The Scars ✓

Twenty Nine

Quick Question: Do you guys believe in guardian angels?

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Kiara was lying in her bed, tears trickling down her face as she remembered all the times that she had spent with her grandfather. She felt like there was a void inside her because the only person that knew all her secrets was her grandfather but now that he was gone, she had no other person to turn to. She felt so lonely that she curved into a little ball and continued crying until she fell asleep.

Kiara did not talk about her grandfather for about two months. She did not even talk about her daily things to her photograph which Vrinda and Arjun felt she would do. She just became numb and stopped feeling and sharing her day to day activities. One day, when she came back from school, Vrinda asked her about her day.

"Hey Sweetie, how was school today?"

"The usual."

"How was the math exam, you were so worried about it!"

"Good."

"Do you want lunch? I made pasta today!"

"Not hungry." Kiara said and then went to her room.

Vrinda was really upset seeing her like this so she decided to talk to her and coax her to let out all the bottled emotions that she had inside her. She went to her room and sat beside her on her bed, where she was lying and staring at the ceiling. She felt heartbroken, looking at her daughter and watching that she was not living the usual life a child her age would do. She had started staying at home, in her room, all day. She put her hand on Kiara's back and started rubbing it in order to sooth her.

"Listen Kiara, it's okay to feel hurt and sad. Everyone loses someone at some point in life whom they had loved with whatever they had inside them but you need to understand that you have to let them go. Do you think he would be happy seeing you like this?"

"No." Kiara replied, shutting her eyes.

"Kiara, baby, listen to me. You are a strong girl, you cannot bottle up your emotions like this. You have to be open about yourself and express what you're feeling. I'm not saying talk. Do anything, paint, dance, sing, write, whatever you want to do. Keeping those emotions inside you will never do you good, I promise you that."

"I'll try." Kiara replied dryly.

"Alright." Vrinda sighed and got up to leave but just as she was about to open the door of Kiara's room, she turned around and said, "Also, you have to come to terms with reality and let go of what's not here anymore. You're not holding onto him. You are holding him back. He won't be free from this world to pass on to the next one if you keep holding on to him this strong." Saying that, Vrinda left the room.

Kiara kept thinking about the last words her mother had spoken to her. She thought about it and could not muster the courage to actually let him go. She thought that it'll make her lonely because she could never think about opening up to anyone as much as she had opened up herself to her grandfather. Thinking about all this, she felt herself falling asleep.

***

A sharp white light woke Kiara from her sleep and she looked around for the source to see it coming from outside her window. Astonished, she sat upright and watched with awe what was happening there. She opened the windows to see what object would throw so much light inside her room. She squinted her eyes and tried to see what it was but could not do so. Sighing, she closed the window and drew the curtains to shut out as much light as she could so that she could fall asleep again. That had become her recent way of getting through the day. Just as she closed her eyes, she felt someone touch her shoulder.

Thinking it was her mom, she said, "Mom, I am sleeping. Please let me be."

"I would have, if I was your mother."

She knew that voice, she could never forget it. It was the voice that she was longing to hear and the touch that she wanted to feel for a long time.

"Wh-what-? This isn't possible. You can't be here." Kiara said as she did not believe that he was there, within her reach, right in front of her. She sat up on her bed and he came and sat beside her.

"But I am, honey." Smiled her grandfather.

"But you were gone!" Kiara exclaimed as she reached out to touch him, fearing that he would vanish. Realisation dawned on her and she said, "It's just a dream."

"If it were a dream, would you be able to touch me?" Her grandfather replied and smiled again at the confused expression of Kiara.

"Oh my God, I thought you died. I might have dreamt about that. I am so sorry Grandpa. I don't know how long I slept for. I thought I lost you, forever." Kiara spoke while wiping away the tears.

"You will never lose me, sweetheart. I'm always here with you." Replied her grandfather and then bent down to give her a peck on her forehead.

"So, want to fill me in on all the things I have missed so far?" He asked and Kiara's face broke into a huge grin as she put her head in her grandfather's lap and enjoyed his hands caressing her head in a loving manner.

They talked for a long time. She filled him up with all the events and asked for advices on topics she was confused about. They were having so much fun and Kiara could not believe that he was with her. She didn't know what was real and what was a dream anymore. She felt her eyes getting heavy with sleep with each stroke her grandfather made on her head. When she was almost asleep, she heard her grandfather say,

"You mother was right, you know?"

"About what?"

"Letting me go. I can't be with you all the time, Kiara, I am too old and you have to understand that people come and go. I might not have had a lot of time with you but that doesn't mean that you don't live your life. There are so many things that you have to explore out there that you wouldn't be able to do if you just keep sitting and sulking in your room. I think it's time to let go of me."

"But this feels so good, grandpa." Kiara said, holding his free hand.

"I know, but you have to let go. You'll learn to trust someone more than you ever trusted me and they will make you happy. You will learn to make your own decisions, good and bad. Letting go does not mean that you won't see me again. I will always be there with you, no matter what. But, this is where we part for now baby. I came here to tell you that I loved your cards and I love you."

"I love you too, grandpa."

"My time's up. I have to go in life. Remember, you'll have to be strong and be passionate in life. Do everything with all you've got and I'll be there with you n every step of the way. Tell your mother that I heard what she said two nights back and that I lover her. Tell her to stop crying and be strong. Goodbye, Kiara."

"Where are you going?" Kiara opened her eyes and asked but when she looked around, there was no one. She rubbed her eyes and felt the tears on her cheeks.

She was perplexed as to what had happened until she realised.

It was all a dream.

It was then that she realised that it is so difficult to love something that death can touch.

She opened were wardrobe's drawer and took out her grandfather's photograph and spoke to him, for the first time in two months.

"I will let you go grandpa. Have a good life up there but please don't forget to come and meet me every now and then, if you can. If the distance is too far, then just give me a hint that you're there. I can't do all this without you. I will love you, always!" Kiara said and wiped her tears and smiled. She kept the picture back and then went out to open the door to her mother's room.

"Mom?" Kiara said as she entered the room.

"Yes baby?" Vrinda asked as she muted the television that she had been watching.

"I have to tell you something..." 

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