Blind Love

Chapter 14

That was his greatest shame; his darkest secret. His hands were tainted by the very blood that he should have cherished. He hated himself for that and hadn't had the will to live. He had been barely surviving because dying would have been a relief. He wanted to suffer- needed to suffer for the life he had taken.
He knew that Sofia's face was contorted with fear, disgust and anguish. She now saw him for who he really was; a monster. He had not wanted to tell her but she deserved to know.

Sofia's head buzzed with Mikhail's voice. She looked at him. His golden hair was dancing gently with the breeze, his green eyes trying to see. Her stomach churned and she clenched her hands on her thighs.
"Why?" she managed to say after several heartbeats, "tell me what happened."
"I had a fiancée named Ekaterina... Rina for short. We grew up together but we weren't from the same class."
Mikhail closed his eyes. He could still hear Rina's and his laughter as he chased her through the corridors when his father wasn't home. She was the maid's daughter while he was the boss's son. It was the perfect set up for a love story. He played with the sand in front of him in an absent-minded way.
"She was beautiful and had the softest voice that I've ever heard."
Sofia couldn't help the pinch of jealousy that she felt.

"She had blonde hair, so long that they nearly swept the floor and turquoise eyes. She was so kind to me. And she wanted us to get married as soon as we turned twenty seven."
She had been a fresh breeze through his dull childhood.
"Her mother was my father's mistress and as Rina grew up into a tall, slender beauty, my father became interested in her. She was really breathtaking and she knew it. You see, doc, she grew up in extreme poverty. So she did what she could to survive. When she understood that her looks could buy her anything, she began to drive men crazy. She really loved me but she loved money even more."
He took in a deep breath. Rina knew how to use her sensuality to bind a man at her will. Mikhail had always told her to be careful but she always wanted more money. He didn't blame her for using sex to get her way but he blamed her for ruining her chances of getting away from that lifestyle.

"I didn't love her, not in the way she wanted. I was young and stupid. I wanted to make my father pay for everything. So when he made her mistress, we began fooling around. She did not care, my father was giving her so much money while I was getting my revenge. When my father died, I made her my fiancée because I wanted to have my best friend by my side. She could feel that I couldn't love her though. And she always wanted more money and attention, so she cheated. I couldn't care less, you know. I cared about her deeply but I didn't love her."
Sofia's heart was drumming in her chest at this point.
"She came to me one day and told me that she was pregnant but didn't know who the father was. I told her to fuck off, I didn't want to accept another man's child. I was so stupid. Then she showed me a picture from the echography. I was mesmerized. I knew that from this instance, whether the kid was mine or not, I would take care of him."

"But she had been playing with my brother all this time. She was engaged to him also. She had promised him so much and Emilio being the deranged person that he was, he hadn't differentiated the truth from all of her fake promises. She had turned into a true gold digger and I never thought that the sweet little girl I knew would grow up like this. My brother and I fought and he tried to kill me. We finally managed to compromise; Rina was his but he had to give me the baby as neither of them wanted him. On the day of my accident, Rina came to me, beaten black and blue. She was nine months pregnant. At that time, we knew that the baby was Emilio's. She wanted to run away because he became so abusive and jealous. He always feared that she would come back to me. She did but I constantly rejected her, she was no longer the Rina I knew and cared about. But that day, she was in a bad shape and feared for her life and she wanted me to help her."

Mikhail could still hear her sobbing and pleading. Her mascara was running down her bruised cheeks. Her long hair was plastered on either side of her face.
"I was trying to get her and the baby to a safe place but Emilio came. He fired the first bullets. I fired back. One of my bullets rebound and hit Rina's belly. She screamed so loudly and she kept on saying that the baby was dead. Emilio fired another shot at her and she was silenced. I was in shock. He looked at me and told me that I was the reason they were dead. I tried to get her to the hospital but I passed out on the wheel and the next thing I knew, I was in the hospital bed."

Sofia was lost for word. How could she ever comfort him from that? She took his hand and squeezed.
"I am really sorry for your loss. But it was an accident, Mikhail."
"Accident or not, I am the reason they are dead. Even though he was still a fœtus, I loved him so much. I had never wanted anything more in my life. They didn't even get a proper burial. I was told that the car exploded shortly after I was pulled out of it."
He wanted to scream. The baby; his baby was innocent and he lost his life because of greed and human stupidity. He felt angry at the world. Since he had been a kid, he had been through so much but each time, he managed to remain strong. After the death of his child, he simply lost it.
"He was my baby, you know. For the first time in my life, when I looked at his echo, I felt like I had really found my purpose. For once, I felt like I belong to someone. But he was taken away from me."
He knew he was probably cursed because everything he touched died eventually.

"After his death, I couldn't bear to be happy. How could I be happy while I was the reason of his death? He was everything I've ever wanted. And with him gone, I have no one."
Sofia had had enough. She straddled him, with her knees on his sides. She was pressed against him but she couldn't care less. Mikhail could feel her hot breath against his skin; she was pissed.
His cheeks were reddening as he felt her buttocks on his leg. His shaft hardened as he swallowed loudly.
"How can you say that? You have your brother who went out of his ways to help you. And Flora who basically worships you. You have Manuelito and Juan who count on you to protect them. You have me... Do we mean nothing to you? Do I mean nothing?" she asked angrily.
He wanted to kiss her and take her anger away. But she would probably bite him. He grinned slowly.
"What's so funny?" she demanded.
The more she was getting irritated, the more he wanted to kiss her.

"You mean everything to me now. Ivan, Flora, the kids... And mostly you, doc. I'm so afraid that you would go away. When I first met you, I resented you because you made me feel for the first time after the death of my son. And I don't want anyone else to die because of me."
He took her hand and brought it over his heart. She could feel the frantic beats.
"You make me feel this way. And I'm terrified. You brought me back from darkness but I don't know if I'm ready yet. If I lose you, I'll probably die."
She kissed him.

She kissed the hell out of him. Mikhail was in paradise as her lips pressed against him. Her body was molding itself against his and he groaned as he felt the tip of her tongue probing his lips. He grabbed her hip with one hand and her nape with the other. He took possession of her lips as she gasped and thrust his tongue against hers. It has been a long time since he had last kissed a woman but by her moans, he knew he was doing a good job. Their tongues entwined into a sensual tango as they teased and tasted each other.
They were breathless as they parted, their blood rushing inside their ears.
"I don't know where this is going, Mikhail. But I know it's worth fighting for."
She was right. He had only tasted her once and he was already addicted. Was that even possible? His common sense screamed at him to distance himself from her but he knew that it was the broken little boy speaking.

He had a feeling of well-being whenever she was around. He thought that these situations were only possible in movies but as he looked up in her doe-like eyes, he knew he was a goner. He had this urge to protect her but he knew he couldn't do anything in his current state. He needed to get better. Emilio was a vengeful bastard and he blamed him for Rina's death. He would do anything to hurt him and Sofia was an easy target. His hands fisted on either side of her thighs and she cupped his face gently.
"Everything's going to be fine."
He nodded reluctantly. He wanted to believe her but he had this sick feeling in his stomach. He did not whether it wad his anxiety or a bad feeling.