, "But I don't want any physio."
"Then I'll have Ivan and Flora help you. It will be good for Flora to perfom the breathing exercises. I meant what I said about being your friend. I will not leave you alone. Ivan told me that you had a specialised phone. I'll add my number to the important numbers. You will just have to press one and you will call me, okay. You can call me at anytime you want. Like this, we'll keep on talking."

He nodded. He suddenly became away that his hand was pressed against her chest. He felt her breasts soft underneath his hand. He swallowed as her warmth was sipping in his skin. He blushed hard. She seemed to become aware at the same time and her cheeks turned bright red. She got up and configured his phone. She was painfully aware of her feminine core throbbing in her pants. She took in a deep breath and gathered her things.
"I have to leave, Mikhail. I'm really sorry but I'll have to cancel for tomorrow. But I'll make it up to you, I promise."

The blond's heart squeezed painfully. He did not want her to leave. He felt serene with her. He wanted to plead her not to leave him alone. He had never felt so vulnerable towards someone before. He craved her presence but it terrified him at the same time. He was Mikhail De Luca- once feared and respected. What would Emilio say if he saw him like this? He could never let a woman make him feel like this. So he just nodded.
"Get some rest. You need it."
"Thank you, Sofia", he said.

Her name on his tongue sounded like ambrosia. She wanted to savour this moment but she needed to go to work.
"Goodbye Mikhail. I'll see you soon."
"Goodbye Sofia", he murmured.
He heard her fading footsteps and the closing of the door. The room felt colder. But he shrugged it off. He should stop being such a pussy. He did not need anyone.
He made his way carefully towards his bed and closed his eyes.
But he instantly knew that he was wrong - he needed her. He had never felt such a strong pull towards someone. And for once when he fell asleep, he did not have any nightmare.

Sofia made her way towards her office in her cabinet. She smiled as she saw a bright eyes brunette waving at her. Aline stood up and engulfed her in a tight hug. She was about 5'8 which made her much taller than Sofia. She was thin, with tall pale legs. She was in her early thirties. The two had been friends since orphanage. She had known Aline for a longer time than Flora but they had lost each other when Aline left the orphanage at eighteen. They later met at an art exposition of a common friend.
The two were really close and Sofia knew that she could trust her. Her friend was bubbly and loved partying.
"Has any patient arrived yet?"
"No, you still got a free hour. And I thought that we could use this time to chat a little bit. You've been really busy with Flora lately and I missed you", she said pouting.

Aline thought that she was spending more time with Flora but if only she knew. Sofia was exhausted but she loved spending time with the funny Aline. She nodded and tried to keep her mind off a certain blond. She couldn't help feel a longing in her heart. She had seen his face when she was leaving. She just hoped that he would keep on fighting. In fighting mental illness, we were our biggest enemies.