Blind Love

Chapter 21

The rest of the dinner was a blur. The silence was oppressive and thick. Even the kids glanced quietly between Mikhail and Sofia. The brunette was glaring at him while he ignored her and focused on eating his soup. Sofia wished he would choke on it; at least he would not remain this stoic. Ivan cleared his throat as if to break the silence but he remained quiet as the tension seemed to thicken. Sofia knew she was being a killjoy but she could not care less. She wanted to be petty. She was deeply hurt and the more he ignored her, the more the pain deepened. She would be petty.
He came to her after 18 months. 18 long months and he had the audacity not to speak to her as if she had not mattered. As if he did not miss her. Or had he really not missed her?

The pain stung her heart and she glared at him more vehemently. She had longed for him, longed to smell him, longed to hold him... and he did not care. Had he met someone else? She wanted her thoughts to stop as they were causing her more distress but she could not help herself. Her mind was her biggest enemy right now, hurting her with all the possibilities. Her eyes stung from holding her tears and she couldn't take it anymore. She had never felt so pathetic and lost before because of a man. After the death of her father, she vowed to never open her heart to someone else because love killed her dad. The love for her mother and his illness was too much for him to handle. But she understood him now. She understood the pain he had felt when he thought her mom cheated. When she found out about Hector's double life, she was only wounded in her ego. She was angry he had cheated on her but she was not devastated. But now, it felt as if her heart was being ripped open.
She excused herself, pretending that she had a headache and needed to rest. As soon as her head hit her pillow behind the closed door of her room, her tears flooded out. She let out a silent scream into the silky material, wanting the ache to go away. She loved him but he did not love her back. She yearned for him, his warmth, his smell but he was indifferent to her. Surely he must have met someone else. Someone who was not touched by his brother. She let out an ironic giggle, borrowing her face even more. She had fucked her psyco brother - of course, he would not want her. She made him relive the tragedy of Rina. Her sleeping with his brother, Emilio going into a jealous rage, Mikhail nearly losing her. She tried to reason herself, tried to use her knowledge of the human mind to talk her way out of her chaotic thoughts but she could not. No matter what breathing technique she used. No matter to how much she counted. Nothing worked.

She was so deep in her thoughts that she was startled as she felt a firm hand caressing her head.
"Shhh", Mikhail whispered, his voice trembling.
Her voice broke into a loud sob as she tried to make sense of everything. Next thing she knew, he had scooped her and laid her on his lap, gently rocking her back and forth as he caressed her hair. She held onto him tight, too tight but she was afraid that if she let him go, he would disappear.
"I'm sorry", Mikhail finally said after she calmed down.
She gritted her teeth, her anger coming back.
"You did not call. I waited for you. You told me you would meet me soon when I left. Fuck Mikhail. You did not even say goodbye to me."
Mikhail was glad the room was sound proof as her voice went up in crescendo.
"I did not even deserve a goodbye?! And then you come back after 18 months. 18 fucking long months and you have the nerve... the audacity not to say a word."
Mikhail deserved everything, every scream and even more. He fucked up bad.
Sofia got up to stand directly in front of him. She jabbed a finger into his chest.
"Did I ever mean something to you?"
His eyes held so much emotions as he held her eyes, hands cupping her face.
"You mean everything. Don't you understand? You mean everything", he whispered.
His voice resonated across the room louder than a scream.
"I was so scared when I saw you lying there. And I knew I could not protect you back then. I know my brother, he would not have stopped knowing you were still alive. I was not strong enough to protect you, Sofia and I did not want to risk losing you."
"Then you made the choice to push me away", she said, her voice full of accusations.
Mikhail was caught off guard by her words. He understood how she felt. He was so preoccupied with her physical safety that he had disregarded everything else. It had killed him not to talk to her for so long but he was motivated by the will to protect her. He had isolated her from her friends, sent her away while she had to heal from the trauma caused by his brother. From what Flora told him before he entered her room, she had mostly suffered alone, not wanting to feel like a burden. He cursed at his own stupidity.

"I am so sorry, Sofia. You are so strong. I wanted to protect you so bad and I thought that being in contact with you would jeopardize your safety. You were so strong but I am here now. You helped me before. Let me help you now."
She wanted to let go, to lean on him. She was so tired and he looked so strong and solid in front of her. She did not resist as he pulled her closer onto the bed. She did not resist as he laid her next to him and curled his body over hers. She did not resist as he wrapped his arm around her and tucked her half way under his body. He was the big spoon, engulfing her with his warmth. She listened to steady rise and fall of his chest, her own body synchronizing to his. He was this soothing force next to her and she fell into slumber.

She jerked awake after a few hours, feeling suddenly lonely and cold. She was alone in the dark. Has she dreamed that Mikhail was here? Had she dreamed everything? She sighed. She rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. She heard the door to her room opened and closed. She thought it might be Flora checking on her as she did not hear any footsteps. Flora would check on her every night when she thought Sofia was asleep. She could not tell her friend that she was aware of this as she knew her friend needed to know that she was safe. She pulled up the duvet and felt the other side of the bed sank.
"Are you awake, mi reina? I was with the kids. They had been pestering me to see you because they were worried about you. They won't talk to me because they know I made you sad. But now, they are finally asleep. Everybody is asleep." Mikhail whispered kissing her head.
She nearly cried at the sound of his voice. She had not dreamt. He was really here with her. She turned and noticed something different. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness and she could see with the dim moonlight entering the room throughthe windows. He was as breathtaking as always but his eyes were locked into hers.

She sat to face him and cupped his face. He smiled, showing his perfectly pearly white teeth. He was so infuriatingly perfect. His eyes watered as he cupped her face as well.
"You are so beautiful. More than I have imagined."
"You can see?" she whispered, ecstatic and shocked at the same time.
He nodded, caressing her hair and tugging at the bun, trying to let her hair loose.
Sofia froze and grabbed his hand.
"Baby... I have curly hair and I have it in a bun right now. It won't come out pretty. And this cold is not doing my curls good."
Mikhail kissed her, stopping her rambling.
"I don't fucking care. I love you. I want you. I want to see all of you. I missed you so much. I just want to hold you close."
Sofia wanted to forget the pain, even though it would be just for a brief moment. She wanted to forget that a murderous psychopath was obsessed with her or that Mikhail had not contacted for all this time. She wanted to forget the ache in her chest every time she thought about the people she had left behind. She straddled him and began kissed him hard. Mikhail moaned and grabbed her waist. He was already hard beneath her. She shivered, breaking the contact with his mouth and leaving a trail of kisses down his neck. She tugged at his trousers, trying to remove them but he held her hands.
"Love, I think we should stop."
"Why? You want this. I can feel it", she replied, grinding on his cock.
He bit his lip, refraining a moan as he stilled her hip with his hand.
"I don't want to take advantage of you. I can see that you are not okay baby. I want you. I want every part of your body but right now, we should talk."
"I need you, Mikhail. I want to forget. I want to feel only you. Please I need you", she whispered.

Mikhail caved in; the little resolution he had left him as soon as her lips touched his again. He was going to burst in his trousers. He had to have her right now. Their tongues danced in a fast and brutal motion, both hungry for each other. They were both naked in a blink of an eye. Sofia shivered at the contact of his skin against hers. She was lying on her back, her body already hot and ready for him. However, Mikhail was taking his time. He was mesmerized by her body, by every curves and every edges. He was memorizing her features, engraving them in his brain. He had never wanted a woman more than he wanted her. He had never desired another woman this much. He only wanted to bury himself deep inside of her but he wanted to savour this instant. She impatiently wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer. He chuckled and kissed her forehead. He locked eyes with hers and waited. She nodded, understanding his silent question. He was so big; she knew it would hurt.
He entwined his left fingers with hers and used his right hand to guide his cock inside her. She gasped as she felt his tip nudging at her entrance. She felt a pool of warm passed through her body. She wanted more. She needed more. He slowly pushed his length inside her, widening her feminine core. She winced, tears building in her eyes. She had never been stretched this much before. She loved the sensation but the invasion was still painful. Mikhail moaned as soon as entered her tight warm pussy. He had been so long without a woman that he had forgotten the feeling. But he could not go as fast and brutal as he wanted. He kissed her face, he'd mouth and her forehead as he wanted for her body to become accustomed to his. He told her how much he loved her. And when she was ready, he showed her how much he loved her using his body.